Top 40 Ellie Kemper Quotes

I want to be a morning-talk-show host. I love Kelly Ripa’s job. She gets to live in New York and has this amazing job hosting a talk show.

I think New Yorkers are some of the friendliest people in the world, but it just comes out in a different way. In a way where they’re swearing at you.

I wrote comedy sketches in college.

In the back of my head, I always thought it would be great to become an actress on a sitcom.

A man’s face is not a rich person’s lawn; you are wasting resources if you devote that much energy to trimming your beard, sideburns, or mustache just so. Nor is a man’s face the woods; there need not be the tangled weeds, shrubbery, and wildlife/eggs benedict that get ensnared in them.

A lot of people ask, ‘What’s the best advice Tina Fey’s given you?’ But she doesn’t, like, go about doling out advice – like, ‘I’ve got another tip for you!’

I have given myself dork shivers so many times that I would be an outright liar if I characterized myself as anything other than a pure, utter, and unadulterated dork.

I think I get certain pleasure from writing what I’m performing.

If you’re tired, you shouldn’t make yourself exercise. Take a nap instead. It’s about getting an appropriate amount of work and rest. I get very crabby if I’m not well-rested.

I joined an improv comedy group. Ours was named ‘Quick Fire!’ with an exclamation point. It was when I auditioned for that team and got on it and felt like… I’ll just say I felt like I was good at it.

I am fully anticipating that something – perhaps many things – will not go according to plan on our actual wedding day. If some of the flowers are wilted, or there aren’t enough vegetarian meals, or the priest calls me the wrong name, I will embrace these errors.

I love running. I’ve been running ever since middle school. In terms of clearing your head and restarting everything, I love running.

Growing up, I had one very specific idea of what a wedding should be, and that was the wedding of Fraulein Maria and Captain von Trapp in ‘The Sound of Music.’

I have very sensitive skin, and so, whenever I can, I want to give it a rest. I’m, like, the moisturizing queen.

I always have ice cream in the house. I have a bowl of it, and then a bit more. One of the greatest pleasures in my life is going back and getting a second half-bowl. The first bowl is just the prelude.

It took two months from the day my fiance proposed to my first Google search for ‘wedding planning: how?’ Now, let me interrupt myself here and share how much I hate using the word ‘fiance.’ It’s so fancy, and it’s hard not to sound like a jerk saying it. Which is why I will be using my own word for fiance: gloob.

Los Angeles survives on that which is unpredictable. The unexpected courses through its very veins.

In Los Angeles, people dress with the deep and earnest hope that people will do nothing but stare at them.

I need to make sure that when I’m running out to the drugstore I’m not wearing a Biore strip or something. Not that I expect anyone to recognize me, but on the off chance they do, I just don’t want to embarrass myself.

I’ve never had prejudice against me because of being a woman in comedy, I’ve never felt any sort of unfairness because of that – but I do think it is naive to think that it doesn’t exist.

If I’m alone, I tend to cook for myself. I do a pretty good job of preparing healthful foods. My go-to is everything in a bowl like quinoa, avocado. Later in the day, scrambled eggs. I’m not a gourmet chef. I cook in bulk very well.

If I don’t do some sort of exercise in a day, I do get in a terrible mood. That’s always been true.

I love coffee, but I have to make sure I don’t have more than one cup a day because I’m already a little hyper.

I love, love, love, love, love, love Naeem Khan. Every dress he makes looks like it belongs in a museum. You put it on, and you feel like royalty.

If you’re going to plan a wedding, then a certain amount of suffering is not a choice.

Improv is mostly what I’ve studied.

I’m a little disappointed in myself because before getting pregnant, I resolved to do all these things during my pregnancy to nurse a healthy pregnancy. And so I’m finding in these final weeks that I didn’t do any of them.

Growing up, I had one very specific idea of what a wedding should be, and that was the wedding of Fraeulein Maria and Captain von Trapp in ‘The Sound of Music.’

I can’t do impressions.

‘Kimmy’ first and foremost is a show about a woman overcoming the odds. I think that they write the show in a way that you’re not beaten over the head with it, but showing and not telling. I think that’s really powerful.

I’m a morning bird. I love getting up before it’s light out if it’s possible. I wake up, I have a black coffee. I’m an 86-year-old man. I try to work out first thing to get it over with. When I do it, I feel good because I have the endorphins all day.

When you start feeling the baby kick, you realize there’s a person inside, and that pregnancy is very different from having a person you’re responsible for for the rest of your life. I don’t know what I’m doing, but then I have to remind myself no parent does, right?

For a few months, I’d have a green juice every day, but one day, I realized I’d rather eat those ingredients than drink them.

I like healthful foods, but I’m from the Midwest, so I like food that’s been around longer.

Most New Yorkers want to look amazing, and they want you to understand that they look amazing, but they also want you to stop staring at them.

What’s shocking to me is seeing people walking around with green juices in their hand when the weather’s bad in New York. I couldn’t think of anything more awful to have when it’s sleeting outside. Like, ‘Oh, I’m craving some liquified kale right now.’

I’ve participated in the Nautica Malibu Triathlon a couple of times, but only in the running portion.

New York is like the weirdest city in the United States, in a great way, and Los Angeles is probably more similar to most of America.

I guess it’s easier to think badly and then be pleasantly surprised.

Men, who certainly possess not only the savvy but also the know-how to be funny, for some reason, are just not. I began to notice this at a pretty young age, and unfortunately, a lifetime of living – and not a little bit of regret – hasn’t done much to convince me otherwise.