Words matter. These are the best Laurence J. Peter Quotes, and they’re great for sharing with your friends.
Going to church doesn’t make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.
The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls; the soldier details his wounds, the shepherd his sheep.
You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.
A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street.
Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.
Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.
The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure.
It’s better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.
Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.
Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.
A man doesn’t know what he knows until he knows what he doesn’t know.
Men now monopolize the upper levels… depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.
If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?
Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work.
If you don’t know where you’re going, you will probably end up somewhere else.
When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.
America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.
Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.
An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it.
Speak when you are angry – and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.
Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults, but if he has faults how can he be perfect?
If two wrongs don’t make a right, try three.
Don’t believe in miracles – depend on them.
Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish a reputation as an expert.
Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.
There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us.
Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.
A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.
Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.
Lead, follow, or get out of the way.
Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.
Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents’ shortcomings.
Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.
As a matter of fact is an expression that precedes many an expression that isn’t.
Democracy is a process by which people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.
