Words matter. These are the best Jimmy Carr Quotes, and they’re great for sharing with your friends.
I don’t think it’s any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and ‘manned up’ in the same year. I was described somewhere as a lapsed Catholic, which is funny because I’m not going back! I want to achieve things rather than live life in an animalistic way.
You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face.
Staying in luxury hotels still gives me a kick, especially Oulton Hall in Yorkshire. I’d stay in a hotel for the breakfast and room service.
I don’t see myself as offending people.
I was in love with the idea of being in love with a woman way before I was actually in love with one.
The bigger the audience, the better with comedy.
I like to write a joke without any fat on it. The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.
They say the people most affected by the credit crunch are pensioners – well, let go of the handbag then, Nanna.
Women were quite terrifying until I was older. I think that’s partly down to confidence.
I go around the country and do a simple gag like, ‘The property ladder is now a snake’ and get a real laugh.
The tragedy for comedians is there’s nothing more they want than to be liked. We desperately seek approval. It’s almost like a personality disorder you can do as a job.
I was in the South of France. I saw a Brownie on a school trip. She was holding up a book. It said on the front ‘rough guide’. I thought: ‘Yeah’ she’s not a looker.
I am trying to release endorphins here. I am not preaching to you – I am trying to make you laugh.
A surprising amount of my jokes sound very implausible but are true.
Yes, I have this crazy honk of a laugh.
The first few weeks of joining Weight Watchers, you’re just finding your feet.
After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny’s words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead.
Even if you’re doing the national insurance awards, there’s still that excitement when you wonder who is going to win, er, best premiums.
