Top 35 Ellie Taylor Quotes

I have no maternal instincts.

If I see a baby, I don’t feel anything. It’s like Theresa May walking past a homeless person.

I’m definitely my worst critic. I guess that’s good because it keeps you on your toes.

I once hosted the Butcher Shop of the Year Awards. There’s nothing like performing to the personification of the phrase a ‘sausage fest’ to hammer home how you’ve hit the big time.

With social distancing restrictions in place, many are finding themselves isolated from their support networks and suddenly navigating parenthood differently than they expected.

My dad’s pretty funny. He’s funny for all of the wrong reasons. The first time I did standup at Edinburgh he sat in the front row and wore sunglasses because he didn’t want to put me off.

Hogwarts is comforting.

I feel like everyone could do with starting wearing SPF at least a decade earlier than they do, just for ageing.

Show Me The Funny’ was not very successful ratings wise, but the right people saw me.

There’s always someone out there being mean, but what upsets me is the spite. Why are you like that? Why are you so horrible?

I would like to go to the Oscars. I’m not even talking about being nominated – although that would be lovely. Even if it was I won a competition on the back of a crisp packet to go to the Oscars I would like to go to the Oscars.

I wear a lot of black, floaty things, but I’ve got lots of bright, flowery stuff, too.

I’m quite ungainly.

The high of a great set is better than anything.

I always showed off when I was a kid.

My sister told me: ‘You need to have a baby so that you’ve got someone to look after you when you’re old.’ And I was like: ‘Hang on – I thought that’s what the NHS was for? Unless the NHS is that screwed by the time I’m old, you’ve literally had to give birth to your own medical professional.’

I drink loads of water.

I’d like to be on ‘Graham Norton.’ Just because I used to do the audience warm-up for the ‘Graham Norton’ show, and I just think that would be a beautifully lovely, typical end to a narrative. I like a neat ending.

I tend to read quite serious things in order to try and appear superior.

The real pleasure of cruising is arriving at a new destination.

I did a standup show called ‘Show Me the Funny,’ so from that I got some TV stuff and people would book me for gigs. I wasn’t really good enough at that point, so had to catch up with expectations.

When I was younger it was people like Victoria Wood who I loved.

I remember I quite liked ‘SingStar’ for a while.

If you haven’t truly died a million times as a comic you haven’t gigged enough!

There was the phase I went through where I’d put streaks of red food colouring in my fringe as some kind of budget instant hair dye. Fine until it rained and I looked like I’d had a head injury.

Nothing gets a party started like some 110 per cent proof Ouzo from Kavos circa 2002.

I’m always in comfy clothes.

I was a massive geek.

I can’t drink anything after 9 P.M. otherwise I’m up all night.

Everyone knows the feeling where you’re in the pub and you make your mates laugh. It’s awesome, you feel like you rock. That’s what comedians want with a bit of extra ego.

I started comedy as a hobby with no intention of making it my career.

I was working in a day job in marketing but I had my sights on doing an open-mic night.

When I’ve been on shows as a guest, I’m backstage, so I don’t usually hear what the warm-up is saying, so I went and watched a couple of people do it and thought, ‘Actually, I reckon this is do-able.’ The audience is usually excited to be there; it’s just getting a good chat with people.

I was never thin enough to be a proper model and not big enough to be plus-size.

I was always the tallest. I was five foot seven when I finished junior school.