Words matter. These are the best Ogden Nash Quotes, and they’re great for sharing with your friends.
Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.
I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.
People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven’t what they want that they really don’t want it.
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.
Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.
I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.
Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn’t it, of a long line of proven criminals?
I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I’ll never see a tree at all.
The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.
Commitments the voters don’t know about can’t hurt you.
Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.
Middle age is when you’re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn’t for you.
Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.
I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.
The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.
Too clever is dumb.
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
Commitments the voters don’t know about can’t hurt you.
Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
One man’s remorse is another man’s reminiscence.
I claim there ain’t Another Saint As great as Valentine.
Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?
The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
Women would rather be right than reasonable.
Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.
Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn’t it, of a long line of proven criminals?
Middle age is when you’ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
One man’s remorse is another man’s reminiscence.
Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.
The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
Too clever is dumb.
Children aren’t happy with nothing to ignore, and that’s what parents were created for.
The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.
If you don’t want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won’t have to work.
I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.
There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends.
Women would rather be right than reasonable.
Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.
If you don’t want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won’t have to work.
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up.
I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.
There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.
The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.
No, you never get any fun out of the things you haven’t done.
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up.
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.
No, you never get any fun out of the things you haven’t done.
Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?
I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.
Certainly there are things in life that money can’t buy, but it’s very funny – Did you ever try buying them without money?
Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.
Children aren’t happy with nothing to ignore, and that’s what parents were created for.
