Top 45 W. Bruce Cameron Quotes

My philosophy on snow skiing is that there are less expensive ways to fall down a mountain. Yet every couple of years, I go on a ski trip for the same reason that women will have multiple children – they simply forget how much it hurts.

As to which is cuter, a puppy or a baby, I’m going to say that probably depends less on the particular puppy and more on the baby. I’ve seen pictures of me as an infant and consider myself lucky that nobody ever offered my parents the opportunity to trade me for a beagle.

My main characters are the most sunny, happy, optimistic, loving creatures on the face of the Earth. I couldn’t be happier that’s where I start. I can put as many flawed people in the dog’s world as I like, but the dog doesn’t care. Dog doesn’t judge. Dog doesn’t dislike. Dog loves. That’s not so bad.

The first cellphone I owned was hardly a slim, high-tech device – it was more like a brick with buttons, only with worse reception. If you wanted to use your phone to give someone a message, you were better off throwing it at him and hoping you broke his car window.

My body believes a famine is imminent and has begun stocking up on provisions. These supplies are being stored around my waistline. I’ve tried explaining to my stomach that this is entirely unnecessary: I’ve never once, not even when I was in college and more broke than the E.U., done any actual starving.

God invented love, and it is therefore perfect, and dogs are better at celebrating this perfection than we are. When in doubt as to how we should feel, we could do far worse than trying to live life like the dogs.

When you adopt a dog, you have a lot of very good days and one very bad day.

The story of ‘A Dog’s Purpose’ flowed into me a set piece. The entire book was just there, as if I were connected to a streaming service, a novel wholly formed of character and plot. This has never happened to me before or since. I prayed for help and I got it. A gift.

My dog’s name is Tucker, and his DNA is unidentifiable and suspect.

There are apparently three factors that lead to longevity: heredity, habits, and what your wife will let you get away with.

Without a dog, you’ll be without at least one creature who thinks you are the smartest, most decent and heroic human being on the planet.

3D printers give us what we’ve all been craving: another reason to talk to technical support. When you finally get the thing working, though, you’ll be able to print out your grocery list as a cube! When you look up directions online, you can print the map out on a globe!

I read that all dogs have wolf DNA in them, which seemed preposterous because my dog, Tucker, is… afraid of plastic bags blowing in the wind. I thought, ‘How can Tucker have wolf in him? How can this be?’ So I started researching it.

You’d think skiing wouldn’t be strenuous – all you have to do, after all, is start at the top and let gravity pull you to the dessert bar in the lodge. But at those elevations, you’ll find about as much oxygen as you’ll find kindness from your children. It’s like spending six hours holding your breath.

I know it sounds strange, but I’m one of those people who goes to a coffee shop to drink coffee.

Communicating with teenage girls is easy unless you’re an adult, and then it’s like having someone take a pair of pliers and, one-by-one, yank off your fingernails through your ears.

About the most exciting thing a baby can do is burp – I’ve spent hours of my life holding a baby on my shoulder and patting its back, trying to loosen up a burp. Burping was probably invented to give the father something positive to do, since our chests are not equipped to allow us to do much else.

For me, the most indispensable tool for wrapping presents is a wife.

Back during the most dramatic and challenging time in our history, when we first came together with wolves, we had no idea that it was changing everything, but we literally evolved together. Without us there would be no dogs, and vice versa.

My mother taught me to drive using the ‘Detroit Method,’ where speed limits and traffic lights are taken as cute suggestions.

Most of what happens in the world is far beyond a dog’s comprehension, so they must turn to their faith in us to help them navigate life’s treacheries. Don’t we, also, have unanswerable questions about the vagaries of modern existence for which the answer is beyond human grasp, so that only our faith can guide us?

None of the kids in the neighborhood had dogs. My dad walked in that Labrador, and we started running together and rolling around together like we found each other after years apart. And then, suddenly, some of the other people in the neighborhood started getting dogs, too.

My dog Tucker likes to walk late at night because it is a good way to keep me awake. Apparently, the one time I took him for a stroll around midnight represented, to him, a commitment similar to marriage.

I think I’m good at training dogs, but none of my dogs agree with me on that.

The loneliest, most down-on-his-luck person can have a dog who adores him. The most bitter, sour person can light up with joy when he sees his dog. It is magical, and as ‘The Dog Master’ reveals, it is biological – we evolved together.

We have enforced a Darwinian process on wolves, turning them into the shy and elusive animals they’ve become. They didn’t have that fear of us 30,000 years ago. We didn’t have gunpowder; we had rocks. Wolves would have seen us as lunch, and we were weak and slow and tasty.

I started writing in fourth grade and never stopped. I faked my way through high school and nearly was flushed from college – I still can’t pay attention – and then had a series of day jobs. But always, continuously, I have written.

I was an arrogant man. I not only thought I could manage my life without help, I wanted it that way. I had best-selling books and a TV show and movie contracts; I felt invincible, secure in the thought that everything was my doing. And then, like all arrogant men, I came to stumble.

With my book ‘How to Remodel a Man,’ I was on Oprah, Fox News, the Early Show, and Good Morning America. Oprah was the best – an hour long segment. TV is so short; you answer a few questions, and then it’s over. It feels like a hit-and-run with a camera.

During the holidays, I often see my sisters, who still, even after all these years, can’t always seem to agree with me. They take silly, indefensible positions, such as denying that my parents loved me more because I was the better child.

Throughout the day, my phone will variously chirp, burp and growl – it’s like living with a velociraptor. The last time I went to try to shut it off, the thing bit me.

My favorite ski slope is the kind that winds up at the cafeteria. My children, though, usually insist that I get out and take on a few expert runs, in a game called ‘Let’s See if We Can Get Our Inheritance Early.’

My parents live in the part of the United States that is Canada. It is so far north that Minnesota lies in the same direction as Miami. They have four distinct seasons: Winter, More Winter, Still More Winter, and That One Day Of Summer.

My younger sister looks to me to provide her with advice on how to do her job better – though she’s too shy to ask me questions, so I have to give her my opinion on an unsolicited basis.

The Internet has turned the world into one gigantic linked community, capable of instantly sharing vast amounts of incorrect information.

I see dog stories as an antidote to the dire news that nothing is ever going to get better.

I’ve tried several diets over the past couple of years – not because I need to lose weight, but because my pants are trying to cut me in two.

A lot of people think I am the one to turn to for dog behavior issues. I’m not. All you have to do is meet Tucker; you’ll know that I’m not an expert at training dogs.

I am a newspaper columnist and a professional screenwriter, but my real love is the novel for all the room it has for characters to come alive and breathe and face their challenges.

In my opinion, it has never been proven that food even has calories. When I bite into a hamburger, I see pickle and ketchup and bun and meat, but if there’s a calorie in there, it must be hidden.

I am stunned by how much time and effort I must spend marketing my book and interacting with my readers. With social media, you don’t just publish a book and figure you’ve done your part; your fans want to talk to you, have a conversation.

With a 3D printer, you could build your own car, one part at a time. When you were finished, you’d have an automobile that is extremely lightweight because it is made of plastic, which is good because you’d need to carry it because it is made of plastic.

Without a dog, no one will listen to your opinions for more than a few minutes without interrupting to tell you their opinions, which you won’t find nearly as interesting.

I’ve always been busy, but I wasn’t always successful.

I am an independent, strong-willed, free, and unfettered individual who lets his wife decide for him what he wants to eat.