Words matter. These are the best Wilson Mizner Quotes, and they’re great for sharing with your friends.
In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork.
There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.
The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you’re in.
I’ve spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
I’ve had ample contact with lawyers, and I’m convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.
A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
Don’t talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.
I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.
All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.
Art is science made clear.
Be nice to people on your way up because you’ll meet them on your way down.
I’d rather know a square guy than own a square mile.
I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, ‘Have you read – .’
It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found.
Failure has gone to his head.
Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.
If you count all your assets you always show a profit.
The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
You sparkle with larceny.
A fellow who is always declaring he’s no fool usually has his suspicions.
Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.
The most efficient water power in the world – women’s tears.
Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him.
Life’s a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.
I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education.
Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.