Top 33 Kinky Friedman Quotes

May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore.

I’ll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!

No, nothing has changed in my life at all, and nothing would change if I had millions.

I’m too young for Medicare and too old for women to care.

We’ve had to be creative to get on the ballot.

I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.

Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won’t get a lot done in the mornings, but we’ll work late and be honest.

I don’t apologize to people who try to intimidate.

Politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get.

I’ll tell you right now. I’m for prayer in school.

A happy childhood… is the worst possible preparation for life.

I don’t remember the first half of my life. All I say is a happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for life.

I’ll sign anything except bad legislation.

William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another.

I even went so far as to become a Southern Baptist for a while, until I realized that they didn’t hold ’em under long enough.

I admit I was drinking a Guinness… but I did not swallow.

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians.

Remember: Y’all is singular. All y’all is plural. All y’all’s is plural possessive.

I admit to drinking it, but I did not swallow.

The folks in Mississippi are saying, ‘Thank God for Texas.’

Yes, I’m a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart, and… both of them were independents, by the way.

You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing.

I don’t apologize to people with an agenda.

Young people are the key to this election.

The only currency I value is the coin of the spirit. That’s very important in my life.

I see an issue I like, and I support it.

Students don’t know who Mark Twain was because he wasn’t on the test.

We’ve got to clear some of the room out of the prisons so we can put the bad guys in there, like the pedophiles and the politicians.

I never apologize for the truth. And the truth here is that racists come in many different colors.

The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror.

We’re first on executions. We’re 49th in funding public education. We’re in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we’re winning.

The teachers are getting screwed, blued, and tattooed by the system.