Top 25 Marlon Wayans Quotes

I had to do the full body shave for the first coupla weeks of ‘White Chicks,’ then I said, ‘You know what? I’m just gonna be a hairy white chick ’cause this is too much!

Comedy is very hard, but you have to learn the art and science of it.

So, I was sitting there and I watched ‘Paranormal Activity’ and I was like, ‘Boy, white people do dumb stuff in movies.’ So I was like, ‘Why don’t they just leave the house… What if paranormal activity happened to a black couple?’

I got caught stealing when I was a kid from the local bodega right across the street from where we lived. I tried to steal a big bag of Red Hot Dollars. And I swear, I was about 7 years old and the bag was bigger’n me.

With parody, you’re referencing and sending up a particular genre, and mostly your material is going to be taken out of that genre.

Let me tell you, Barack Obama is the most down dude in the world, but he’s so smart; so articulate, such an amazing speaker; such a passionate man. He’s humble.

Humor helps ease the tension of race and the differences in society. If there wasn’t comedy I don’t know if Obama could have ever become president.

There are so many things to talk about between black people, Hispanic people, white people, gay people, men, women, it’s all based on fear. We all have fears, this thing that stops us from embracing as we are one. We are never going to be one. People are messed up, but humor lets us see how ignorant we can be.

I’d like to see a ghost. It would confirm there’s an afterlife.

If you could cross a lion and a monkey, that’s what I’d be, because monkeys are funny and lions are strong.

I like All Saints. They make great leathers. I love Hugo Boss, especially the suits. I like James Perse for T-shirts, and Supra and Radii for sneakers. And God Is in the Details.

There’s a certain level of comfort that comes when you move in together. The mystery is gone. She starts dressing for bed in your pajamas, cream on her face, Uggs, curlers. What happened to the sexy girl that used to come to bed in lingerie? The girl says, ‘We don’t need to act.’

If I read something great and I want to go after it, I go after it. You don’t wait to see what Hollywood wants to do with you. You decide what you want to do. I don’t mind fighting when I really want something.

‘Paranormal 1’ scared me because I didn’t know if it was real or what. ‘Blair Witch’ was kind of scary for the same reason. It takes the voyeur element away and makes you think, ‘Oh crap, this could really happen to me.’

I think family is key, and if you have love for family, then you have love for others – and you have unity as a people.

Sometimes they try to put you inside a box, but I look at my filmography and I’ve been able to do a lot.

Success is not a destination, but the road that you’re on. Being successful means that you’re working hard and walking your walk every day. You can only live your dream by working hard towards it. That’s living your dream.

My sister Kim is like Lucille Ball. She’s magical in terms of her performance and her writing.

I was going to be valedictorian in elementary school, but I got into too many fights, and they made me salutatorian. I was smart back in the day. Now I’m just an idiot.

I got written out of ‘G.I. Joe’ and was like, ‘Welp, I’m going to go back to what I do: writing and producing comedy.’

You need to be lucky in life, but it’s also what you do with your luck.

I like to work and there’s no movies for actors, period, especially black actors. When white actors are like, ‘Man, there’s no work out there,’ then black actors are like, ‘Are you kidding me?’

People don’t understand how much time and work it takes to make somebody laugh, and how hard it is to write a script, to put together the story, the characters. When everyone laughs simultaneously, there’s no greater feeling.

I used to watch all my friends play with G.I. Joes. I couldn’t afford them.

I’ve never really lived with somebody. Only for very brief periods. I learned I’m not a good roommate. I’m better off when we visit each other. I like the mystery.