Top 55 Sara Pascoe Quotes

If a bright-coated fundraiser was hassling a confused pensioner in the street, people would see, some hero would intervene. But it’s happening in living rooms on landlines, and it will continue.

I’ve been an actor since I was 18. So that’s my proper job. But I was not a very successful actor, if you consider being able to afford your rent successful. I did lots of old people’s tours; reminiscence tours.

Backstage at the Apollo isn’t a fun place to be. It’s a bit like a prison: small rooms filled with warm Diet Coke.

I did an open air gig in Regent’s Park and that’s an incredible venue because the sun sort of sets while you’re on stage and you can see the audience so brightly.

I have to remind myself that I am a comic, I’m not a politician.

Orange Is the New Black’ is the womanliest TV show that has ever existed. It doesn’t merely pass the Bechdel test, it gets all As and goes straight to Oxbridge, even though it’s only three years old.

The definition of comedy is ‘unsafe space’ – you can’t control what people laugh at.

People learn more when they’re enjoying themselves.

There’s nothing you can’t tell to an audience, because they’re all people who’ve had lives. The only thing they don’t want to watch is someone who’s really angry or out of control.’

I wore a padded bra every single day and night from the age of 14 until I was 31. Giving up padding was my New Year’s resolution. I had known for ages that wearing a stuffed bra was a form of hiding my real body.

I’m proud that I can do that material in a club gig where a lot of people think Page 3’s a bit of fun and you’re the feminist with the problem. It’s always funnier to say: this is my opinion, look how we disagree.

When I was a child, I had an intense fear of going to prison. I wasn’t on the run or anything – my crimes were small and they were all against fashion. But I had nightmares about accidentally killing someone, or being falsely accused.

With Netflix, we accept the democracy: not every show needs to be watched by everyone. And let’s face it, we don’t have time to watch everything. When will I sleep? I used to read and wash my hair. If TV gets any better, I’ll have to give up work.

I became a vegetarian at seven. I went on a school trip to a farm and loved the animals.

But with ‘Newsrevue’ I started doing some characters, and I just loved how you were in control. You could write something that day and go and do it that night, rather than waiting for a job that involves other people. So I did character stand-up, and then proper stand-up, and I loved it; I got addicted.

The love of Elizabeth Bennet and Mr Darcy is reliant on the restrictions of Regency culture, their passion is created by repression.

I try so hard to be tolerant of everyone and their choices, but people who harm pets or support factory farming have an enemy in me.

I want my funeral to be uncomfortably quiet.

When podcasts are in charge there will be no wars, just ears. That will probably be our motto, but in Latin. In our podcastian future, we’ll comprehend that each story has another angle, every case a contradictory piece of evidence.

A show that I loved as a kid was ‘Maid Marian And Her Merry Men’. It was a really strong female character making fun of the boys, an inversion of gender politics. But it was very funny, too. I always wanted to be one of the village people messing about in the mud and being stinky.

If we accept ourselves as animals, and have empathy and tolerance, compassion to others, understand that humans are territorial, aggressive and have gender aspects, then we can change things.

We’re all diminished and restricted by sweeping statements defining boy and girl, our expectations and disappointments with ourselves, the way we look, what we enjoy, and the choices we make.

I get a fizzy thing in my brain, like a nice glass of wine, and I want to know facts and I want to understand.

Culturally even, you have shows like ‘Friends’ or ‘Sex in the City’ that are imbibed along with like fairy stories, which are all about The One. Then we feel like we’re looking for it, and if relationships end, what we’ve experienced isn’t valid.

As an adult, my hero is my dog, Mouse. He is so friendly to everyone he meets. He wags his tail and loves everyone, like Jesus!

I was exceptionally opinionated as a teenager, never afraid to rant and ruin a birthday party or cinema trip.

So why don’t all religions get together and go to war with atheists? Because we all want the same thing: respect and tolerance and not to be forced to do anything we don’t want to.

I am very short-sighted but I don’t wear my glasses as they give me a headache, so if everyone could just stand closer to me that would help.

There’s social media where people’s politics are out there, they’re forwarding articles and seem engaged, but it’s only online. We tweet and pat ourselves on the back, thinking we have done something, said we’re interested, but it needs more work.

Comedy, surprisingly for a form that intends to bring joy and joviality, is always upsetting people. Jokes rely on broad strokes, stereotypes, caricatures, exaggerations and simplifications.

When I was at university, I did essays on political theatre. And it was really frustrating that the ideas weren’t reaching the people they were talking about. Standup is the one place where you are talking to every level of society.

When I go back to Essex, where I grew up, I’m still appalled by the homophobia and casual racism and aggression. I live in Lewisham, in south London, and though it might look a bit rough, it’s a diverse, friendly neighbourhood.

Since I was really small, my mum says I wouldn’t talk at breakfast because I would just read the back of the cereal packet.

Pride and Prejudice’ is set in the early 19th century. At that time, women had the legal status of children. A daughter was the property of her father until marriage, when her ownership passed to her husband.

Even quicker than the development of super-technology is the human adaptation to taking it for granted. We live in a world where regular people converse publicly with an inanimate object and escape Bedlam or a dunking.

Many of my memories of my mum are of her in the bath with a book, utilising her limited spare time by simultaneously washing and studying. She left school with no qualifications and now has a PhD. If I seem like I am bragging about this, I am.

The pancreas releases insulin to make you ready for fight or flight when you’re scared. So if you don’t fight or flight – if you stay onstage, telling jokes – then your body stores more fat in your tummy which makes you insulin resistant. All comedians have fat bellies, even if they exercise.

There was a girl I was best friends with at college; I always used to kiss the boys she liked. I’d like to apologise to her.

Worse than useless, I worry e-petitions are detrimental, with their sense of catharsis and mini-activism. Channelling away agitation, giving us the opportunity to show all our Facebook friends just exactly how great we are at being compassionate.

I’m always thinking about being inclusive in my sentences.

Call centres employ mainly out-of-work actors because vocal skills plus low self-esteem equals reliable cold caller.

Standup is a place where, as long as it’s funny enough, you can say your most embarrassing things, shameful things and disappointing things.

When I was 18, I moved out of home. I decided to try to be an actor, so took myself off to slum it with nine humans and a million mice in a red Leytonstone house.

Regency literature was too coal-y for me, too long-winded and describey. I preferred modern books where you had to read other books explaining what the first book meant to know what happened.

The only reason you would hate to be compared to ‘Fleabag’ is if you were said to be ‘not as good as Fleabag’.

No success will ever quench your thirst – my rich person’s therapist told me that.

Someone who didn’t do comedy might think it was awful to have someone talking about you. But I just love the attention, even if I’m not there.

Utilitarianism is a philosophy from the olden days exploring the idea that whatever is best for the majority is the fairest.

That’s the thing: when I listen on public transport, my headphones act as a separator – a wired barrier between me and the nearest people. Yet my podcasts drag me through the depths of human nature.

I don’t feel like a very feminine woman sometimes. I feel manly. When I was in my twenties I would say I was a masculine girl and now I realise the whole idea of femaleness is a construct. I’m a boyish girl, who talks over people and I do a boyish job.

My earliest food memory is being starving hungry after swimming. I think that’s quite common with children: the second you’re out of the water you want to have a Twix, a cup of tea and chips and salty stuff.

I get too upset by online criticism.

When I was little, I wore shoes that were too small for me for years, so my feet grew weird, so my little toenails grow and then they just fall off and then they grow again.

I honestly believe true happiness lies in lowered expectations. In opening the door to let the air in.

I was always obsessed with ancient Egypt, but any time you go back to wouldn’t be as good for women as now – so it might be a quick visit.