Top 25 Bert Kreischer Quotes

I run into guys all the time that say, ‘Me and my three buddies started fat shaming each other and we collectively lost 130 pounds.’

I am not a big fan of very prepared standup. I like when Dave Attell writes and I appreciate it but I much more enjoy with he does crowd work. I’m not that kind of comic that prepares a specific set. If I see a comic do the same prepared set night after night I am so bored.

I did nine years with Travel Channel and had all of these incredible experiences.

People take getting offended in L.A. to an art form.

I get this weird energy that starts in my feet and goes up and fills my head, and I just want to get everyone in the crowd to laugh.

I’m a comedian. I want you to laugh. That’s my main goal. I punch things up to get things tighter, quicker and get you to the joke faster.

I’ve always clowned around.

There’s nothing like making a crowd laugh. For me that’s the ultimate high.

I have always liked being the life of the party.

I read some older books when I worked at Barnes And Noble, like some of the American classics. I read a lot of Hemingway. I fell in love with Hemingway’s prose and with the way he wrote. I feel like he’s talking to me, like we’re in a bar and he’s not trying to jazz it up and sound smart, he’s just being him.

Doing a reality show is like being in a fraternity.

I grew up Catholic and still feel a lot of Catholic guilt. But my wife is not religious so we’re not raising our daughters religiously.

My biggest regret is by far doing the Travel Channel show, ‘Bert the Adventurer.’ I spent seven years away from my family. I don’t regret the job or working for the channel; I regret being away from home.

I generate a lot of good vibrations, good energy.

Some of the most fun I’ve ever had has been filming ‘Bert the Conqueror.’ As a stand-up comedian, I love putting this humorous spin on travel, and I get the added bonus of using all these wild adventures in my act.

I’d love to be a movie star. That’d be great. But I lost the looks awhile ago. They slipped right through my hands like sand in an hourglass.

I’m the guy who needs to be front and center. I joined a fraternity to do that.

Part of my personality is I like to have a good time and I’m an extrovert, and extroverts, they blossom as meathead frat boys and extroverts get labeled as meathead frat boys. For me, it’s just part of my personality.

I love partying and I love laughing.

I like comics like Janeane Garofalo who is very stream of conscious in an honest way.

I say off-the-wall things to get a response.

I’d love to write a book called ‘How to Raise a Virgin.’ Seriously, I think a book about that would sell.

If there’s an adrenaline rush, I will find it; if there’s an anxiety attack, I will have it.

I’ve learned to control my anxiety.

I’m not technically brand-friendly to feminists.