Top 44 Kathy Griffin Quotes

I love Mariah Carey. Remember the breakdown? I loved the breakdown.

A lot of stars don’t have a sense of humor.

I am in love with Larry David.

I’m not always in that good with middle-aged heterosexual men.

I prefer being known for my stand-up because I write it. I love being an actor, and saying other people’s words is great. But then, when I do stand-up, I love getting my own point of view out there.

I think I love Montreal more than Montreal loves me… I love the food there.

Food is my thing, I do not smoke or drink, so food is my vice.

Gwyneth Paltrow names her kid Apple. I’m not going to let that stand.

I can say whatever I want. So do not bring the kids. It’s definitely rated R.

A lot of celebrities, especially when you’re talking about the really big ones, live in what I call the fame bubble. Nobody ever says no to them or challenges them or even teases them.

I have a no-apology policy. No apologies for jokes. I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I’m on stage, I’m at a microphone… it’s a joke!

That’s life when you’re on the D-list.

Pretty much everywhere I go, I’m pretty much thinking I’m going to be bounced. I am still the outsider who snuck into the party. I identify with the regular person, because that is who I am.

So I wonder if anything should ever be off limits.

Well, Jon Hamm isn’t a real celebrity.

Remember, folks, I am a comedian, not a journalist.

So yes, I say things I regret constantly, and I just can’t help it.

I have to tell you, though, the sexism in late night talk is so profound.

The beauty about the D-list is that people who are on it probably don’t know they are.

I’m a female in comedy, so of course I want there to be more women on ‘SNL’, and women of color.

I don’t like doing movies, period. Movies are hard. I like TV.

That’s what I loved about Temptation Island. I don’t even know why they did it.

The great thing about celebrity culture is that they can’t seem to stop themselves from displaying their ridiculous behaviour. I feel it’s my job as a serious investigative journalist to witness all kinds of behaviour and then report back to the audience through the prism of my own anger and bitterness.

I’m always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly. Constantly judging.

I’m basically always on tour.

I’m not an artist. I tell inappropriate stories and jokes and I try to make people laugh.

I do road gigs occasionally but I don’t want to go out on the road for months at a time.

I love to work. I love doing standup.

The thing that bums me out about ‘The Real World’ is I don’t want to believe that teenagers are that stupid.

I’m on every worst-dressed list imaginable.

I’ll be honest, there’s a part of me that does think I’m held to a different standard than my contemporaries and peers, and it’s a little frustrating.

I apologize in my real life all the time. I say ridiculous things, I make mistakes constantly. But when I’m on stage, I’m at a microphone… it’s a joke!

I have no limits, no filter, no class, no poise. No decorum. Just fun.

When I’m going to see a comedian, I don’t want to see them hold back, and when I’m reading a book, I don’t want to hear an abridged version.

I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you’ve ever heard.

I also love Mole, the unsung hero of reality programming.

I have a no-apology policy.

I’m not somebody who no matter where I go there are paparazzi or any of that nonsense. But I have a little window into that world and I can enter it and dance around. I want to be the audience’s ticket into the party.

The thing that cracks me up is how these reality characters start out thrilled and excited just to be on television, and how they move to thinking they are as big as the Friends.

It was a nightmare having cameras in the house 10 hours a day for a month.

To give up my job as a temp and actually make a living doing comedy, it was staggering.

My friend Anderson Cooper is the scion of one of America’s great shipping and railroad families, the Vanderbilts.

I love to make fun of fashion because it is just so silly.

Oh, I constantly say things that I regret. I mortify myself constantly. But that’s just part of the deal. I’m not really sure what’s going to come out of my mouth.