Top 122 Tracy Morgan Quotes

I don’t get on the phone and prank people and things like that on the phone with people, no.

I’m not a child star, but you could say that I’ve grown up on TV. I went from being an unknown, down-and-out comic from Brooklyn and the Bronx to being a regular character on a major network comedy called ‘Martin.’ From there I went on to become the most notable black comic on ‘Saturday Night Live’ since Eddie Murphy.

I’ve still got family members living below the poverty line in New York.

Most creative thing I’ve ever done? Got somebody pregnant.

I know how people are. We fixate on controversy and all that.

For my first gig, I got $75. I could make money being funny, so I pursued it as a career and have turned it into a lucrative business.

Tracy Morgan is subdued. I’m cool. I’m chilled out.

We need to learn to laugh at ourselves because when you don’t laugh, you cry. And I don’t feel like crying.

I’m human, I feel, I understand. That’s the highest level of love, is understanding – when you can understand someone, when you can love them with their flaws and their faults. So I understand, I consider. I may speak the truth, but I’ll consider your feelings, too.

I have friends who are black, white, purple, gay, straight, Martian, yellow, old, and young. I have friends who are animals and a few who I believe to be robots. All of them are people to me. In my mind, it’s not about what you look like or what you do; it’s about who you are inside.

Stand-up is my foundation. That’s where it started at. And I love it because it’s personal. It’s mine. It’s all me. It’s my experience in life.

Of all the sicknesses, there is probably none more abusive than homophobia.

What I have learned over the years is to try to stay in the moment. I want to feel it all because I’ve realized nothing lasts.

You can’t hold me to the same standard as the president or a school teacher. I’m just a comedian. My job is like Archie Bunker.

Having a daughter makes you see things in a different way. You have to see how you’re carrying yourself because there’s a little girl. There’s not a little boy, there’s a little girl. I think I’m a little more overprotective.

I deal with my sons like young men. If they have a problem with something, they come to me. I am the type of dad that will drop everything I am doing for them, and always tell them to talk to me about it.

A stand-up’s job is to hold the mirror up to society and to look at what we’re afraid of. That’s why we had shows like ‘All in the Family’ and ‘The Jeffersons.’ We made fun of ourselves then.

What you have to understand is that my thing is not glamour. I love stretch marks and C-section scars and all of that. I’m a grown man. You don’t gotta put on no makeup with me.

Listen, Bruce Lee fought out of anger. That’s why they call it the ‘Fists of Fury.’ Michael Jackson danced with fury. I do stand up out of fury. I’m not mad at anybody. I’m not mad at any human being because I’m a human being.

It’s like going to the zoo when you come to my house. I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions and a bird spider.

I’ve got friends who want money but don’t want to do anything to earn it.

I grew up in the projects in Brooklyn, and I consider myself lucky and blessed to be where I am – just working.

Some people believe everything they see on TV. People, it’s called tel-lie-vision!

I do my best creating on stage.

I have the person at home, the person who has his privacy, too. Michael Jackson didn’t do the moonwalk in his kitchen.

If you can get your life down to one minute at a time, you don’t miss anything. You have total abundance of information and material.

If I had to describe my sense of humor, I would say it’s contemporary wit, you know what I’m saying?

I’m not perfect, but I strive for it.

The truth is, I’ve never thought of myself as the Michael Jordan of comedy. And that’s a good thing. You know why? Because I’m not. Wasn’t that Richard Pryor? Yes, it was. I know what I am: I’m funny!

People walked out on Richard Pryor and he’s the funniest man alive.

I don’t control the line of ‘funny,’ ‘funny,’ ‘funny,’ ‘not funny.’

I do comedy for real people.

Stand-up is the foundation to my career. It’s what I started out doing.

Ladies are honest. They’re my motivation. They know what’s funny, and the dudes just follow.

The only person who knows what’s in my wallet is my wife.

Reality is the scary thing. Not my work, not comedy.

I was like any other inner-city kid with a chip on his shoulder because his daddy and his mommy wasn’t together.

I was never a big comic book fan. I was always more into the baseball cards.

‘Saturday Night Live’ was the joy of my life.

If I make fun of somebody at my show, believe me, it’s something we can all laugh at.

All women like to look up to their men.

So I think all comedians are earning their wings into heaven. We’re all going to heaven, but everybody’s not going to get their wings. Some people are just going to be regular angels. Doing cleanup, janitor work. In heaven, I’m going to sit on the couch with Oprah.

I love ’30 Rock’ because Tina Fey allows me to fly over the cuckoo nest once a week.

Comedians are the monkeys of acting. When you go to the zoo, everybody loves the monkey exhibit.

I guess I’m entertaining; I guess I’m interesting. I guess the things that I say sell papers. I guess they sell magazines. I don’t know.

There’s ups and downs of any job. If you worked at the post office, there’s ups and downs. You have your good days, and you have your bad days. If you’re a housewife, you have your good days, and you have your bad days.

I don’t need no stool and mike stand. I don’t need all of that to be funny. I’ve been funny my whole life. This is a gift God gave me. I spread love wherever I’m at. I’m like Marvin Gaye.

If you’re the kind of person who likes numbers and statistics, I’m the long shot – the Lotto Powerball winner. I’m the mutation in the DNA that makes evolution a reality. I am the new black.

I had a great time working on ‘Saturday Night Live.’ It was one of the important times in my life.

I’m no Jerry Seinfeld. I wasn’t raised with some backyard with a creek and trees and all that.

If you can survive ‘Saturday Night Live,’ then you’re good as far as show business is concerned.

I’m not getting any younger. You’re not getting any younger, so yeah. You age.

I come from where Mike Tyson came from. I come from right across the street from Jay-Z. I didn’t have a pond in my backyard. I saw violence.

Stand-up don’t get no respect – it’s the hardest thing to do in show business. You don’t have no band and there’s no music.

I spread love wherever I’m at. I’m like Marvin Gaye.

I think the word ‘pregnant’ is funny.

I have a nice following in Boston. The Boston crowd is very hip.

I think people would want to see Tracy Morgan host ‘Saturday Night Live.’

Where I came from, people couldn’t afford to go to the theatre.

I’m glad I dropped out of high school, man. I wouldn’t be where I’m at. I would have had a net. I’m glad I didn’t have anything to fall back on, man, because that made me go for my dreams that much harder.

I mellowed out; my daughter mellowed me out, and I don’t get mad at anyone.

Growing up in the ghetto is pretty hard. It’s poverty; it’s frustration.

I just want to be funny, I just want to do comedy.

I have a pretty diverse audience, and that makes me happy – laughter is universal, and I don’t differentiate between people at all. Why should I? People are people. There’s no reason why one person can’t relate to any other person on this planet in some way or another.

I want to show the world my humor.

Cool is the enemy of funny. You can’t be cool and be funny at the same time. Only Eddie Murphy could do that.

The version of me you see on TV now and in my feature films is a pretty happy guy, isn’t he?

My heart is committed to giving everyone the same rights that I deserve for myself.

You have to be highly intelligent to get away with a dumb joke. That takes a pretty smart fella.

I do stand up sometimes out of anger. Sometimes the greatest stuff comes from a dark place.

When you look at the artists who have come up through ‘Billboard’ over the years, it’s incredible.

If I gamble, I’ll play roulette. My wife and I will play roulette, and that’s about it. I’m not a heavy gambler.

When you’re in the spotlight, people want to dissect you and then put you back together the way they want you.

When a child is born, it’s born with a heart of gold, but the way of this world can turn that heart cold. I’m still a good person, and I thank God for that – He’s working with me on it.

I’m a human being. I feel all emotions. I’m not just happy all the time. Sometimes, I’m sad and feel the blues. Sometimes I even want to feel the blues. Sometimes, you want to feel down.

Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses.

‘Saturday Night Live’ is live television. Nothing can compare to that.

We have freedom of speech, but you got to watch what you say.

When I want to work on my material, I go to Benihana or the barbershop.

Most people don’t know what’s happening around them because they’re just speeding through life. And before they know it, they’re just old. So I just try to slow it down.

No one set that I ever do is the same. I mean, if I go to a comedy club, and I perform three sets, all three sets are different because anything can happen in between sets.

When you see me on the street, act like you know me.

That’s a gift God’s given us: the ability to work together in collaborations.

My life growing up was a twisted Bronx version of ‘The Color Purple.’ It had a much different soundtrack and no trees, but that desperation was the same.

Being funny wasn’t a career choice growing up, it was my way out of situations; a way to survive another day.

It’s very important to be in your child’s life and know what’s going on and be there with them.

I know who I am. When I look in the mirror, I see me.

In New York, we get down. In L.A., everybody’s pretty much standing around like they’re at a keg stand. You got to get the party started, so I just take my shirt off.

You will be surprised but I do a lot of studying and I watch National Geographic.

When Richard Pryor did comedy, it was like he was having a conversation.

And when I was angry, when I was younger, I was in a cocoon. Now I’m a beautiful, black butterfly.

As a child, I was able to know that I wanted a better life.

My father was funnier than me. My father was Richard Pryor-funny. I’m just a better businessman.

Rock bottom for some people is death. Some people never learn from their mistakes. They don’t learn from other people’s mistakes.

To me, politics is a pile of tricks.

I don’t see myself as angry, although other people see that. I just see myself as a short, dumpy guy with bad feet, and I’m passionate.

I have my Lucky Charms in the morning, and I feel magical.

You have to give a wound time to heal and think of other people’s feelings.

I love my mother. My mother made sure, her stubbornness – she made sure we was going to eat. She made sure we had Christmases. That was my mother. My father wasn’t there for that.

Parents should support and love their kids no matter what.

If I get some Bruce Lee nun-chucks that he actually used in a movie, those are going in the case. Those will never be used. Those will never be touched.

Comedy clubs are sacred ground. That’s where anything goes.

I’ve been funny my whole life. This is a gift God gave me.

I’m a black man in America, so I’m going to be misunderstood.

They say that every Jewish person is supposed to love one black person in his life. I’m glad Lorne Michaels chose me.

I’m a big, big movie fan. I watch ‘The Ten Commandments’ and the original ‘Planet of the Apes’ every night.

The further you go, what, I’m gonna wait til I’m 80? Naw, I’m tellin’ my story now. I was just moved. I was moved to tell my story. You know? People write books all the time.

Yeah, race exists. Racism is still here, and it’s doing well. Turn on the news. I don’t think me and my comedy can really change that.

What am I afraid of? The IRS. That’s it. I don’t want those people knockin’ on my door, man.

Black people dance well because we start early – there’s music being played everywhere. White people? They don’t start dancing until they get to college, and by then, it’s too late; the bottom don’t move with the top no matter how hard they try.

There’s nothing wrong with looking at a woman’s kneecaps.

I love working with Alec Baldwin. He’s one of the five greatest actors ever to live.

My voice is very distinct. People hear Tracy Morgan’s voice, and they know Tracy Morgan right off the bat because I’ve been in their homes for so many years.

I’m around my kids every day. I’m regular. We’re a regular family. My wife cooks, she washes clothes, I read books, I pump my own gas, I get my own hair cut.

I’ve played outrageous characters my whole career.

You get somebody to crack a smile, that’s a beautiful thing.

Having boys is different. Boys, you put sneakers on, and they’re out, they’re ready. Girls, you gotta pay a little bit more attention to them.

I love animals, but I don’t want to talk to them. I’d rather be able to talk to other people on other continents and understand them.

I don’t believe in storks. I know they don’t deliver babies; they deliver pickles.

I got five kids – I claim three for income tax purposes.

It’s just, people recognize you for your work, you know? They love you for your work, and they judge you for your work. It’s awesome to have people quoting you. I love it.

If we all had a little bit of Michael Jackson in us, I think it would make the world a better place.