Words matter. These are the best Jasper Carrott Quotes, and they’re great for sharing with your friends.
The impact of T.V. on our lives in general gets most things out of proportion.
I just felt that ‘Golden Balls’ was the right thing to do. I didn’t care if people thought I was a failure.
There is no way in my right mind I would contemplate running 26 miles-plus unless it involved a chase with Pamela Anderson.
My heart was always in my mouth when I started on a new routine.
Having signed a few autographs in my time, I always wonder what the heck people do with them.
I want to do things I enjoy, and show business comes fifth or sixth down the line.
Celador always ask me to do their shows, and I turned down ‘Millionaire.’ I couldn’t have done it as well as Chris Tarrant, or at least I couldn’t have done it any better.
There’s a rumour going ’round that if you amass a certain number of penalty points on your driving licence, the authorities will make you take your test again! Now, if ever there was an incentive to drive carefully, they could not have threatened a more terrifying ordeal.
Happiness to me is simply not being unhappy.
My real name is Bob Davis, but for some reason, I got the name Jasper while playing football at the local rec when I was nine years old, and it just stuck. Years later, when someone asked ‘Jasper who?’ I just said ‘Carrott’ – but I have no idea why I came out with that particular word.
I have a very happy marriage and friends who keep my feet on the ground. But looking for satisfaction in life is difficult. Maybe being happy is as simple as not being unhappy.
I am amazed at radio DJ’s today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for.
If I were to ask you who the first million-pound show winner was on British TV, you’d probably go for Judith Keppel. She was, indeed, the first ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’ contestant to win £1 million, but the first one on TV was actually Clare Barwick, who won £1 million on Chris Evans’ show ‘TFI Friday.’
When I hit the scene, there was Billy Connolly and Max Boyce. It was all mother-in-law and Irish jokes, and we broke the mould. Now there are thousands of comedians out there, and I don’t think I can be above it all.
I’ve played with some very famous bandits in my time on the celebrity golf circuit.
I have that working class fear of having nothing. I’ve always got one eye on what’s in the bank.
Touring has been a major part of my career. I’ve done a lot of huge shows, including a 13-night sell-out stint at the Indoor Arena in Birmingham, playing to a total audience of 65,000.
I have realised that my time has come and gone. I’m not bitter, just a realist.
My driving habits are so ingrained that the driving examiner would fail me in the first mile. That’s provided he hadn’t died of a heart attack by then.
I was never the class clown, and I’ve no idea where the comedy came from.
When you’re six years old, the word ‘poo’ is the funniest word on God’s earth, but this insults my intelligence.
I should be more vocal about the things I believe are doing us harm, but many years ago in my early twenties, I learned a bit of a lesson. I started to realise at that time the benefits of eating healthy food and drink.
