Top 695 Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes: Embracing Laughter and Joy

The Power of Humor

Laughter is a universal language that brings people together, brightens our days, and adds a touch of joy to life’s journey. Funny quotes have the remarkable ability to tickle our funny bones, lift our spirits, and remind us not to take ourselves too seriously. In this article, we delve into the realm of humor and present a collection of hilarious quotes that will put a smile on your face and lighten your heart.

Humor has a way of transcending barriers and creating connections. It can provide a much-needed break from the stresses of everyday life and offer a fresh perspective on the absurdities and quirks of the world around us. Funny quotes serve as delightful reminders to embrace laughter, find joy in the simple things, and approach life with a playful spirit.

Words of Laughter: Quotes to Brighten Your Day

Throughout history, comedians, writers, and individuals with a knack for humor have shared their witty insights and funny observations. Their words bring a dose of lightheartedness and invite us to see the humorous side of life. Below, we present a collection of funny quotes that will bring a smile to your face and brighten your day.

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.

I’d like to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.
Bette Davis
There’s nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you’re insightful about it.
Dennis Miller
I used to stutter really badly. Everybody thinks it’s funny. And it’s not funny. It’s not.
Joe Biden
The human brain is a funny thing: it’s very susceptible to tempo and melody. You put the right words to it, and it becomes very influential.
Ray Stevens
I’m funny with food, even if it’s vegan. I like it well well, well, well done. I don’t want anything there that reminds me of blood. I get mine extra well done. That way, when I look at it, I’m like, ‘Okay, cool.’
Ghostface Killah
We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know.
W. H. Auden
Society is like a stew. If you don’t stir it up every once in a while then a layer of scum floats to the top.
Edward Abbey
Until you walk a mile in another man’s moccasins you can’t imagine the smell.
Robert Byrne
If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.
Clint Eastwood
A joke is just a paintbrush. It takes someone funny to paint something beautiful.
Andrew Schulz
I’ve always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they’re just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers.
Steve Martin
I like to play music, and I like to be funny, so I just do both at the same time.
Christopher Guest
The funny thing about cinema is, usually when they do a story that has African Americans in it, there always has to be a white guy who’s the savior.
Jim Brown
For me personally, I just don’t have anything to prove anymore. I know exactly who I am, I know that I’m intelligent and acting dumb or acting like whatever. If that’s funny to me because I know it’s false then so be it.
Emma Chamberlain
It’s a funny old world.
Margaret Thatcher
I do like dating cynics – they tend to be incredibly funny.
Chris Pine
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Benjamin Franklin
Thinking is one thing no one has ever been able to tax.
Charles Kettering
Why don’t you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?
Robert Benchley
It’s funny, I hear people say I’m faking all this science stuff. That’s the furthest thing from the truth. It’s literally what I have to do to play and perform at this level.
Bryson DeChambeau
The middle class is so funny, it’s the class I know best, and it’s the class where you find the most pretension, so that’s what makes the middle classes so funny.
J. K. Rowling
I think it’s great to see how they’ve grown up, not just as actors but as people. They’re still very much the same kids that I met many years ago. They’ve grown up and they are funny and wicked and naughty and bright, and I think as actors their work is just getting better and better. They’ve blossomed.
David Heyman
I thought ‘Borat’ was a breakthrough comedy, because it was really funny. It wasn’t some studio-produced script with 14 writers.
Steve Martin
I never said most of the things I said.
Yogi Berra
Johnny Rotten. He’s a big fan of mine. I used to see him out in the audience in England and he’d stand up and holler. He’s funny. Smart too, and a nice guy. Don’t think he’s a jerk because he isn’t.
Captain Beefheart
How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.
Emo Philips
Probably spending 12 years at boarding school – comedy became a survival gene. But I think some people are funny right off the bat, as soon as they can speak or be naughty.
Eric Idle
Hurried and worried until we’re buried, and there’s no curtain call, Lifes a very funny proposition after all.
George M. Cohan
It’s funny when people say, ‘I don’t think Julia likes me.’ Honey, if I don’t like you, you’re going to know about it.
Julia Roberts
I find what I do for a living really funny. I mean, acting is kind of a hilarious thing for a grown man to call a job.
Christian Bale
It’s funny, because when you’re younger you’re in a rush to be 18 or 21 or whatever. But then you hit 30. And now, the days go by like hours. You think, 40, man, this could be the halfway point. It could be the three-quarters point, you know? Who knows?
Mark Wahlberg
I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent.
Edith Sitwell
I’ve always found it easier to be funny than to be serious.
Molly Ivins
Maori get pigeonholed into the idea they’re spiritual and telling stories like ‘Whale Rider’ and ‘Once Were Warriors,’ quite serious stuff, but we’re pretty funny people, and we never really have had an opportunity to show that side of ourselves, the clumsy, nerdy side of ourselves, which is something I am.
Taika Waititi
He looks as though he’s been weaned on a pickle.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth
I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often – but I’m well preserved.
Rose Kennedy
I went to the University of San Francisco on an athletic scholarship. I didn’t study in high school. I was just there to get by and to play basketball. But a funny thing happened to me when I got to college. I got challenged by the work and the professors.
Michael Franti
The follow your dreams thing is really important because so many people are railroaded into taking other paths by their family, their friends, people who should be supportive going, ‘What are you talking about?’ Even just seemingly regular career paths, but if it’s not what people expect for you they kind of react funny.
Joan Jett
Cure for an obsession: get another one.
Mason Cooley
The funny thing about directing is that you have your own opinions, but it’s a collaboration. Directing is a group effort. Even though you might think something works, the smartest thing you can do as a director is try and weigh the opinions of the people around you.
Chris Evans
I don’t have a caustic sense of humor. What I find funny, that humor comes from a much gentler place.
Vera Farmiga
Funny is the world I live in. You’re funny, I’m interested. You’re not funny, I’m not interested.
Jerry Seinfeld
I’ve seen many female comics that a lot of people haven’t heard of who are so funny, and I saw them come up, and they were working so hard, and then all of a sudden they had a baby, and they just got tied up in motherhood, and eventually, they kind of just stopped doing stand-up, and I thought it was such a shame.
Ali Wong
I owe my whole acting career to the fact that I’m a singer. I went out to Los Angeles and auditioned for a TV show called ‘Fame L.A.’ The original role was for a comedian, but they said I wasn’t very funny, so they asked me, ‘What else can you do?’ So I played a singer.
Christian Kane
People like my voice, which is funny because all my life my family has joked about my nasal voice.
Sanam Saeed
A lot of men are competitive about being funny.
Arden Myrin
I love Adele. Adele is my favorite artist. She’s British. She’s funny. She’s just an amazing, incredible voice, and I love to sing as well.
Millie Bobby Brown
I find, when you’re an optimist, life has a funny way of looking after you.
Simon Sinek
There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world.
Jean Baudrillard
We need two kinds of acquaintances, one to complain to, while to the others we boast.
Logan Pearsall Smith
It’s so funny because if you tweet your lyrics and then you hear it in a song next week, you’re like, ‘Hey I had that same idea.’ I’m very secretive with my music. We have to send emails password protected. Because once that song gets out, you aren’t selling that thing.
Ester Dean
Funny enough, you know who I used to really like in Lion King? It was Scar.
Burna Boy
I’m so bad at dancing that I’ve actually been in two movies where the director of the film saw me dancing and thought it was so funny that in one movie they had me do it as the mental dancing of a real simple person. The other one was, like, to-be-laughed-at dancing. That’s how bad my dancing is.
Emily Hampshire
By making the gay character funny and sweet but above all normal, you make a far better, longer lasting statement than you would if you had an entirely gay comedy.
Sue Perkins
When you reminisce, you don’t say, ‘Remember that time you got sued by so-and-so?’ No, you say, ‘Remember when we played here and it was unbelievable, and we went out for that incredible meal and that funny thing happened?’ Those are the important moments.
John Petrucci
My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped into my brain.
Jeff Ross
The tax collector must love poor people, he’s creating so many of them.
Bill Vaughan
You know how old I am? I’m so old, I remember when Letterman used to be funny and it was presidents who were serious. That’s how old I am.
Rush Limbaugh