When I’m up on stage and do a joke, half the people interpret it one way and half of them interpret it the way I want them to.
I’m not the voice of reason; I’m more the guy using these offensive topics as fodder to raise tension in a joke.
And I liked pluralist Australia. I got a taste for pluralist Australia. I like, I like Australians and I can’t believe that they’re going to go to hell because they tell a good dirty joke, you know.
Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.
I don’t wear much makeup, except during work. I felt lucky to be chosen to be a model. I used to joke, ‘The next best thing to winning the lottery is having a beauty contract.’
When I’m writing the book I’m laughing at just how overblown the characters seemed. How full of himself he seems. But I didn’t get far enough in the series to really drive the joke of it home.
You’re under the gun at all times because it’s live TV. A lot of time, between dress and air, you’re having to come with an entire ending to your sketch that gets an even better, bigger laugh – which is terrifying… People are filing into the audience, and you’re writing a new joke for the end of it.
You might like it as a joke or because you liked it then, but there isn’t a whole new generation discovering Wham!.
My chicken ain’t no joke. I ain’t scared to go up against the Colonel, tastewise.
Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they’re down, and when they’re having a good time, I can carry on the joke.
I think it is childish for men to joke about women’s clothes, to make fun of our hats, to complain over the cost of a good fur coat.
When people ask me where I get my ideas, I lie. I tell them I draw inspiration from the news, the world, my dreams. Or I joke and say that I steal from other writers. I lie because I don’t know where ideas come from, and I’m afraid if I look too hard, they’ll stop coming.
I nearly got hit by a car while I was trying to write a stupid joke but a female sheep stood in the way. I can’t thank ewe enough.
When I was growing up, my mother was always a friend to my siblings and me (in addition to being all the other things a mom is), and I was always grateful for that because I knew she was someone I could talk to and joke with, and argue with and that nothing would ever harm that friendship.
Every vision is a joke until the first man accomplishes it; once realized, it becomes commonplace.
Laughter is binary: It either happens or it doesn’t. As each joke arrives in the course of a film, the cavernous space of the theater is either filled with joy and laughter or with the quiet of cringing embarrassment. Every time you step to the plate to make a joke, you’re going to experience one or the other.
Songwriters always reminded me of that kid at school who would go around with his guitar, like, ‘Yeah, songwritin’ man,’ looking wistful. That wasn’t me – those kinds of people put me off. In the early days, I’d write a bunch of lyrics and almost look at them as a sort of joke, to make the rest of the boys laugh.
The very phrase ‘Oscar night’ used to accelerate my pulse. For one thing – dating myself – it meant Bob Hope. He always had good, strong jokes, that faultless delivery, and always a new joke about his own films’ failure – once again – to be honored.
But I really like our experimental, performance and monologue videos, where there’s barely jokes in the video, where it’s almost a joke in itself that the monologue is even being recorded.
Cartooning is about deconstruction: you gotta tear something down to make a joke.
I’m not much of a joke writer.
I think you make better jokes when you don’t break logic for the joke, unless you make a movie just about jokes.
Some people will go for the quick joke and not pay attention to the consequences.
Tool of Communist agitators… it’s really a joke, isn’t it? Because, quite clearly, we are a party of real moderates. It just shows how little they understand.
There is a painful joke that Europeans often tell of their Gallic neighbors: God created France, the most beautiful country in the world with so much good in it, and ended up feeling guilty about it. He had to do something to make it fair. And so, he created the French people.
Whenever I walk off the golf course, I thank God that I’m able to tell a joke. I thank God I’m good at something.
I joke that a person of color would never make a movie like ‘Midnight in Paris.’ Nostalgia isn’t so enticing.
It’s funny, you know, growing up, you are always introduced to people as your uncle this or your aunt that or your cousin this. By the time I was in my 20s, I had no idea who I actually was or wasn’t related to. It’s kind of a running joke in the family.
I think for a lot of people, bowling is sort of a joke. But I love it, and it means a lot to me, so any chance to help promote it or celebrate it or not make the hackiest jokes – ‘Bowlers are like plumbers and they wear the craziest shirts!’ – I’m way into.
Paris and Nicky Hilton? Those girls will show up to the opening of a phone book. It’s like a big joke.
It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it.
Any comic is a very good actor. Look at Don Rickles. He is saying the same joke every night for 20 years and making it look like he just thought of it.
There is a joke that your hammer will always find nails to hit. I find that perfectly acceptable.
The Soviet Union represents a threat in terms of might. It is a joke in terms of its economy and what it has to offer the Third World – a laughingstock to countries that are looking for an economic-development model.
Some one is generally sure to be the sufferer by a joke.
Everything I say is a joke. I am a joke myself.
I never engage negatively with reviewers. If someone says something that enrages me, I do what I do on stage. I make a joke about myself and move on. Sometimes people say things that are manifestly wrong or even apparently malicious. That’s fine, too. It’s a response.
I’m probably the guy who keeps it loose around the room and tries to joke around with guys before the game, keeping things funny.
I take care of myself, which includes dieting, exercising and minimising stress. I joke that I’ve been on a diet since 1974, which is basically true.
Writing books is fun because after I do a show for a couple hours, I’m in a bus for 22 hours. It’s not hard for me to look out the window and tell a joke here and there.
The hoary joke in the literary world, based on ‘Dreams From My Father,’ was that if things had worked out differently for Barack Obama, he could have made it as a writer.
I always joke and say I want to invent a comfortable stiletto and then retire.
Following well-established national security screening procedures and accurately informing Congress about them is not a joke or a political game. It is essential to guaranteeing that our national secrets are protected and to preventing possible blackmailing of key administration officials.
Whenever we’re on the red carpet, we look like competition winners. It’s a joke.
My siblings would tease me and call me big friendly or freaky giant, and later, when I was approached about modeling, they would joke, ‘The BFG is gonna be a model? That clunky thing?’ They know how to keep me in check all right.
I sometimes joke that I can take personal responsibility for saving one million human relationships.
Some comedy has turned into, ‘Donald Trump’s bad, isn’t he?’ That’s a true statement. But where is your joke?
Everyone’s heard the same joke a million times and knows the setups. They are tired of the mass-marketed entertainment served on the networks.
In the India I was growing up in, history wasn’t really a wise career option. People would joke and say, ‘History’s okay, but what’s your actual job?’ I didn’t come from a privileged background and couldn’t afford to be irresponsible, so I did the pragmatic thing and did a MBA.
There’s a difference between racism and people making a joke about something. There is true racism going on, and people should be able to identify what that is, comparatively.
Cigarettes are an instant signifier in culture. It punctuates a joke, or puts that extra zing on a punch line. I like them as a prop. I think it can be really useful for character and texture and contrast and all of that.
It’s an old joke: All evil people in movies are British.
The real Pogba is the one you see every time. You know, when I’m on the pitch, I cannot act. I’m not an actor. So when I’m in the pitch, I like to joke and laugh, and outside the pitch, I’m the same. For me, I’m normal. I come and play football. I do what I love.
I kind of joke that creating franchises is a lot like directing pilot episodes of TV series. You set a look and feel and kind of pass it on.
As a comedy writer, I’m always praying for the day I can tell a self-aware/break-the-fourth-wall style of joke.
I don’t try to impress people. Sometimes my jokes can be very harsh; I’m very sarcastic. I would joke about something disgusting, and my agent might be like, ‘OK, maybe leave that behind for this one meeting. The burping? Maybe don’t do that.’
I’m not a yes person, whether it’s about a tie choice or a joke.
