Top 50 Patti Harrison Quotes

I don’t feel like I thrive doing livestream comedy, per se. It really triggers a lot of little neuroses that I have about performing and it’s not conducive to me to do a good job.

A lot of what I say isn’t my real thoughts, it’s this character, and maybe that’s true for a lot of comedians. It’s really the inversion of my thoughts.

That’s just my journey in life, to be the most creative and successful and talented person that ever lived.

There is this awkward discomfort when you’re doing comedy on camera because people aren’t allowed to laugh so that they can get a clean take and you’re doing the same thing over and over again.

There are so many rom-coms that I think are insane. But they’re the kind of movies that I put on when I need something that I know isn’t gonna horrify me before I go to sleep.

I don’t think I ever want to just leave comedy and become a straight dramatic actor. But if the opportunity comes, I would love to be seen as universally talented in all trades.

I have a concealed carry, so I actually have a few guns that I keep. I keep them in my big, giant high-waisted fashion pants at all times, and I have two small pink pistols because I’m a woman.

One time I watched my sister eat a raw potato with peanut butter on it.

We weren’t without food, but there were times when it was definitely a strain. I ate a ton of Hot Pockets and SpaghettiOs and Totino’s Pizza Rolls. I still enjoy those flavors.

Voiceover stuff is always so fun. It’s very easy to do.

I was super, super into Pokemon.

Truly, I have boundaries. I am someone who has a very, very, strong, amazing, powerful boundaries. I’m the boundary queen.

I think I have more fun making jokes online and making stupid Instagram videos than I do in my real life, on stage.

Coming out of ‘Shrill,’ depending on who’s directing, they’ll let you ad lib sometimes, you can pitch ideas if you have them.

My character was in ‘Raya and the Last Dragon’ for a second, but that’s a win for all trans-kind.

I didn’t know if I was going to go into acting more, or kind of lean into TV writing or comedy.

I try and be as vulnerable in my comedy as possible, to open that door for other people.

A lot of the stuff that I want to create personally is usually pretty absurd or silly comedy stuff.

I think a lot of me trying to blend in was me co-opting the racism that was used against me in a way – being OK with it.

I definitely have a dark sense of humor, and in ways I think that comes from having a lot of childhood trauma – a little bit, not fully.

I have to think about being transgender so much that it’s kind of the most boring thing in the world to me.

I feel like I’m just pretty – any time I have, like, a lot of emotions happening at one time, I just – everything gets really, like, muddy. Like, I feel just, like, in a haze or something.

I started doing comedy because it was an escape for me.

If you constantly draw attention to yourself, spend all day distracting everyone, and cost taxpayers millions of dollars, the perfect job for you isn’t the military – it’s the President of the United States.

A lot of what I think is funny is usually through some sort of character, or speaking earnestly one second and then saying something obviously joking.

Hopefully, we’re moving toward a place where representation conversations won’t have to happen so much because the playing field is more level.

I think I identify as a comedian before kind of anything else. Before I identify as a person, as a human being with empathy.

I know that I’m very feminine and that I can pass in a lot of situations, but I think a lot of people’s perceptions of me are also informed by my the pictures that I post online, which are as flattering as possible.

If Ohio was a food, it would be Benadryl. If Chicago was pizza, Ohio is Benadryl, or some sort of generic over-the-counter.

Animation has revitalized a part of my brain that says, ‘Oh yeah, I do like doing this. This is fun.’

I don’t like to eat octopus. They’re so smart.

The more money that’s involved in something, it’s usually because there are more hands involved. There are more interests to serve.

We need to afford people from minority groups and marginalized communities the chance to inhabit spaces they’re often held out of because of stereotyping.

I would say that I’m not a fan at all of Woody Allen’s.

I love coverage. My ideal dress would be a turtleneck that goes all the way up to my chin, and then sleeves that go past my fingers. And then the dress goes all the way to the floor, and you see the very tips of my toes.

I’ve thought about my relationship to my body, my body dysmorphia, and what that means as someone who’s like, ‘Oh, I’m going to be on camera.’ Sometimes it makes my body dysmorphia worse, but I’ve also tried to not let my mental illness rob the joy of getting to do something I’ve always wanted to do.

That’s always been really funny to me – someone who really stridently believes that they’re right when they’re so wrong in, like, the worst way. Not only do they believe that they’re right, but they believe that everyone thinks that they’re right, and are comfortable with that.

I mean, there are things that I’ve experienced that I don’t joke about because I’m just like, ‘People don’t really think it’s funny that I had an eating disorder for a long time.’ There are some things that just like really bum people out.

I literally never thought I would be playing a pregnant cis woman earnestly. I thought maybe I’d do that in a sketch or something.

Growing up we used to put Saltines in a bowl with milk and dump a bunch of sugar on it and eat it as cereal.

I want to make comedy that my mom will hate.

I want to see what my opportunities are, of course. And I want to see how high things go. But I also just ultimately have the most fun when I’m making stuff that I feel like makes me laugh.

I’ve worked on things before where you don’t really have a say in what you wear. You go in and they’re like, ‘You’re wearing this,’ and you’re like, ‘I’m like not comfortable showing that much skin.’

A lot of people tweet me things like, ‘My 3-year-old son is trans and you inspire us.’

And like, I think when I was 14, I was like, OK, I’m going to go to college. I’m going to get out of college when I’m, like, 21, 22, then I’m going to get married. Then, I’m going to, like, be, like, rock star-musician-scientist.

If someone writes a stereotyped trans character, it’s really harmful on a macro level in solidifying public perception of trans people because we’re such a small minority group but it’s also detrimental to the life of the actor, who needs the paycheck even if the role is bad.

My mom is pretty unimpressed by everything. She loves black-and-white movies, and the only things she watches in color on T.V. are Judge Judy and Geico commercials because she loves the Geico gecko. I think it would mean something to her if I made it in a Geico commercial.

I deal with body dysmorphia a lot, so it’s always a process to see and hear myself on camera. I have to be in the right mental mode to not be hyper-critical of myself.

I have seen a billion rom-coms, but the majority I’ve been hate-watching on purpose, to laugh at them and not with them.

There aren’t a ton of trans people in general, so in any vocation there’s probably not going to be a ton of trans people. So I’ve been thinking about what me doing stand-up or me doing comedy means in terms of representation.