Top 60 Bernie Mac Quotes

I don’t think the people wanna see me play Clyde Johnson the architect.

My humor had changed from foolishness to making sense.

I can act. I’ve been acting for a long time, but like anything else, don’t nobody owe you nothing. You’ve go to pay your dues. You go from A to Z; you don’t go from M to Z.

I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I’d go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on ‘Laugh-In,’ Flip Wilson.

Stand-up is what I am; stand-up is what made me.

I want to speak directly to the audience, to say, ‘I’m like you – I’m frustrated, I’m not an expert, I don’t have a manual on parenting, I make mistakes, I’m selfish too.’

That’s the whole key to anything: Don’t be afraid to fail. And Bernie Mac is not afraid to fail.

You’re never going to see me playing a buffoon.

Bernie Mac is relentless. That’s one thing I like about him. He’s not PC. He doesn’t care what you think. He’s going out there to please that audience.

Fear is not one of my attributes.

I don’t have no story. Everybody wants this Hollywood story, but the world don’t owe you nothing, man. It’s what you owe the world.

I was born October 5, 1957, on the South Side of Chicago, in the Woodlawn area, a neighborhood that hasn’t changed much in forty-five years. Our house was on 66th and Blackstone, but the city tore it down when the rats took over.

Bernie Mac is happy.

I want to do something that people can really say, ‘Hey, man, that was good, I’m proud of you, I’m proud of that.’ ‘Pride’ and ‘Transformers’ and things like that.

Black audiences are hard. They always think they’re better than you. So you got to come with a little extra to satisfy them.

You know, every time it comes, every time that light comes on or every time that camera comes on, every time that microphone comes on, the Mac Man seek and destroy.

I ain’t running for office. I ain’t running for nothing.

I love who I am. I love what I’ve become.

I was a street performer for two years.

Like a lot of black people, I grew up straight po’. Wasn’t no question about whether we was po’, either. If you really wanted to know, all you had to do was look in our refrigerator.

I was good at keeping my mother from crying.

Why I was so intrigued with Red Skelton was because he was able to make you cry and laugh and the same time. That was power.

My grandmother always told me how you start is how you finish.

I want to have fun. Life ain’t no dress rehearsal. I want to have fun. I’m a comedian; I ain’t no politician. So everything I do is with humor, with love.

The one thing about comedy, making it become a part of you, the audience loves it, because you become part of them.

I’ve never been no superficial cat.

We’re so politically correct; we take things so seriously.

I’m an ordinary guy with an extraordinary job.

Bernie Mac is talented!

If I can tell someone a story that makes them bend over and laugh, that’s bigger than anything else.

I’m a big fan of TV.

You don’t see me in Los Angeles a lot. I go back home. Because I can’t play the game. I can’t – my tolerance – I know I’m getting old; I’ll be 50 this year. And you know how I know I’m getting old? ‘Cause my tolerance level is low.

I came from a place where there wasn’t a lot of joy.

I’ve been in training for stardom.

I’m funny. I’m a comedian. I’m not a clown.

I love my daughter, but there’s a certain feeling, a certain emotion when you got a granddaughter, you know?

I don’t need to pat myself on the back until my arm breaks. I don’t need any of that.

I want people to say at the end of my day, you know, like I used to say about Sidney Poitier and James Cagney and Joan Crawford and Red Skelton and those guys and Bill Cosby. They did quality and substance. You always remember them.

I don’t ever watch myself. By watching, you try to perfect yourself, become a robot.

I have Glocks, .45s, Berettas, Remingtons. I like the marksmanship and the discipline that it takes to be a gun owner. I like the machinery. Being able to take it out and clean it is even more fascinating than having the gun.

I was in love with a lot of people, because I was a student of the game of comedy – Carol Burnett, Jack Benny, Red Skelton, Jackie Gleason, Don Rickles, Red Foxx, Moms Mabley – who gets no credit, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, George Kirby. I loved them all, and I used to just take a page out of all of them.

My family are police officers, detectives. My brother Mitch is FBI. Mitch is like that – a stern enforcer.

When I go onstage, I want to relieve your mind, your pressures.

I hate to compare anything, especially while I’m promoting. I feel that’s another disrespect, but ‘Ocean’s 13’ is the best movie I’ve ever done in my life. No question.

I came up in the community center. I used to be physical director of the South Central Community Center in Chicago on 83rd. It’s still there. It used to be around there when I was a kid.

I have so much respect for what’s funny.

My comedy comes from pain. I can’t stand to see someone hurting.

When you’re offstage, that’s the footprint. That’s the man God’s gonna judge.

When I started in the clubs, I had to work places where didn’t nobody else want to work. I had to do clubs where street gangs were, had to do motorcycle gangs, gay balls and things of that nature.

When I hit my 20s, I struggled to make it. I got married at 19, and my daughter, Je’Niece, was born a year later. I worked blue collar jobs during the day and comedy clubs at night, and I was earning about $25 a year doing stand-up.

Every time you see a black romance, it’s over-the-top. There always has to be extreme hostility between the sexes. He has to cheat. She has to show him how independently strong she is, not just as a woman but as a black woman.

I get facials. I get a manicure and pedicure every week. I get my hair cut, and I oil myself down from head to toe. I got that from my brother. I was so impressed with how high maintenance he was. When he left the room, you could still smell him for an hour.

I want to play a villain – I can’t wait to play a villain.

It’s a pleasure to work with someone who is just as strong as you are.

I’m not ashamed to tell the truth about what happened in my family. I think that’s what makes my comedy different.

It was rough being dark. I got heat from my own people more than anyone else. I remember going to my mom and saying, ‘Why am I so black?’ And she said, ‘Because I’m black. You just gotta always work harder than the average bear.’

Jerry Weintraub, the producer, might be a pain in the ass, but he really knows how to treat his actors.

People like rumors. They’re going to say things like, ‘You was at the club with Lil’ Kim, and you and Kanye West got into a fist fight.’ You can’t get upset. You’ve got to keep hope alive.

I’ve always been a reserved cat. When I play sports, there’s people used to get mad at me because I didn’t hang out and things like that. I’ve never been that kind of person. Nothing has changed in that regard. I’ve never been posse, and all that. I’m a quiet storm.

I can’t build myself by beating somebody down.