Top 66 Limmy Quotes

I’ve said things on Twitter that I’ve said deliberately because I think they’re out of order, I think that’s the sense of humour that I’ve got. I like saying things that I think are terrible, because it gives me a buzz.

I was reading some Raymond Carver. I really liked how he did that ‘slice of life’ thing. Because I’m not much of a reader I end up finding out about these things a long time after other people.

You can get too involved with all the wee things in life, but the most important thing is you’re alive and well.

The very first time I did stand-up, that was terrifying.

I actually don’t have a lot of faith in comedy.

I’m alright with being disliked rather than trying to be perfect, because you get to relax then.

For me, in my mind personally and privately, there are no limits to comedy.

I think everybody in the world should agree to no care about anything. But we’ll all have to do it at the same time.

With my upbringing and where I grew up, people slagged people. If you slagged them, they’d slag you back… I know it pales in comparison to genuine issues that people have got, but I’ve had people slagging my stuff off on my blog and my website for years.

If I call myself an actor, it sounds like I’m trying to pass myself off as someone who went to drama school.

People are so quick to get offended.

I’m a pretty solitary type of person.

Some people don’t seem to be able to distinguish between humour and what you really feel. They forget that there’s a difference between what’s real and what’s a fantasy or joke.

A guy playing pool in a pub once said to me that they should put me on the telly. It went in one ear and out the other. But then I started thinking about it. I wondered how it all worked, did you have to be best mates with someone at the BBC who you went to uni with in Oxford?

People say what they think online because it’s not to your face. That’s a good thing. You don’t really want people just being nice to you with their opinions.

Doctors are just people and they can make mistakes.

Trolling can be a great way to engage with the world, a way to regain self-esteem and happiness, or, dare I say it, a way of life.

I think most people like a bit of freedom and hearing things that they might not agree with, rather than just having everybody shutting their mouths.

I find heartbreaking stuff really funny.

Actually, I just want to entertain people. Put that in my obituary, a final picture, all dark in the background.

I was asked before to go out on ‘8 out of 10 Cats,’ and I’ve been asked to go on ‘Question Time,’ I said to no to that. I don’t see myself coming across well on that sort of thing.

I tell people on Facebook what my Playstation user name is. It’s quite a social thing. I put the headset on and I’m just yappin’ away. It’s kind of like a sad way of socialising. It’s like meeting up with people but when you get bored with them you can just switch them off and walk away.

I felt I was a bit switched off for years, not really caring about things. I don’t know if that’s depression or whatever, but I was thinking ‘I might. Aye I will. No, I willnae’ as far as getting a second series goes.

I write in quite a simple way because that’s just the way I write. The vocab I use is quite wee. That’s just the way I talk.

I’ve never been an embarrassed, ‘never talk about their feelings’ sort of person.

In my own mind, I can joke about anything.

I think I called myself an entertainer on my son’s birth certificate. That sounds a bit Sammy Davis Jr. or Brian Conley, the sort of guy you just drop into a room and let them ‘entertain.’

I don’t mind people liking or not liking me. If you make something and then in the back of your mind you think it could have been a bit better, that can hurt a bit.

I love ‘The Twilight Zone,’ the original black and white ones with Rod Serling’s wee bit at the beginning.

I always wanted to get on the telly. Then see when I did, and there was talk about doing more online, Comedy Labs or iPlayer, I was: ‘Naw, naw, naw, I want to be On The Telly that sits in the living room and folk watch it together.

I think on my passport form I described myself as ‘entertainer,’ filling it in, in a Post Office or something. I felt like I should be doing jazz hands when I wrote that, but I don’t do anything else really.

The only thing I worry about over-sharing is boring people.

It’s almost like schizophrenia the way I get ideas about things that are not really happening and just end up focusing on them.

Being in somebody else’s thing and saying their words and not having any right to change it – I don’t know how I’d deal with that. I’d like to think I could do it, but I just know I’ve got a dead particular taste.

It’s fine if folk don’t like my sense of humour. But if somebody misunderstands, then that hurts a bit.

I’ve got a sick sense of humour, a dark sense of humour. I do care about things and care about people but there’s another side to me.

Once you get it in your head you’re finished with something, to go back, it hurts.

People who give off about fat-shaming and body-shaming are often the same people who talk about Trump’s hair or how fat he is, or how old he is. The size of his hands and his fingers – that’s the big one: let’s all have a big laugh at his hands.

I’ve just got a really sick sense of humour that’s separate from reality.

I think no matter where you’re from, you’re going to be laughing about stuff going on around you.

My maw died when I was 20. You tune into the radio or the telly and life goes on. Things keep on happening. The world doesnae stop.

My issue with all sort of social justice stuff and leftie stuff, and I would put myself on a social justice leftie side, is some of the terminology is jargon.

When streaming came out years ago I loved it. I loved having an audience, I loved chatting away and looking at a live chat and now on Twitch you can actually get a career at it.

I don’t drink anymore, I don’t go up the town and I’m not interested in events and parties.

I’m quite a hermit.

Sometimes there were certain things in ‘Limmy’s Show’ where I’d be having to come up with six episodes and as a result there was stuff in there that wasn’t my favourite and I’d think, ‘ach I’ll shove that in this episode.’

Going to a pub when you’re not drinking is pretty boring.

I’d never dance at school discos, I couldn’t believe people could show themselves like that.

I mean, maybe I’m alternative in that my stuff’s not mainstream, doesn’t want to be mainstream, could never be mainstream.

I get a lot of ideas sitting in the living room staring at the walls or lying in bed thinking about things.

I like some of my stuff not to be particularly funny. It’s supposed to be amusing, entertaining or thought-provoking, like a curiosity. If you put it on in front of 500 people in the Odeon they wouldn’t laugh. They shouldn’t laugh.

I don’t feel comfortable calling myself a writer or a director or an actor.

My name is Brian and I am a troll. An internet troll.

I’m always checking other people’s opinions.

Some people don’t like showing any deviation from normality, but I like talking about things like that, so talking about my mental health wasn’t a big deal.

I do like crossing moral boundaries.

I’ve always been a very open person, all my life, even at school.

When I was wee, in the middle of the summer, the big field behind the shops would be filled with dry grass and I’d get a box of matches. You chuck one match on that and the whole thing goes up in flames. Twitter’s a bit like that. You can just say one thing and it explodes from there.

I would rather there’s somebody who is just a wee bit down in the dumps believing that they’ve got depression and going to the doctor and getting it checked out, than not, I’d rather that everybody was given the benefit of the doubt.

I’m just someone who likes making lots of things up and trying to be funny. That’s about it.

I’ve said before I think the best thing about social media is that it brings people together and the worst thing about social media is that it brings people together. You’re assuming that the people following you know what type of person you are and what type of humour you have.

I’ve always had something a wee bit up with me, but I think it’s some kind of learning difficulty. It’s always been something.

My son likes Doctor Seuss books, but they’re right tongue twisters. You get to certain bits and you stumble your words and it makes you feel like an idiot.

Aye aye, I’m not one of these people that hate Christmas. Some people think it’s all fake, but I like that kind of thing. It’s like Las Vegas. I know this isnae really the Eiffel Tower and that isnae really the Statue of Liberty, but it’s just a bit of fun.

I think I was an alcoholic. There are all these grey areas about what makes you an alcoholic – you can’t cope without it, you stop caring about jobs and relationships, or you just binge.

I like wee arguments, I’ve never been into jokes. I’m more into strange things and madness and things escalating and things not really making sense.