Top 35 Jimmy Fallon Quotes

I had a gun and I had to run and shoot, which is not easy.

The fans were so psyched that someone was doing a movie about a Boston fan that they were giving their all.

You can’t reinvent the wheel. I remember when we first started out at ‘Late Night,’ we were trying to hire directors, and this guy was like, ‘I see you behind a glass desk.’ I don’t. And he’s like, ‘Yeah, the glass desk.’ I go, ‘I don’t really see me as a glass desk guy.’

I’d do entire music videos in my bedroom, where I used to stand in front of my television memorizing the moves to Michael Jackson’s ‘Beat It.’

I didn’t act like I was there. I just got into the story.

Everyone looks so much better when they smile.

Sandler’s always good. Tom Hanks gave me some good advice.

I like doing energetic things.

I’m going to North Pole to help out Santa this year.

They got a great performance from me. I was happy.

My wife and I had been trying a while to have a baby. We tried a bunch of things – so we had a surrogate.

I just really don’t like being the center of attention that much. It’s kind of ironic.

There’s always going to be someone out there… who doesn’t believe in you or who thinks your head is too big or you’re not smart enough. But those are the people you need to ignore, and those are the times you need to just keep doing what you love doing.

I don’t shoot guns. I don’t know how to do that. I grew Upstate New York, so I fought with my fists.

‘Moldova: Yes or No?’ That’s a great app, and we actually used the geo-locator on your phone, so if you are in Moldova, it will say ‘Yes, you’re in Moldova.’ I’m so excited. People need that. That’s the whole point. The whole reason you buy a $500 phone is to see if you are… in Moldova. Or not.

I’d be nothing without my wife. She’s the coolest. She’s the greatest. She is the smartest. She’s the funniest. I love her so much. She’s like the – it’s like your best friend for the rest of your life.

I like to see people laugh who are normally serious.

Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one.

It’s all about the script. Reality is key to me and less cutesy.

Thank you… fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would’ve happened if Jabba the Hutt mated with Princess Leia.

Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food.

I sing in the car if I’m in LA, because you’re like soundproofed.

When I was a kid, you would tune in to ‘The Tonight Show’ before you went to sleep. Johnny Carson. A big treat. I know it’s a privilege of mine to be able to be in people’s homes. So I hope I make everyone proud, including my parents, and do a good job in this.

The running across the field thing, that was the first scene we shot in the movie. We asked the audience to stay for the scene, and 37,000 people stayed.

Don’t keep reaching for the stars because you’ll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason.

Thank you… ‘Real Housewives of Atlanta,’ for demonstrating a universal truth: Idiots like me will always watch idiots like you fight on TV. You will forever be in my TiVo.

Thank you… Apple, for adding a camera to the iPod Nano. Now it’s just like the iPhone except it can’t make calls. So basically, it’s just like the iPhone.

I just feel like people like a little break. Especially at 12:37 at night, you go, like, ‘I’m just tired of the snarky right now. I just want to lie down and have somebody make me laugh for an hour. Entertain me, and then I’m going to sleep with a smile on my face.’ That’s my job; that’s what I do.

I can watch an episode of Jerry Seinfeld, and by the end, I’m just walking around my house, you know, talking like Jerry Seinfeld. ‘What is that? What are you doing? Who is it? What’s going’ – you know, I just had that thing, when I grew up, I’d just start talking like people. You know, I always had that.

I like video games, I like tech, I like being positive.

Politics is pop. Our job as comedians – especially me, as a late-night talk show, which is a broader audience – is to amplify what we think America is thinking.

When I see professional clowns, mimes, or people who makes ballon animals, I think of their relatives and how disappointed they must be.

I’m on so late I’m definitely the last seconds of anyone’s attention. So I just want to give them something dumb to laugh at, so they go, ‘That’s funny,’ then fall asleep.

The one thing you shouldn’t do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.

I, of course, wanted to do something with Drew Barrymore. Please. So we were reading scripts back and forth and then we found this script, Fever Pitch.