Top 30 Jarvis Cocker Quotes

I’d been thinking I’d have to learn how to play really well, but obviously the message of punk was that you just learn three chords in a week and you’re away.

For me, the great thing about music is that anybody can do it.

Silver Machine still sounds really modern with all the white noise. It’s a bit punky in a way. They were ahead of their time.

If you get involved in music expecting to make a living out of it, then you’ve picked the wrong thing to do. That shouldn’t really be in your mind.

Don’t think that the things around you don’t count, because they do.

But I’ve got ideas. I keep my little notebook, I’ve always got that with me. Hopefully there’s more stuff than nonsense in there.

The thing with Disney songs is they’re very manipulative, very sentimental, but they do get you, you know – there’s a kind of sadness to them and that kind of music doesn’t really exist any more.

I’m not very keen on ageing. I’m not keen on the physical decay. I probably am quite vain. I think you want to try and look OK for the benefit of other people.

I’m always amazed by people who blog all the time and tweet all the time, and still get things done. I don’t know how they do it.

I’d always fought against presenting radio really, because my father was a radio DJ in Australia. He’s just recently retired. And I kind of didn’t want to follow in his footsteps. But I suppose, as we all find as we become older, to some extent we do all become our parents.

Oh you know, I’ve been writing a novel.

I think basically becoming famous has taken the place of going to Heaven in modern society, hasn’t it? That’s the place where your dreams will come true. It’s an act of faith now; they think that’s going to sort things out.

The good thing about people really is their iffy-ness and dodginess, isn’t it?

The things in my songs are the edited highlights of my life. I don’t go seeking out strange sexual experiences every day of the week.

A Conservative government is necessary. There is no credible alternative.

I always thought that I might retire from any form of sexuality by the age of 40 and just become a dignified older person.

As a shy kid growing up in Sheffield, I fantasized about how it would be great to be famous so I wouldn’t actually have to talk to people and feel awkward. And of course, as we all know from fairy stories, when you achieve that ambition, you find out you don’t want it.

You get to a certain age and you just want to prove that you can still rock – that you’ve still got it.

I am passionate about keeping the human dimension in things. You have to keep the rough edges and the inconsistencies, that’s what makes it interesting. I’ve always striven to be as sloppy as possible.

I would like to believe in an afterlife; it makes things more palatable. But I’m not banking on it.

Will you see Pulp again? Who knows. I’m not stoking those particular rumours.

For TV you also get those pre-interviews when researchers ask you what you’re going to say. The pre-interview drives me insane. If they’ve already decided the outcome, why don’t I just hand in an essay? Maybe if we talk we’ll find something out. I’d rather just have an awkward pause.

In some ways, I always thought you’re better off behaving like a rock star when you’re a normal person. Because if you do it as a rock star, you’ll end up in the papers and your life will be made a misery.

You know when you get into that thing where people want to discuss the relationship? I’d rather discuss what was on telly, avoid the issue, discuss anything other than the relationship.

I’m sure Sting’s a lovely guy. It’s just that nobody wants to be seen as that holier-than-thou thing. That over-earnestness is a bit of a problem with people in bands and celebrities or whatever.

Pulp existed for 12 years before we got famous. Now, you could say that was just lack of imagination, but it’s some kind of quality isn’t it? Tenacity. You could also say it was sloth.

I do write songs with a political dimension to them sometimes, but I’m always slightly appalled by it when I do.

There’s the famous thing that the A&R man from the record company is supposed to do: He’s supposed to come into the studio and listen to the songs you’ve been recording and then say, ‘Guys, I don’t hear any singles.’ And then everybody falls into a terrible depression because you have to write one.

You write a song about how you think at the time, and then gradually you drift away from that, and when it’s far enough in the past, that’s when you think, ‘Now I have to write something new.’

It’s good that I managed to hoodwink so many people. I am actually not that nice a person.