Words matter. These are the best Chris Rock Quotes, and they’re great for sharing with your friends.
Most parts in comedy, they’re not really written for men. They’re written for, like, these boy-men.
I’ll go back to comedy clubs when they get a real no-camera policy, the same way they did with smoking.
You don’t pay taxes – they take taxes.
I can’t cook, but I have a nice book of menus… and I can plate and set the table.
I’m severely overrated. I’m just above a hack. That should be the name of my new DVD: ‘Chris Rock: Slightly Above Hack’.
I’m a big fan of Katt Williams, Jim Gaffigan, Louie CK, Margaret Cho, Kathy Griffin, Rich Vas, Joey Vega and Matt Claybrooks.
Show me one guy or woman as funny as Rodney Dangerfield or as good as George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, or Joan Rivers. There are a lot of good comics out there, no doubt, but as far as the quality of the comics goes, I think what you have is a bunch of situational comics.
A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you’re trying material.
Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I’m famous.
A sense of humor is great – it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
I love being famous. It’s almost like being white.
I live way below my means.
Here’s what I knew about doing a play: I knew it would make me a better actor.
Does having a wife and kids change your act? Yes, but only in the best way. It gives you weight and authority. It also makes you closer to the audience because the audience is married and has kids.
After I left high school and got my GED, I studied broadcast journalism for a year at a community college.
A white boy that makes C’s in college can make it to the White House.
Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He wasn’t even the star of his own Halloween special.
When I hear people talk about juggling, or the sacrifices they make for their children, I look at them like they’re crazy, because ‘sacrifice’ infers that there was something better to do than being with your children.
Welcome to the 77th and last Oscars.
You can only offend me if you mean something to me.
You can write a great country record and still be angry. Who’s angrier than Toby Keith? He’s angrier than the average 10 rappers.
There’s some downsides to being famous, which are not even worth mentioning. But to combat the bad sides of being famous, you really should take advantage of the good sides. The good sides are, you can use that fame to get projects you might not normally get.
Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world.
I’m an independent, but I got to admit I lean Democratic.
I have my own demons and dark moods. It’s weird.
My movies are okay, but they’re not my specials.
Funny is only something that others know about you – you can’t be funny by yourself.
I think my best work is when I’m kind of in charge.
Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn’t curse.
Who’s judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!
Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.
Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn’t have any innocent bystanders.
Being with my kids is the best, most fun thing; it’s a privilege.
There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer.
Movies have takes. But plays are like life – you don’t really get takes.
I’m in show business… I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.
I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
My first year on ‘SNL’, I made $90,000 dollars. And I bought a red Corvette for $45,000 dollars. I’m thinking, ‘I’ve got 45 grand left!’ Taxes didn’t even come into my equation. At the end of the first year of making 90 grand I was 25, 30 in the hole. We live in this baller, spend-money culture.
Pretty girls have problems too.
