Words matter. These are the best Gary Chapman Quotes, and they’re great for sharing with your friends.
I think people desperately want to feel love.
For a long time, I have been wanting to write a book for singles that would help them in the dating process and in getting ready for marriage. Most of my writing, I’ve written to couples who are already married, because I’ve been doing marriage counseling for 35 years.
I have been doing marriage counseling for about 15 years and I realized that what makes one person feel loved, doesn’t make another person feel loved.
I thought the whole thing was you fall in love with somebody, and it’s so wonderful, and it’s so euphoric, and it’s going to be that way forever. Nobody told me that two years after you fall in love, you’re going to come down off the euphoria.
When you’re married, the person you would most like to love you is your spouse. And if you feel loved by your spouse, the world looks bright. But if the love tank is empty, and you don’t feel loved by your spouse, the world begins to look dark.
Years and years ago, I said I did not want to write academic books. I want to write books that are in the language of the common person so that Joe, who didn’t even go to college, can sit down and read my book and get it and apply it to his life.
In reality, relationships that are successful tend to take the attitude, ‘How can I help you?’ ‘How can I enrich your life?’ ‘How can I be a better husband to you,’ if it’s a marriage.
You need to listen to your friends when they point out things about the person you’re in love with. Listen to them, because they see what you can’t see right now, but you’ll see it later.
There were only two things I knew in a Christian framework that I could do. One would be the pastor of a church, the other would be a missionary. I didn’t particularly like snakes, so I decided I should probably be a pastor.
That is the idea that good Christians don’t talk about sex, at least not out loud, and certainly not in the church. I want to say that both of those ideas are fallacious.
If you want to improve a relationship, it’s not that you demand your spouse to change. You have to ask, ‘Where did I fail in this relationship?’
If we can develop the character and work with God, then let him develop the character of Christ in us, we’re going to become the best possible husband, the best possible wife.
If you are sitting on the couch with the TV off, and you are looking into each other’s eyes and talking, that is quality time – so is taking a walk or going out to eat, so long as you are communicating with each other.
One of the things I say is, ‘You cannot control your spouse, but you can influence your spouse.’ And one of the ways to influence your spouse is to make sure you are meeting their need for love.
I think that in today’s world, by nature, we are all self-centered. And that often leads to selfishness.
The human race could not go on without reproduction, and marriage creates the most secure environment in which to raise children.
It is universal to give gifts as an expression of love. My academic background is anthropology, the study of cultures. We have never discovered a culture where gift-giving is not an expression of love.
People need to know their marriage is worth fighting for.
As a senior in high school, I had a strong sense that God wanted me in some kind of ministry.
The desire for romantic love in marriage is deeply rooted in our psychological makeup.
Typically, we get annoyed when our spouses complain. We get defensive. But, really, when your spouse complains, he or she is giving you wonderful information about what would make him or her feel loved.
I remember, in the early days of my marriage, I thought I married the wrong person. We held to our own ideas of what the other should be and do, but neither of us lived up to those expectations.
