Words matter. These are the best Tom Segura Quotes, and they’re great for sharing with your friends.
I don’t like big events and crowded areas. I’m almost a curmudgeonly old man in that aspect. I’ve been like that forever.
I used to do much shorter jokes a lot more.
I think I’m a decent person.
People will say, ‘What’s your favorite part of Cincinnati?’ I’m like, ‘I was nine, man. I liked recess and having snacks. I didn’t go anywhere. I was a kid.’
It’s okay for me to make jokes about disabled people and people with horrible diseases because they make me uncomfortable, and I don’t want to be like them.
When you tour as much as I do, you’re always on the road, and you tend to gravitate toward cities where you’re like, ‘Every time I’m in that city, the shows are fun.’
I’m a sarcastic, observational storyteller.
You should make travel as comfortable as possible.
You get such a visceral thrill driving a race car. You think you’ve driven, and then you’re like, ‘Oh, I was doing something for 20 years that I didn’t realize I hadn’t experienced the real version of.’
I’m really happy when I’m actively creating things. When I’m frustrated and not excited, it’s because I haven’t written anything in a month or so.
I always like it when I eat myself out of breath. That’s a good boost to my day. You know, I’m eating, and I go, ‘Oooohhh.’ It’s better a few moments later when you get to think about it, when you’re like, ‘Why did I just stop to take a deep breath? Oh yeah, my body also needs air.’
The thing for me is that my natural state is to be reserved and not share.
I’m not the nicest guy on stage.
I’ve always worked toward, and felt comfortable with, you know, pausing and guiding the audience on a longer bit.
I’ll never be a TV writer.
I’ve never been a big party guy or super social.
Here’s some advice: if something really embarrassing happens to your kid, don’t take it on national TV.
Vancouver just feels comfortable to me.
I don’t switch my act up to win over the crowd. I’m more like, ‘You came here… this is what I do.’ I dig my heels in harder if I feel like they are not on board.
Every person learns with time and experience.
