Top 35 Judy Gold Quotes

I’m going to be a ‘Chopped’ champion.

Unfortunately, I cook for two boys, and they don’t care what it looks like on the plate, and neither do I.

When I got a part in ‘All American Girl,’ in 1994, I remember thinking, ‘Now I have a series, I’m not going to need to do standup,’ but every night I’d go out afterward and get onstage somewhere.

Joan Rivers broke down barriers, advocated for free speech, and never apologized for who she was.

People always think you have a lot of money when they see you on TV.

My partner and I had our first son in 1996, and the office became the baby’s room. Our second son was born in 2001, and the office became the kids’ room.

Comedy is all about having a point of view, and it’s also about power.

My two sons are the biggest pigs – always dirty, sweaty, burping and farting.

I do believe that it’s something that we don’t talk about, but when there are clearly defined gender roles, it is much simpler. Because you don’t have to think, which people apparently don’t like to do.

For me, humor is everything!

I would love to get married, first of all, from my children’s perspective. People don’t think of children when they think of gay marriage, but I do have children, and for them to see their family validated as other families are validated and protected by our government, yes.

I live on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. I live in a 950-square-foot apartment with one bathroom and two sons.

I love the vulgar. I kind of have the humor of a 17-year-old boy.

In America, I’ve been told so many times that I look ‘too Jewish’ that I stopped counting.

Of course I love cooking Eastern European food because I’m a Jew, but I also love making roast chicken. I love making Hungarian goulash. There are a lot of egg noodles in my cooking.

When you see another tall woman on the street, you nod, sort of like Orthodox Jews.

I realize as I get older that stand-up is a huge part of who I am. I think I’ll do it for the rest of my life.

The fight in theatre is focus, focus, focus.

My desire for my own sitcom began as a little girl – I spent hours lying on my belly on the shag carpeting getting lost in the world of the ’70s sitcom. All I wanted to do was run away to the Brady house, The Partridge Family bus; even the project on ‘Good Times’ seemed better than Clark, NJ.

I love standup, but not the grind of traveling and dealing with club owners.

Remember the phrase – ‘Act your age, not your shoe size?’ That didn’t apply to me, as they were the same until the age of 12 when my feet stopped growing.

It’s fun to be someone else.

The first time I did stand-up was on a dare.

Mother humor is such a universal theme. I wrote a show called ’25 Questions for a Jewish Mother.’ I had people coming up to me after the show saying, ‘I’m Baptist, and my mother is just like yours.’

Over the years, things got so bad between my mother and I, we stopped talking to each other and started communicating by putting Ann Landers articles on the refrigerator.

Comedy is the most palliative way to make a point. People are more willing to listen if they can laugh.

Joan Rivers was my hero.

I didn’t want to be known as a gay comic, but as a comic who happens to be gay.

We all know showbiz isn’t easy, but being a comic – especially being a female comic – can be quite punishing.

Women risked their lives for the right to vote. When I hear people say, ‘Oh, I’m not gonna vote,’ I just wanna tear their heart out.

If I was married to a man, and I had the same life situation that I have, it’s the perfect recipe for a sitcom.

To have a job making people laugh really is the greatest thing.

When I was a kid, I’d read about celebrities who didn’t want to talk to their fans after a show. I told myself, ‘That’s terrible, and I would never do that.’

I’ve done stand-up since I was 18 years old, and I absolutely love it, but I used to go onstage, and the audience was my peers. Now I go onstage, and I could be their mother.

Female comics cannot dress provocatively on stage.