Top 30 Jeff Dunham Quotes

A comedian needs to have his own filters, needs to know his audience, how far he can push things.

There are not that many ventriloquists out there who build their own characters. I love that because they are uniquely mine.

I’m a pretty good ventriloquist, but it’s the entertainment value and the laughs that keep people sitting there and wanting more.

I try to make the majority of my audience laugh.

My parents never discouraged me. There were a couple times when my dad criticized a couple things that I did, but it was nothing. So through the bad shows, I never wanted to quit.

I had a happy, dramafree youth, growing up in an upper-middle-class neighborhood in Dallas, Texas. The only thing that was slightly unusual compared to most of my friends was that I was an only child… I don’t think that’s why my parents gave me a dummy, at least they’ve never copped to it.

But the mechanics of learning to ‘throw your voice’ are pretty simple. Anyone with a tongue, an upper palate, teeth, and a normal speaking voice can learn ventriloquism.

I’m guilty of being fascinated by gadgets and toys and technology, but any penny that I spend, I try to make it be a part of what I do for a living. Because then you are forwarding. You are forwarding that art, forwarding that career ahead.

The magic in performing as an entertaining ventriloquist happens when the characters come to life and the interaction between the separate personalities on stage becomes ‘real.’ Then don’t forget that the act has to be funny, and to me, being funny and entertaining any given audience is more important than anything.

I’ve always said that instead of watching a guy juggle seven things amazingly I would rather see a really bad juggler who’s really funny.

I think all the garbage in the world is thanks to a very small handful of idiots.

I’m a geek to the bone.

Stand-up comedy is tough right now. Anybody can come to a concert, tape you, and put you up on the Internet. You either fight it or embrace it.

When I was in third grade I taught myself ventriloquism… What’s hard is to learn to be an entertainer and make people laugh. I was a few years out of college before I felt I had enough material. Then in 1988 I moved to L.A. and started to do some shows at comedy clubs.

I think maybe one reason why ventriloquists are looked down on is because it’s very difficult to be funny. I think what happens is that people get a dummy, they learn the technique of ventriloquism, they memorize the script, they think they’re in show business.

The best place to find material is in real life. I’ve always maintained that it’s not until the mid-20s that you have enough of a life to draw from. There’s nothing better for a comic than to go through some bad stuff – and some good stuff, like getting married.

Family time was very difficult when my girls were little, but I never missed a birthday; I was there for every major event.

I honestly go back and forth in my head about using advanced and innovative technologies for creating my characters. There’s something more ‘real’ and charming when the characters aren’t perfect. It’s the difference between anything that’s built by a computer and machine versus the same thing being made by hand.

I’ve never been truly hammered… Never. Not even in college. I was too busy driving or flying away on weekends doing shows around Texas and the country.

As humans we like to laugh at our fears, we like to whistle in the dark.

I try to make the majority of my audience laugh. That’s my audience. They’ll laugh at the dead terrorist.

I was a shy little kid, and getting up in front of people and making them laugh and being able to carry on a dialogue rather than a monologue was something that was pretty interesting to me because you could set yourself up – you could ask a question and then answer it.

There’s some sort of unspoken license… when outlandish things come out of an inanimate object, somehow it equals humor.

When I was eight years old, I got a dummy for Christmas and started teaching myself. I got books and records and sat in front of the bathroom mirror, practising. I did my first show in the third grade and just kept going; there was no reason to quit.

Growing up, I thought it would be great if I could do big theaters. Now we’re doing arenas.

I’ve skewered whites, blacks, Hispanics, Christians, Jews, Muslims, gays, straights, rednecks, addicts, the elderly, and my wife. As a standup comic, it is my job to make sure the majority of people laugh, and I believe that comedy is the last true form of free speech.

All through college, I was searching for characters that would make me unique and set me apart from the typical ventriloquist with the typical dummy that was the little boy, cheeky hard figure like Charlie McCarthy.

It’s strange because even in the vaudeville days, ventriloquists were never the main attraction. They were the guys brought out to stand in front of the curtain while sets were being changed. Ventriloquism wasn’t even celebrated as an art until Edgar Bergen came along in the 1930s.

My goal in any show is to make people laugh. That’s the No. 1 thing. Everything else pales in comparison to that.

Growing up doing those Kiwanis Clubs, doing those Cub Scout banquets, doing those church shows, I learned to find that sensibility that most people could laugh at – that all ages and demographics could laugh at.