Top 20 Jack Dee Quotes

I really hated fighting people and hurting them, but felt unable to stop.

Whenever you’re in any acting role you are mortgaging your own character.

I really like rustic mediterranean cooking. And I like trying out curry takeaways.

Possibly I am difficult to live with, but I don’t bring my work home much. I’m either busy or not busy. And I don’t work from home. I have an office here which has a white wall. No view. I did try working in a room with a view but it was too interesting. Too distracting.

The book is called ‘Thanks for Nothing’ and it’s really the story of how I got into comedy and traces back every strand in my life that is relevant to that story. It’s kind of an autobiography but isn’t, as it stops about 25 years ago. It goes right up to the first time I do stand up.

If I’m pushed, I’d also have to admit I don’t like people with allergies. They just annoy me. There seems to be something far too self-centred about it. ‘No thanks, I’m allergic.’ Why not just say ‘No thanks’? I wasn’t asking for your medical history, I was just passing around the nuts. Trying to be friendly, that’s all.

And people are intrigued if I really am as grumpy in real life. People feel a bit let down if I’m laughing or smiling.

If I’ve inadvertently become some sort of role model for failed comedians, then it’s really backfired very badly on me.

I tried to be as thorough as I can, but there is a responsibility that we all have, especially with something like AA which is dependant on anonymity. Once you start banging on about it the whole time, you are potentially damaging the whole concept of it.

In many ways, not fitting in has been a comedic asset and a comedic resource.

I think it is more a cautiousness that protects me from enthusiasm about things. I tend not to get excited. People perceive it as a scowl, which is fair enough.

I have had issues with depression all my life, and it’s probably true to say there was a tendency towards it even when I was very young, during my schooldays. There was often – and this is quite common with comics – a sense of not feeling as if I belonged anywhere.

Mmmm… the comedy that matters is the comedy you pull out of thin air. It’s a bit like when something funny has happened and you try to explain it to someone else and end up saying, ‘You had to be there.’

There were a few teachers who just did not like me because of my face. Once, I was told to stand in the corner until I cheered up. The attitude was, ‘Oh, for God’s sake, what’s the matter with him?’ But it’s just a natural expression.

One of my friends went on a murder weekend… now he is doing life for it.

The good thing about ‘Have I Got News For You’ is it’s a compact show but it still gives everyone space to breathe, and everyone always gets a chance to say something if they want to. It’s a very difficult show to dominate, and guests who come on and dominate always fall foul.

I don’t think anyone’s particularly conscious of thinking suits are the thing, but when you see a comedian on stage in jeans and a t-shirt it doesn’t matter how good they are – it always looks like amateur hour when they walk onto the stage.

The rain forest has Sting. Now Siberia has Jack Dee. Someone had to draw the short straw. In this case it was the rain forest.

I don’t like men who blow-dry their hair. If you are a man and you blow-dry your hair, then I don’t like you and that’s all there is to it.

I spent the first 25 years of my life not knowing what I wanted to do.