Top 60 Tig Notaro Quotes

My mother was so stylish, but she never pushed that on me. She always thought I looked cool.

Luckily, I don’t think that I’m too famous. I can still live my life pretty comfortably. Fame has never really ever appealed to me. I think it’s easy to see that it’s not a great thing to have.

I don’t personally feel like I’ve dealt with any sort of discrimination or sexism. I’m not doubting that there might have been that going on and I just didn’t read it that way.

I try not to look at my old stuff or my new stuff, really. I’m not a fan.

It’s a weird place to be in because my dreams in life have surpassed what I could have ever imagined. I just hope I can continue to write stand-up, but I would say my big dream is to build an amazing family. It’s so boring and cheesy, but that’s my focus.

You can think you’re living in the moment and you’re thankful, but when somebody comes face to face with you and says, ‘I just lost my child,’ or ‘I have months to live, and thank you…’ I’m of course sad for them, but I’m thankful that I gave them a gift and they’re giving me a gift.

When I was first asked for an autograph, I felt so uncomfortable that I just wrote, ‘Tig’s Autograph,’ and from then on, that’s what I write when I sign my name.

After 2012, I thought, ‘Oh wow, I’ve lived through this, and now I have a free ride in life.’ And I can’t believe I really thought that. As soon as I was healed from cancer and everything I was going through, I got back out into life and realized it doesn’t work out like that.

A lot of comedians get a bad rep once they have kids and that’s all they talk about, and people are like, ‘I don’t want to hear about your kids!’ I’m like, ‘Prepare yourselves. That’s all I’m going to talk about.’

I was very into animals and nature, and really obsessed with cats and monkeys. I used to play in the woods, wander off into the woods for hours. I’d bring a clipboard and think that I was doing some work out there, following the trails of raccoons or collecting bird feathers.

I don’t want to take myself too seriously, thinking that I’m always having to be this cathartic, intense and deep person, because I certainly enjoy silliness.

People ask what my influences are, and for me, it’s not always obvious. One of my biggest inspirations was Chrissie Hynde from the Pretenders. That’s based on how she just does whatever she wants to do, and I love her attitude about everything. It bleeds over into my way of thinking and comedy.

In standup, you don’t have anything near you except a microphone. There’s something a lot more self-conscious feeling when there’s cameras coming in for close-ups. It makes you very aware.

Stephanie and I got married publicly on the beach, in front of friends and family, and the local police shut down the highway for us to cross the street back to my cousin’s house. Cars backed up for miles, and everybody in town cheered.

I failed eighth grade twice, and then they moved me up to ninth grade. Then I failed that and dropped out. My teacher would hand me a test, and I’d grade it myself with an F, then put my head down on the desk.

Before I had a double mastectomy, I was already pretty flat-chested, and I made so many jokes over the years about how small my chest was that I started to think that maybe my boobs overheard me… and were just like, ‘You know what? We’re sick of this. Let’s kill her.’

I’m not for everyone.

I’m always going to do whatever I think is funniest. If something’s dark, I’ll do it.

I was a full-blown tomboy; I was very mischievous and got into a lot of trouble. Everybody in my family smoked, and I started smoking probably when I was nine. My friends used to call me Huckleberry Tig.

People have responded to my stories so well. They come up after a show and say things like, ‘Your album really helped me,’ or ‘I have stage four cancer. I’m terminally ill.’ Somebody told me it gave them the courage to die.

When I’m not touring, I really don’t leave the house.

A lot of times, people will have after-parties or try and host an event for comedians, and they misunderstand us. They think it should be wild and crazy, or loud music, and comedians are typically pretty mellow people that just want to talk to each other.

The funny response to ‘One Mississippi’ continues to be that people don’t know what is true and what’s fiction.

As a kid, I loved Paula Poundstone and Richard Pryor. But my mother was a huge influence on my comedy.

I want people to talk about my comedy, about cancer, about body issues, about scars, because cancer, it’s a big deal, but scars are not a big deal. My skin healed. Relax, you know? That’s all it is.

It’s important that when you do standup, you do small places like coffee shops and also big places like colleges. It helps you find the little nuances in your set that don’t work, and you can shave off the excess.

My mom was a freethinking artist – she was wild and would do anything to get a laugh from me. She’d go in reverse through a drive-through so I could order from the window: ‘Hi, can I get a milk shake?’

Reminding myself that I have a tailbone keeps me in check.

I can’t waste more time worrying unless something surfaces that should legitimately cause fear.

I just absolutely adore Denver and the Boulder area. Having lived there several times, it feels like home to me.

I definitely still like writing one-liners, but I also think that I’ve changed a lot in that I’ve allowed myself freedom to grow.

There’s definitely been moments in my life, even recently, where I’ve taken chances or spoken up about something where I don’t know how it’s gonna go, but it is true, or it is my truth. That’s kind of that trusting life.

People complain about Hollywood comedians, but I feel like I selected a tremendous group, ones who aren’t fame-obsessed.

If someone doesn’t want me working their club, they’re not going to hear from me again. I’m not going to fight or complain about it. I’d rather go someplace else.

I want to be silly, and that’s being authentic just as much as being open and honest. It’s authentic to make weird clown horn noises when it strikes you.

I don’t thrive on misery myself. I mean, I’ve obviously created during a time of misery, but I also create from a place of joy.

I knew there was no Santa when I was, like, 5.

Basically I’m a female human being with brown hair, enjoy precision, reading the news, eating delicious food with my delicious friends and laughing at ridiculous things that don’t translate while you are desperately trying to make them.

I got my first guitar when I was nine because I wanted to be the fifth Beatle, even though they had already broken up and John Lennon died that year.

Comedy was a secret want, but it wasn’t anything I pursued.

I’ve toured around the world. I’ve worked with men, women. I feel like I’ve been unusually lucky to have supportive friends around me, and I feel tremendously supportive about my peers. I can’t wait to brag about how funny my friends are.

My career has always kind of moved forward and upward. I’ve never had anything kind of stall out or go in the opposite direction. I’ve always kind of been moving in the right direction.

When you first start out in stand-up and, probably, as any performer, you enjoy the attention so much, and even though that hasn’t died down on stage, it certainly has satiated whatever was in me that was needing that much attention. When I’m off stage, it’s not something that I really need.

Not many people have had as much bad luck as I have, but not many people have had as much good luck, either.

I think that people are going to think of me however they want to think of me, whether it’s female or gay or cancer or funny or unfunny.

It is that bizarre thing. If I had kids, I, of course, would tell them there’s Santa, but it’s also just an odd feeling to be blatantly lying to kids.

I’m not a religious person; I’m not even, like, a spiritual person.

I have somebody I admire and want to keep at a distance. I’ve had the opportunity to meet her a couple of times – it’s Chrissie Hynde from The Pretenders. I just am nuts about her, but I have no interest in meeting her because I just don’t think she could live up to what she’s been to me in my head.

I’ve had an ongoing fantasy about being interviewed on, like, a ’60 Minutes’-type show about this really inspiring woman that can do anything with a fake leg. And then the camera pans out, and I’m just holding a mannequin leg.

Even in losing my mother, beautiful, amazing awakenings have happened within my family. Of course, losing her is not what you want. The things that happened after her death, she would be so just beside herself with joy that life turned out that way.

I don’t ever assume that people are going to love or appreciate what I do. It would be great. I don’t assume that they’re not going to. I just am like, ‘I’m going to do my absolute best at everything I do, and I’m going to put it out with pride and hope people enjoy it.’

My favorite thing to wear from about first to third grade was a blue t-shirt with an iron-on monkey and the caption ‘Here Comes Trouble.’

Stand-up is very broad strokes, kind of a skeleton of a story or something.

Life can very genuinely and realistically pile things on. It doesn’t dole out the heartache and pain, or joy, perfectly.

Even losing my mother, I wanted my mother. That’s who you want instinctually when you’re having a hard time.