Top 110 Funeral Quotes

I used to sing at funeral homes for families that didn’t have a vocalist. I didn’t get paid. I needed to sing.

The biggest problem is the funerals that don’t exist. People call the funeral home, they pick up the body, they mail the ashes to you, no grief, no happiness, no remembrance, no nothing. That happens more often than it doesn’t in the United States.

I grew up in the suburbs of a small town on the south coast where the only opportunity I ever got to wear anything smart was a funeral, so I had never owned a piece of clothing worth more than £40.

An elephant funeral makes me weep every time, and so does an ad with a kid leaving home for college.

When a nation’s young men are conservative, its funeral bell is already rung.

My mum had 14 pregnancies – but only four of us survived. We had a little sister born for a few days and she died. There had to be a funeral.

In the city a funeral is just an interruption of traffic; in the country it is a form of popular entertainment.

A friend of mine said something powerful at his grandfather’s funeral. He said that the greatest lesson from his grandfather’s life was that he died empty, because he accomplished everything he wanted, with no regrets. I think that, along with leaving a legacy, would be the greatest sign of success.

When my grandfather died, I was on tour, and I didn’t go to the funeral. I never got to say goodbye, and this is one of the problems of being in a rock band is that you’re away, and your loved ones die, and you can’t even see them.

I don’t have any set things that I’m looking for, like, ‘I’ve done this now I want to do this,’ kind of thing. Just read the material, if it appeals, if it makes me laugh: like, ‘Death at a Funeral’ made me laugh out loud.

It’s bad taste to be wise all the time, like being at a perpetual funeral.

I remember going to a funeral at a very fundamentalist church, and I just had to get out of there. I went out in the parking lot and just sobbed. I think there was a sense of loss of that little boy not knowing if he was right or wrong. Everything I grew up with I had to walk away from.

I’ll always remember when I bumped into Good Morning America’s Robin Roberts on a flight to my mother’s funeral in 1994, and how kind she was during that difficult time.

When my dad passed away, I was under a lot of stress with planning a funeral, trying to pick out just the right flowers and pictures, and simply trying to find the right way to say goodbye.

We’re passionate musicians, but we felt classical concerts were more like a funeral because nobody talked and everybody was dressed so conservatively. We thought that’s kind of strange, because music is full of life! We thought we could break through that barrier with theater and comedy elements.

Life should not be a funeral march to the grave. We should have the capacity for being able to lift up not just public dialogue, but lift up each other in a greater cause of nationhood.

During my grandma’s funeral, I looked over once and saw my mom crying, and I felt so bad for her.

You can’t choreograph death, but you can choreograph your funeral.

You know, when you break it down, ‘Broken Vows’ is, if anything, more about my parents divorce. And ‘Starting Over’ was written after I went to a funeral.

When elected officials abandon our environment and ruin our natural resources, public health is endangered. I know the importance of providing a clean environment for our children; I have attended more than one funeral for a child who has died from an asthma attack.

Don’t go to the funeral until the day of the funeral. Live this day.

I grew up in a secular suburban Jewish household where we only observed the religion on very specific times like a funeral or a Bar Mitzvah.

When I was 7 years old, I put on shows for everyone at my grandpa’s funeral. I was always the little entertainer.

My solo album is dead and buried. We had the funeral. It was sad and I cried a lot but it made such a beautiful corpse that we had an open casket.

The trouble with dead people often begins with something called the Death Master File, which is kept by the Social Security Administration. Every day, new reports are added, provided by relatives, funeral homes, and the state agencies that issue official death certificates. The list contains 90 million reports.

Many old music hall fans were present at the funeral today of Fred ‘Chuckles’ Jenkins, Britain’s oldest and unfunniest comedian. In tribute, the vicar read out one of Fred’s jokes, and the congregation had two minutes silence.

The joy of ‘The X-files’ is how it plays on so many different realities never knowing what is the truth and what is the deception. So my approach to my character has always been that we are alive and have always been alive and were never ‘killed off’ but held a fake funeral in ‘Jump the Shark’ to get the heat off of us.

I had a sort of classic moment when a friend of mine rang up and said she’d just been to a funeral, and in the middle of the eulogy, this kid had taken out the phone and had a whole proper text conversation – while everyone was weeping!

You can have money piled to the ceiling but the size of your funeral is still going to depend on the weather.

I was working for Martin Finnegan. He was my best mate in racing. I went to his wedding in November 2007. No-one else from the racing world was invited apart from me and my girlfriend. The funeral was the following May.

The two biggest meals of your life you don’t have to cook and you don’t get to eat. The first you don’t eat because no man eats – or cares what he eats – at his wedding. The second you don’t eat because, well, no man eats at his funeral, either.

‘Selfie’ is the word du jour, and it became cause celebre at Nelson Mandela’s funeral when the Danish Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt took a selfie with U.S. President Barack Obama and U.K. Prime Minister David Cameron.

I mean I’m one of those people that laugh at a funeral. And it’s always the worst time, but there’s always a place to find something funny.

If any of you cry at my funeral, I’ll never speak to you again!

I was so angry at God for taking my father from me that I marched up to my mother before the funeral and told her I was going to quit nursing school. I just wanted to stop living.

One of the things that was most shocking to me about starting to work in the funeral industry is just how industrial the environment is.

I’ve certainly had a bad attitude to my job on many occasions. Not since ‘Four Weddings and a Funeral’. I’ve been rather a good boy and really given it everything when I’ve accepted a part since then, because I’ve been given much better parts in films.

I was still a recruit in the Boston Police Academy when I attended my first police funeral. It was September 28, 1970. I remember it still.

Anything awful makes me laugh. I misbehaved once at a funeral.

There have been times when I’ve felt inappropriately emotional. I remember making ‘The Most Hated Family in America’ about the Westboro Baptist Church, and being on the way to a funeral of a U.S. soldier with the Phelps family; they were going to picket the funeral.

Everyone has to go to a funeral at some time and you need to be dark and sombre, and in a black tie.

‘Four Weddings and a Funeral’ is one of my favorite movies, and I laugh all the time, and I cry during the one funeral. But I’ll say that ‘Monsters, Inc.’ is a movie that really gets me super-emotional. Especially the ending.

Laura Bush went on national television during the week of my father’s funeral and spoke out against embryonic stem cell research, pointing out that where Alzheimer’s is concerned, we don’t have proof that stem-cell treatment would be effective.

Love is the funeral of hearts.

If you love helping people, and you love trying to bring comfort and peace to their life at a very, very difficult time, you’re going to have to look pretty hard to find a profession that gives you more opportunities than the funeral business.

If my fans want to do something for me when that time comes, I say, don’t waste your money on me. Help the homeless. Help the needy… people who don’t have no food… Instead of some big funeral, where they come from here and there and all over. Save it.

Inheritance taxes are so high that the happiest mourner at a rich man’s funeral is usually Uncle Sam.

I’ve had to write a column an hour after I’ve come back from a funeral. A deadline is a deadline, I mean, that was just what my job was.

I’ve laughed hysterically, just trying to hold it in, at every funeral I’ve been to, because everyone’s so serious. And there are a lot of people speaking publicly, which makes you understand why it’s people’s number one fear – because everyone shouldn’t do it.

I’ve been a fascinated observer of grand public funerals since I was a kid, starting with the life-altering black-and-white images of President John F. Kennedy’s funeral.

I wanted to make a human monster. His name is Coffin Baby. The idea is based on a group of people from Pasadena whose names I can’t mention. His mother died and during the funeral, this baby came out of her in the coffin.