Top 30 Judah Friedlander Quotes

I am the greatest marital artist in the world.

I’d like to work with John Waters. I grew up in Maryland, so I’m a huge Waters fan.

Stand-up comedy is the most relaxing thing I do. If I want to unwind and de-stress, I go out and do stand-up, often several shows in a night.

I don’t live in a fancy neighborhood.

I never got into things to be famous. Sometimes it’s fun, sometimes it’s annoying.

Before I started doing ’30 Rock’, I did about 25 movies. I’d always been doing stand-up every night, and then I would do, like, two to four movies a year. So I really liked doing that, and I want to get back to that, but because of the time commitment to ’30 Rock’, there’s not much time to do that stuff.

Stand-up is kind of like my home base, and doing stand-up in New York is what I like doing most.

As the World Champion, every day is pretty much like Valentine’s Day for me – as far as hooking up with the ladies.

I never really planned on doing a television series.

I actually went to film school, but I didn’t like it. I’m basically self-taught.

You can literally walk into my apartment and sit on a hat; you can step on a hat; you can probably open up the refrigerator and find a hat tucked under some rotten food. I have a lot of hats.

When I’m not filming anything or on the road doing stand-up, I’m usually doing stand-up shows every night – usually a few shows a night at different clubs in the city.

I’m a big Pacino fan. He’s a great actor: so much passion and intensity.

If you are doing stand-up comedy, you have to be confident in what you are doing. That doesn’t mean just because you are confident you are funny.

I’ve done all kinds of movies, but I wanna do some more independent films that are not your run-of-the-mill type movies like ‘American Splendor’, which I had a big part in, that are really trying to do something unique.

I need to get a wife. But it’s hard, you know, it’s hard to find a girl you can trust. Some of these girls, they want to go out with you so they can blog about you.

I’ve been doing stand-up since ’89.

I do uphill skiing; I don’t do downhill skiing. I think that’s for nerd amateurs.

Let’s say there was a fat guy heckling me. I would rip him to shreds, but I would never go for the obvious, never talk about how he’s fat or anything.

You jump on a bike and start peddling. You fall down and you get up again. I’ve always been a ‘learn by doing’ kind of guy.

No, don’t learn at karate schools. They overcharge you for karate uniforms. They make you pay, like, fifty or seventy-five bucks just for a karate uniform, and you don’t wear a uniform in everyday life, so why train in one? Most fights take place outdoors, not inside with perfect lighting and mats.

I had not met Tina Fey before I auditioned for ’30 Rock’. Some people think we’re old friends from ‘Second City’ days. I had always been a fan of Tina’s. But I actually never planned on being in a sitcom.

I had one girl send me an e-mail saying she wants to go out with me, but it’s like a two-pronged deal because she wants to blog the date. And I’m like, No! I don’t want to be on a reality show.

I’m a massive Steven Seagal fan. I know his movies are horrible, but I’ve watched all of them over and over again. I’d want to do a movie with him and Van Damme.

I started doing my own animated movies when I was in ninth grade; that’s when I got the filmmaking bug. When I was about 16, I started writing jokes for doing stand up, and then I was 19 and started doing stand up.

Valentine’s Day is definitely one of those days where it’s either awesome or it’s a downer.

I’ve been driving in the city for years because, as a stand-up in N.Y.C., you can perform at more comedy clubs a night if you have a car. Getting from club to club by subway is too slow at night and too expensive by cab. So, many comics live far out from Manhattan and drive in every night.

I think some people’s comedy IQ’s aren’t as high as other people’s, so they don’t really know what’s going on. Or they think they know what’s going on, but they don’t really.

Sometimes ’30 Rock’ was a struggle because I’d be doing the show and still be doing stand-up full-time.

I get hecklers all the time!