Words matter. These are the best Jeff Garlin Quotes, and they’re great for sharing with your friends.
Whenever I meet someone who’s talented, I always want to write something for them!
I like independent movies, documentaries. There’s not a lot of movies that are commercially made that I dig.
I felt very comfortable about myself when I was much heavier. I feel much better about myself from being fit.
I do love directing. It’s probably my favorite thing that I do.
Directing is really my favorite thing to do, but if I never directed again, I’d be okay if all the work I did was good.
I’m from Chicago and it’s a huge influence on me.
Certainly early on, I kind of modeled myself after Steve Martin and Bill Murray. I would imitate them sometimes.
I hate cellphones. They are not for good, they’re for evil. They’re for gossip.
Acting’s fine if the script’s written by Paddy Chayefsky and Martin Scorsese directs it, but unless you have something like that, I don’t really enjoy acting.
I like raconteurs; I like conversation. I liked the ‘Tonight Show’ when it was 90 minutes, I like when people aren’t plugging things per se, and they’re just in the moment being interesting.
Parents have got to chill out. Let your kid eat dirt – they’re gonna be fine!
When you see a bad romantic comedy, you see the script, the director, and the actors trying to create this warmth and this pathos and this feeling that you care about them. That cannot be manufactured – it’s either there or it isn’t.
The only thing that I demand of the audience is that they listen to what I’m saying. Other than that, they owe me nothing. They don’t owe me a thing.
Forget ‘full of myself,’ I’m not remotely impressed with myself.
I don’t think I’m ever going to retire from stand-up, but what I have retired from is working the road every week.
My kids have played soccer and baseball and basketball, and the parents who come to games are always saying and doing things that are just wildly inappropriate.
I’ve avoided doing network shows because I don’t think they’re true to real families.
There’s only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you differently if you can make them laugh.
First off, I don’t do self-deprecation comedy based on being fat. I would always talk about it honestly. Secondly, I don’t care how much I weigh.
Comedians sometimes forget that there’s an audience. You gotta be conscious that you’re performing for other human beings.
In my stand-up, I generally improvise from an outline.
I never analyze stuff with comedy because it’s boring. It makes you stop being funny. Just be who you are and do what you do, and you’re either funny or you’re not.
Why do I want to be challenged or have challenges? That’s why I don’t go climb mountains.
As an individual doing a podcast, you don’t get even remotely rich. It’s not something to do for money.
I’m totally comfortable not being as funny as Larry David.
