Words matter. These are the best Kurt Braunohler Quotes, and they’re great for sharing with your friends.
I was writing this really long joke about the smell of poop, and I was like, ‘What am I doing with my life?’ I started to think about why I was a comedian, and then I came up with a reason for existence, which is: inserting absurdity or stupidity into strangers’ lives in order to make the world a better place.
It is true that I do not wear shoes as the host of ‘Bunk.’ I want ‘Bunk’ to feel like there’s a slight possibility that a confident homeless man just wondered into the studio and started hosting a game show.
When I moved to New York at 22, I didn’t know what I wanted to do. I took an improv class, and the first scene I did, I felt like ‘I want to do this for the rest of my life.’ It was the first time I ever felt like that about anything. I tried to make a living off improv.
For people who mourn for old Times Square – hey, there’s a ton of places in the city still like that! Get on the train and go visit them!
Every day I do one or two podcasts that 92 percent of people never will hear. I’m constantly producing, constantly making jokes for Twitter. There’s a lot of pressure there. On the flip side, I think having to produce like that makes you a better comedian.
My parents got divorced when I was 2, so I have this weird thing where I have 8 brothers and sisters, but I am also an only child.
So much of existence is so boring. To have little moments of stupidity is always welcome.
For a long time, I dressed like an idiot. In college, I had a fully shaved head with just two horns. Like, a coxcomb of hair that I would sculpt into two horns. I looked like a crazy person.
In doing my podcast, I do find that I tend to try out bits that I then try on stage later that day. If they work, great, and if they don’t, I regret having talked about it on the podcast.
People have said that to me: They say I have a TV face.
You don’t become a fully-formed human as a female, or even a male, until you’re at least 30.
I go on Wikipedia and alter pages of animals with fake facts that I’ve made up about those animals.
Auditions are just torture. I’m trying to get better at it. It’s a very difficult thing to do. You go into a tiny room with a camera with somebody who is doing this with 100 other people, and they’re so bored, and then you have to be like, ‘Hey! I’m gonna show you what I got!’
I think we get stuck in routines so easily that when an absurd moment in life seems to be there for no reason, it wakes you up out of your everyday pattern. You pull back and look at life a little bit wider because of that one weird thing you weren’t expecting.
Everyone wants something that’ll appeal to, like, 13-year-olds to 18-year-olds. Especially working in television and trying to pitch shows, they’re like, ‘We definitely want something that a 14-year-old will be, like, super-psyched about.’ And I’m like, ‘I don’t know if my reality is appealing to a 14-year-old.’
I want to continually find ways to bring my ideas off the stage and into the real world, into the streets. I think I can make the world a better place, if only for a little while.
Who would want to get back together with Taylor Swift after having dated her? I’m sure dating her is like talking to a white sheet of paper with a little bit of vanilla ice cream on it that doesn’t say anything.
It is an intern’s job to go for coffee for anyone who asks, preferably delivering it scalding hot and cupped in your bare hands!
There’s this secret Korean taco/cupcake truck I go to. To find it, you have to bring a hard-boiled egg to this deli in Bushwick where they give you the address.
The feeling of being an outsider was a big part of my childhood. I think that helps comedians. That feeling of being an outsider. That desire for a perspective that’s all your own. The idea for me to make stuff myself with my own meaning came from that as well.
For a really long time in my life, I fought against how I look. Because I was raised Catholic in school, where everyone had to wear a suit and tie. I hated everything that stood for. And I realized when I walked down the street, everyone would see the guy I hated and not the guy I was.
For a long time, I would go out of my way to have a personal appearance on the verge of an insane person, because it was closer to how I felt, but I looked so dumb. So, I just stopped. It was like, ‘I’m just going to look like a banker.’
It’s amazing how much people talk about colonics here. That’s not a thing anywhere else in the country. But I totally did a juice cleanse, I did a colonic – I’m getting into L.A. living!
There are a billion songs that I’ve heard and said, ‘I don’t even care to have an opinion about it,’ but if I have to hear a snippet of the refrain of ‘We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together’ once, it’ll get stuck in my head, and that drives me crazy.
I pushed against doing a podcast for so long. I’m a very late comer to the podcast game. But you’re responsibility as a comedian is to get your viewpoints out into the world, and we have a lot more avenues to do that. So it’s a lot more opportunity, but really have to work all the time.
