Words matter. These are the best Louie Anderson Quotes, and they’re great for sharing with your friends.
We all think we’re going to get out of debt.
You can’t open anything after your 50. You have to wait ’til people stop by the house. ‘Oh my God, I’m glad you’re here.’
I was with a famous comedian when a young fan walked up and asked for an autograph. The comedian blew him off. I’ll never forget the look on the young boy’s face. He was devastated.
We were on welfare when we were kids. Thanks for reminding me of that.
Everybody wanted to make it. One guy makes it. In a family when one guy makes it… ‘Hey ain’t you going to help us out?’
I’m a 7 o’clock act. My people want to go to a show, a dinner and then go home and go to bed.
I’m at 23 feet, diving into 17 feet of water. I’m over 400 pounds. Who doesn’t want to see that? I do. I’m always shocked that I can do it.
If I have food in the house and I’m laying in bed, I go, ‘I bet that Captain Crunch is lonely in the cupboard.’
I started a big part of my career in Vegas.
When I say, ‘I can’t stay long, I’m in-between meals,’ that plays differently on the radio than it does in person. So I have to pick material that works because the words are funny, not just because of the images.
I have about 1,000 hours of myself on tape in a vault in Los Angeles. But I also have a photographic memory about my jokes, because they’re really about me; they’re my stories.
All great comedians make me laugh, but people make me laugh more.
You have to be funny about it and honest about it. You can’t leave yourself out of that mix. You have to be honest enough to say, I’m that messed-up one in the family.
Dr. Phil was very helpful and caring. I believe he helped all of us there and watching how to better relate, understand, and communicate with our families and loved ones. Dr. Phil recommended reading my new book.
Minnesotans really think they run the whole world, I love that.
Everyone always comes to one point in their life as an artist where you can either let your heart guide you or your ego.
I really try to have fun. If I don’t have fun, you won’t have fun. That’s what my gift is: to relieve people from a little of the pain and comfort in their lives by allowing my comedy to distract them. A good laugh is almost as good as any doctor visit.
A real estate closer. Oh, what’s that? I’m a real estate opener. What is a real estate closer? You mean at the end where you’ve got to sign all those papers?
I would trade everything I have to have had a happier childhood.
I was kind of a Rickles comic to begin with. I was caustic, and I was abusive and mean to the audience.
I can’t stay long; I’m in between meals.
One time, I came off stage and a guy named Roman Decare, God rest his soul, he was a comic. ‘Louie, if you do that family stuff, and you’re a clean comic on stage, you’ll become famous.’ And, for some reason, a switch clicked, and I started doing the family stuff, and it became a giant part of my life.
