Words matter. These are the best Josh Billings Quotes, and they’re great for sharing with your friends.
Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected.
Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.
The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.
Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves.
Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.
Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.
It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash.
A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates.
If you ever find happiness by hunting for it, you will find it, as the old woman did her lost spectacles, safe on her own nose all the time.
Don’t ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it.
I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.
About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.
There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.
Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.
If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety.
Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain’t got.
A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates.
The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
Genius ain’t anything more than elegant common sense.
The road to ruin is always in good repair, and the travellers pay the expense of it.
As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.
The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.
There is no greater evidence of superior intelligence than to be surprised at nothing.
There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can’t tell the truth without lying.
The trouble with people is not that they don’t know but that they know so much that ain’t so.
In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us.
Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can’t help but smile on it.
Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.
There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them.
Genius ain’t anything more than elegant common sense.
No one can disgrace us but ourselves.
Every man has his follies – and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words.
The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.
The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.
When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him.
One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.
Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess, and yet all the honesty in the world ain’t lawful tender for a loaf of bread.
Most people when they come to you for advice, come to have their own opinions strengthened, not corrected.
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.
Be like a postage stamp. Stick to one thing until you get there.
Take all the fools out of this world and there wouldn’t be any fun living in it, or profit.
It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too.
Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven; confess them to man and you will be laughed at.
Don’t ever prophesy; for if you prophesy wrong, nobody will forget it; and if you prophesy right, nobody will remember it.
No one can disgrace us but ourselves.
If a man should happen to reach perfection in this world, he would have to die immediately to enjoy himself.
There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins.
It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit.
You’d better not know so much, than to know so many things that ain’t so.
You’d better not know so much, than to know so many things that ain’t so.
There’s a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven’t the time to enjoy it.
Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.
Every man has his follies – and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.
There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.
There are two kinds of fools: those who can’t change their opinions and those who won’t.
Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain’t got.
Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
There are some people so addicted to exaggeration that they can’t tell the truth without lying.
I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.
Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.
The trouble with people is not that they don’t know but that they know so much that ain’t so.
Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.
Advice is like castor oil, easy enough to give but dreadful uneasy to take.
To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.
Life is short, but it’s long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.
One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs.
