Top 70 Charlie Murphy Quotes

I was a bodyguard for somebody I love. That’s not a good combination. I was always ready to beat somebody up.

I wasn’t drawn to comedy: it was drawn to me – from fighting in school to going to jail, then joining the military and getting into Hollywood.

Gangs are formed by kids who want love.

I protected Eddie. He never had to fight, because people knew who his older brother was.

If you don’t know things, you know, you just go by your instinct.

I don’t think I have any hobbies.

In the military, the reason you take the right path is they eliminate other choices. I needed that. They set me straight.

I’m an entertainer, period. I can write it, I can speak it, and I can act it.

You make shows, and you don’t go into it thinking, ‘Our show’s going to be number one’; you go into it hoping to stay on the air.

I don’t hang out with soft cats.

I bombed in front of 5,000 people. Anybody that’s ever stood in front of 5,000 people that don’t like them can tell you, it’s an energy associated with that. You don’t want to feel that. You ask yourself, ‘Do you really really want to do this?’

I don’t need to wait for someone else to get a bright idea and say, ‘I wanna work with this guy.’ I can do my own thing and drop it right on the Web and bypass you and your bright idea.

If the ‘Chappelle’s Show’ had stayed on, I seriously doubt I would have developed this fast as a stand-up comedian. I probably would never have taken stand-up comedy really seriously.

At the end of the day, when Charlie Murphy ain’t here no more, I’ll have a body of work that people can laugh and remember me by.

I’m always working, and I’m a single parent, so I don’t think I have time for stuff most normal people do.

If you can’t laugh at yourself, you don’t deserve to laugh at anybody else.

Other comedians got love for me. But don’t get it twisted – I’m not a clown, I’m a comedian and work hard as an artist. Clowns go to college.

What I’m pretty much giving you when you see me onstage is me; it’s not a fake character.

Comedy has bits, has jokes, has stories, and it has characters.

Nobody gave me anything.

I guess I must have a good metabolism.

Don’t underestimate the power of the Web.

If I want to be a real comedian, I can’t let you dictate my material, so I started creating more new material.

Most of my good friends have fights with me. Those guys know that I was in martial arts for 12 years fighting on the circuit.

Carolines is the best. It has great sound, you can hear from the front all the way to the back with the same quality. If you want to see the top comics, go to Carolines.

My whole life is a funny moment, man.

I look at the world and I find the funny in it, because there’s funny in everything. No matter how ugly it may be, there’s a funny way to look at it.

I’ve been called Mr. Eddie’s brother, but I don’t trip on that. Whether you realize it or not, that’s a sign of disrespect. If you address me, call me by my name. You can’t lower me or make me feel uncomfortable.

I went to jail for a year when I was 17. When I got out, my mother took me to the recruiting office, and I spent the next six years in the Navy.

I have people tell me all the time, ‘I was expecting you to be mean.’ Why is that? Because you saw me in a movie? That’s acting.

If I’m afraid of something, I’ll deal with it and get past it.

A comic’s like anybody else – he does what he does to support himself and feed his family. But if a comic says the wrong thing, there’s a chance the audience will want to take you down.

There are many styles of standup, but the comedians I like are people like Dick Gregory and Richard Pryor. Because Richard Pryor told the truth. Chris Rock. I love Chris Rock. He’s funny, but he’s also poignant. He’s not there just to make people laugh; he’s there to make people wake up, too.

I was always proud of my brother. He helped me tremendously, but we’re family, so we were never in his shadow.

Aaron McGruder is a straight-up G. I call him Champ.

I have a very good talent at finding out exactly what it is about yourself that you don’t like and then keep bringing it up.

My own son called me Eddie Murphy’s brother once. Once.

When I was nine years old, I was in a movie called, ‘Landlord’ with Pearl Bailey, Lou Gossett, and Beau Bridges.

I didn’t go to no school for acting. I learned it all by trial and error.

There’s only going be one Richard Pryor. You know how many came out after Richard Pryor and died trying to be compared to him? Or Bernie Mac? You got to be like you.

Most actors can’t write. Most writers can’t act. Most comedians can’t act. I can do all three, so why wouldn’t I do that?

Every barbershop has a guy who wrecks shop every time he comes in. He has the whole barbershop laughing. That doesn’t mean he’s a comedian.

Charlie Murphy has been around for a long time. I’ve worked with a lot of exciting artists, and it was a thrill to be around to watch them display their skills.

While I have been to Switzerland, Stockholm, and other parts of Europe and Canada, I don’t have a specific place that is my favorite. I just represent Earth.

People who know me know that I’m the last person on earth that wants to be somebody else.

One thing helps the other. My stand-up helps my writing; my writing helps my stand-up; my stand-up helps my acting. They’re all interlocked.

Don’t take people for granted.

It’s easy to go on television and say horrible things about somebody. And it’s cowardly.

I respect everybody. You don’t have to earn my respect. You earn my disrespect.

I feel blessed to be able to do my stand up comedy all over the world, because some people never even leave New York.

Everything was a lot more challenging for me because of who my brother was. If I were in the film, someone would had said that I got the part because Eddie’s in the film. If I wrote a script, folks would say that I didn’t really write that: that Eddie did and I threw my name on it.

Back when Sammy Davis, Jr. and Dean Martin were doing roasts, they were all friends. They knew each other’s children, each other’s wives, each other’s families. It wasn’t about being disrespectful. It was about being funny.

The audience is my hardest and best critic.

As a man, if you lose your wife, it’s a horrible experience, especially with kids. But when one person passes away and you’re still alive, people still depend on you – that’s what you have to lean on.

‘Chappelle’s Show’ was like the Tupac of TV shows. It came out, it got everybody’s attention, it was a bright shining star, but it burned out, and for some strange reason, it burned out quick.

My name is Charlie Murphy. I was born into this name, and I’ve been rolling how I’ve been rolling my whole life.

I’ve always had the luck or blessing that someone would say, ‘I liked what you did in that movie. I’d like you to be in my movie.’

I don’t like to go to regular, big stores – I don’t like to wear anything anybody else does.

When I first started, it was a dare. Someone basically said, ‘You’re a tough guy… but I’ll bet you won’t get on a microphone in front of a bunch of people.’ I was terrified, but I did it. Once I broke the ice and got onstage and got some laughs, I thought, ‘That’s not so bad.’

I don’t have beef with anyone, only martians.

When I first started doing comedy, I was 42 years old, and I was the brother of one of the most celebrated comics in history who made his name in the game 20 years earlier.

Before stand-up, I didn’t even have an agent. Once I started doing stand-up – boom. I got an agent. In fact, I got three agents. I got a lawyer. Now I get taken seriously.

My background is part of my comedy. Your experiences are where the jokes come from.

As the older brother, I was expected to make sure no one messed with Eddie when he went to the park. He didn’t have to deal with anyone saying, ‘I’ll get you after school.’

I would say I was an all-American teenager.

In the Navy, you’re around a lot of people from different parts of the country. They’ve got different accents, different upbringings. I learned to love country-western music.

I think I have had a remarkable and colorful life, so I decided to share it.

I didn’t want to do anything that could possibly tarnish my brother’s career.

I was into basketball, football, karate, boxing.

I’ve never felt like I was living in anyone’s shadow. My life was what it was.