Words matter. These are the best Andy Kindler Quotes, and they’re great for sharing with your friends.
Very unique: I was a singer-songwriter-guitarist. Very unusual in the late Seventies to find a singer-songwriter, and on top of that, a guitarist.
The cliche that comics always use is that whatever is happening in the news is ‘the gift that keeps on giving.’ I always thought that was a bunch of nonsense.
I even get tired performing standup, which is normally a low-impact exercise in futility but looks hard the way I do it. That’s why I take a lot of breaks, often stopping in the middle of a joke to catch my breath, or blame the crowd for not laughing before the punchline.
You tell me that ‘Date Night’ was good? I’m not going to see it. I will debate you on it, having no knowledge of the footage in the film. I was next to someone on the plane watching it, and they were dozing off.
I’ve never been paid as a prognosticator. I don’t get a lot of work as a mentalist.
I’ve always felt that there’s a Catskills comic who lives in my head and is constantly trying to get out. There’s all these jokes that have been passed down from Jewish generation to Jewish generation, which I love but which I’ve always made fun of.
I’m not really in Louis CK’s circle. It’d probably be harder if we were really close and I went off on him.
I have a true love for the old style of Catskill comic. There’s a joy in discovering a bad joke… and then there’s the joy of delivering it like, ‘Isn’t this a hacky joke?’
I feel completely fearless when I’m on stage. And also totally fearful. There’s the fear that I’m not making a very smart career move sometimes, but there’s the stronger belief that these things need to be said.
I don’t hate Dane Cook, but I am trying to go after people I think are capable of more.
I always had a tremendous amount of rage about the business, and I thought turning that into comedy was healthy.
Can we all admit that ‘Parks and Recreation’ is horrible? Is this something we would all know, but don’t say? Maybe everything should not be improv’d.
When I started out in the late ’80s, my act was pretty terrible, and for years, I kind of toiled in obscurity. I don’t believe in a hierarchy in comedy; I feel that a person deserves respect the first time they get onstage, and after that, they just have to be funny and get more consistent.
The Comedy Bar is an intimate club, which I prefer. I refuse to play theatres, because large empty spaces make me nervous, and I don’t enjoy the echo. I’m no sell out. Literally.
George Lopez is always on the verge of hilarity. If he could ever think of something funny to say, if he had a funny thought in his mind, he’s ready to go.
There are so many people who just want a flashy object in front of their eyes and don’t want to think at all; I find that disturbing.
I’m still doing what I’ve always wanted to do, and how big it gets or how much money I make for it or how popular I am in the public’s eye is really not that important, even though it’s hard to let that go.
I don’t know what Tracy Morgan does onstage, but I can assure you, it’s no act.
When did I start comedy? I came out of the womb and did 10 minutes.
I don’t enjoy writing newspaper articles any more than people like reading them. I’m a standup comic, not a journalist, although sometimes onstage I will say: ‘What else is in the news?’ Writing is work, which I’m not comfortable with.
I will say that I wasn’t susceptible to Tony Robbins-like pitches, even as a younger man.
My big fear is that I’ll put down so many people, I’ll have to leave show biz.
Sometimes things can be a guilty pleasure, but with ‘Idol,’ everyone talks about it like it’s a real thing; they argue over who’s gonna win… There’s no laughing at it.
Jimmy Fallon is handsome. This is an indisputable fact.
I would like Albert Brooks to have received the Oscars for best actor, best director and best screenplay for ‘Modern Romance.’ I love that movie.
I sold door to door for a couple years. As the years recede from the event, I remember less about it, which is probably good for my mind. It was home improvement in Cerritos California, Buena Park, that area.
I’m not trying to do anything except entertain America.
My goal is to be exactly how I am offstage – although I realize I’m supposed to punctuate it with jokes.
In the ’90s, comedy was at a very low point, but these days, you’ve got people like Hannibal Burress, Ron Funches, Maria Bamford – people who can play any club, anywhere.
I’ve sold a lot of different product. Very briefly, I sold Time Life Books on the phone.
