Words matter. These are the best Artie Lange Quotes, and they’re great for sharing with your friends.
Richard Lewis is the master at taking a joke that he’s told a million times in a row in the past year, on the road, and making it look like he’s pulling it out of thin air.
I’m like the master of ceremonies being funny, and then sometimes people you’re with, girlfriends and stuff, are like, ‘God I wish I had the person on stage to be with all the time.’
As a child, as far as I was concerned, my dad had an amazing job, and we had all the money we needed. My life was so fun and carefree that I didn’t realize at all that we weren’t rich – until I met someone rich. Still, I’ve never met a rich kid who grew up as happy as I did.
I used to be a longshoreman. I didn’t go to college. I have a voice that when I say something, it can sound way meaner than you think it is.
Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that’s as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.
Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.
When you’re an adult, when times are good, entire years go by in what feels like the space of one season. But the worst trick time plays on you is just how slowly the worst times in your life take you to live through.
Comedians, we’re just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine. Like, if Jerry Seinfeld wasn’t funny, you’d want to punch him in the face; he’d just seem like a whiner to you. But the fact is that he’s funny.
Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that.
The road is a lonely place, and that sounds like a cliche, you know, like what is my life?
I never went through a period were I wanted to be a doctor, a cop or even a rock star. All I wanted to do was play short stop for the Yankees from the time I was about 5. Then I turned 15 and realized how silly that was and just gave up on it.
The Howard Stern Show is a big hit because it entertains dumb and smart people at the same time for different reasons.
To tell you the truth, I always wanted to be a sketch comedian and a comedy actor.
Richard Lewis has this incredible ability to look like he’s just… you know it’s an act that’s been honed. What you have to do in standup is create spontaneity, somehow; even though you’ve done this act a million times, you gotta look like you’re almost just thinking of it now, to make it entertainer.
Whiskey will always be a part of my life.
It’s good to be alive.
You know you’re on stage being the life of the party and trying to get laughs, and then, in a lot of ways, you don’t have anything to give once you give it to the people.
When I became a standup comic, my hero, one of them, was Richard Pryor, and you know, I think that comedians, like, comedians talk about hacks, and what a hack is, is someone who does stuff that’s not original.
I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.
Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
Artie is going to do what ever Artie wants to do.
I was always a thin kid; I was an athlete.
It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn’t the greatest looking guy in the world.
‘Course the world of sports takes itself way too serious. Sports writers are all high and mighty.
