Words matter. These are the best Jackie Mason Quotes, and they’re great for sharing with your friends.
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.
Predictions are preposterous.
If I’m a busboy in Philadelphia, then I have to be careful about what I say. But if I’m a public tycoon like Jerry Seinfeld, and I got a billion dollars in my pocket, he’s got to be nuts to wonder or worry about what people are going to think.
There is no way I would ever want to be president for a second. It’s much easier to make fun of them on the stage and get paid for it. With all the years of me lampooning the presidents in my act, I know I could never ever want that job.
I have always found myself trying to study and analyze the world around me – not just taking everything for granted and following whatever is popular.
If you wanted to hear politics, you’d go to Henry Kissinger; you wouldn’t go to hear Jackie Mason. The reason I speak about politics is because I know I can get a laugh out of it.
It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.
It’s no longer a question of staying healthy. It’s a question of finding a sickness you like.
I can’t predict the future and I don’t have respect for people who try to.
I have a great identification with Judaism as a religion and as a culture, and all the values that created such a great history, and the Jewish contribution to the betterment of all humanity.
Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant – even if they wanted to be one?
I don’t believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It’s funny because it’s ridiculous and it’s ridiculous for different reasons at different times.
I used to hear on the radio people like Jack Benny or Bob Hope, but I never had any interest in their type of humor. I thought that I could do something more substantially meaningful with significant, thoughtful, analytical reflections on real life situations.
I can’t pretend that I’m a great student of the art of comedy because anybody that becomes philosophical about humour doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
Every comedian feels out an audience. As you’re telling jokes, if they’re not laughing at this, you change the subject.
I am very proud of my career and that I’ve the health, thank God, to continue doing this for so long.
My comedy doesn’t come from any calculations and studies.
I’ve been watching politics for 35 or 40 years and you just never know. You can have one person win the Iowa caucus and then the whole picture changes ten minutes later. The same thing can happen again after New Hampshire. I have no idea what’s going to happen with our country in the future.
