Words matter. These are the best Jenny Eclair Quotes, and they’re great for sharing with your friends.
I think my siblings sometimes have to defend me within their social circles – they are both barristers.
If I do go to the beach there have to be certain rules: it can’t be a pebbly beach, there has to be some shade and there has to be a beach bar. I don’t want to go off the beaten track.
I am best viewed from a distance… and at night.
I can’t watch other people doing comedy. As soon as somebody starts being funny I have to turn off because it upsets me. I get comedy indigestion. I just hate anybody else being funny. That’s my job.
I was trained as an actress. But I wasn’t a very convincing actress, so I started doing punk poetry and then fell into doing stand-up.
After graduating from flares and platforms in the early 1970s, I started drama school wearing a pair of khaki dungarees with one of my Dad’s Army shirts, accessorised by a cat’s basket doubling as a handbag. Very Lady Gaga.
I can’t sing.
A good fart joke makes me bawl with laughter, so will somebody farting. And the word ‘poo.’ You can’t beat a good poo joke.
The only way to go on holiday is with your expectations at ground level. Convince yourself before you go that the weather’s going to be dreadful and there will be nylon sheets. You’ll then be pleasantly surprised.
I’m the least spiritual person in the world. I can’t even abide a smelly candle. I know it’s meant to make me relax, and that immediately makes my hackles rise.
I don’t do marriage. I think it’s incredibly naff. And I don’t like vulgar displays of ostentation.
There should be more booing in shops and restaurants and places like that when when the service is bad. If you’ve had a poor breakfast in a hotel, you should put your knife and fork down and boo.
I have a fear of poverty in old age. I have this vision of myself living in a skip and eating cat food. It’s because I’m freelance, and I’ve never had a proper job. I don’t have a pension, and my savings are dwindling. I always thought someone would just come along and look after me.
I’m very bad at having heroes. I don’t rate anyone particularly highly because I’m so snide and competitive and not very nice.
I might be needy, competitive and desperate but it’s far better than being wet.
What has happened to the good old-fashioned travel agent? I want to go to a really posh travel agent and have them organise everything for me. I don’t want to do things on the Internet.
I think I might actually die of showing off. It’ll be on my headstone – ‘Cause of Death: Showing Off.’
I only socialise with people that I have a lot in common with.
I’ve just got crap hair. Although I inherited a lot of stuff from my dad, including giant knees, I didn’t get his good, thick hair. I got my mother’s thin, wispy, non-event hair instead.
The comedy I like the best is comedy I can’t do, stuff that doesn’t touch my arena.
I can eat a man, but I’m not sure of the fiber content.
I can’t tan naturally.
My daughter has always had a strong sense of her own identity. From the day she was born her father and I were in love with and in awe of her and still are.
Well, I really don’t like heights. I don’t get on the top deck of a double-decker because that’s a bit high for me. I always feel that I’m going to hurl myself off, so heights are a problem.
I’ve got this horrible feeling that I’m one of those people who’ll always have to flog their guts out to get anywhere.