Top 45 Alex Horne Quotes

I have children so I couldn’t shave it off; my dad shaved his beard off once and we all disowned him. My wife’s dad shaved his off and they freaked out. I think if you have kids, getting rid of a beard is bad.

Somebody said ‘I’ve got a task here, can you give it to my girlfriend?’ And in the task it said ‘Marry me’. It was really emotional and really odd, but that sort of thing’s happened a few times, weirdly.

People are very quick to go, ‘What is this nonsense?’ if they’ve not seen something before and it’s a bit different.

The Fringe is by far my favorite time of year; I like everything about it. But there are people I know who are much more successful than me who don’t enjoy it.

Eleven years ago, my wife and I had had a baby, so I didn’t go to Edinburgh Fringe for the first time in years. Tim Key won the comedy award and I was sat at home with the baby feeling very jealous, genuinely.

If you’re a comedian, you can only really write jokes for about an hour a day, so you’ve got a lot of time to fill.

I quite enjoy that, seeing people get tetchy.

There’s lots of people I’d be keen to see doing things, someone like Jack Dee.

The first year I was in Edinburgh in 1999 I got six parking tickets.

If somebody does a task really badly, then that’s better for us than if they do it really well. We always tell people when they get back to the green room after doing a task that they’ve cocked up, ‘You’ve actually really won that task, because people remember them more than the geniuses.’ No one likes the clever people.

New shows do tend to be eaten up by Twitter.

My wife works odd hours as a journalist for breakfast radio.

I’m quite proud that my bird-feeders are always full.

Having live musicians in a comedy show adds a frisson.

Greg never knows anything I’m going to say before the show, so when he’s reacting to me it’s completely off the cuff and we obviously never know what the contestants are going to say at any point.

I used to work as a logger, which is the lowest of the low, you just had to type up what happens.

I used to work in ‘Big Brother’ in the third series, I was a logger, which was the worst of all jobs, you had to sit and watch what happens and type it into a computer.

I’m a big fan of Greg’s in that he just turns up and is the Taskmaster straight away. He really enjoys the role and is very natural at it.

I love seeing Mark Steel or Mark Thomas, but I’m not that sort of person.

Sharks – I’m sure they’re going to get me one day.

I don’t know if you saw, in the first ‘Celebrity Big Brother,’ Jack Dee was in it, and tried to escape by digging a hole with a spoon. That just made me think: that approach would be perfect on ‘Taskmaster’ – trying to achieve something impossible with something mundane.

I do like the word ‘juggernaut.’

Kids make the best audiences. They’re like drunk people – they don’t mind telling you exactly what they think.

I’ve been sent somebody’s heart in a jar. At that point, you’re thinking, I’m not sure if I should be opening this!

Mine is slightly ginger and patchy so it’s not really a hipster beard.

It’s one thing looking up your own book in a library, but imagine being able to look up your own word in the dictionary.

Mark Watson and Paul Sinha have been exactly the same – very, very clever, and very, very thick.

I can’t stand jazz.

Comedy is getting more diverse – you can do anything on a stage now. It doesn’t have to be just one man and a mic.

I’m a quarter Scottish but that’s not enough to warrant wearing a kilt at any point in my life.

I had a brief stint as ‘People’s Journalist’ for the West Sussex Gazette; I’d do golden-wedding anniversaries and pet deaths. I was always looking for an angle; it wasn’t great.

It’s nice not to have to talk about children all the time.

I nearly always wear a boring suit but I do sometimes furnish the with long dangly earrings or belly button jewelry.

I’ve got two brothers and there was a male dog and two male cats and every family we knew had three boys. Great for us, slightly less great for my mum.

I never watched ‘The Godfather’ and it seems too late now. The same happened with ‘The Sopranos,’ ‘The Wire’ and ‘Peaky Blinders.’ I don’t know if they can be compared but they feel to me like they had a lot of male violence that I’m not massively into.

I get people using my admin skills to try to basically plan their wedding or stag night. They say, ‘Can you just come up with six tasks for us on our hen night?’

I definitely think everyone’s competitive on some level, there’s virtually no-one who hasn’t cared at some point about something they’ve done.

Peter Crouch has been my hero for fifteen years, Maya Jama is a superstar and I am a mild-mannered bandleader with a motley troupe of absurdly talented musicians at my disposal – if those aren’t the ingredients for a delicious post-football entertainment dish then we’re all doomed.

We’re not ashamed of the old stuff, but when you look back at the posters it does make you think: ‘My God, six men and one woman.’ Weirdly we didn’t say ‘that’s wrong’ and no one else did, either. It’s been a really quick shift in the landscape of telly, which is brilliant.

I do quite often thank Frank Skinner because he agreed to do the very first series and that was a real stamp of approval.

Katherine Parkinson has got a classics degree from Cambridge yet is an idiot – in the best possible way.

When I created ‘Taskmaster,’ it was never meant to be suitable for family Christmases. The host, Greg Davies, is a sweary giant, the comedians are often uncouth and the show was on late-night TV.

‘Hometasking’ was genuinely a team effort. Because we were all in lockdown and didn’t have anything to do, the team watched lots of videos and passed them on to me. It was a really nice way to spend a few months and feel like you’re actually helping other people.

Sometimes the person furthest away from the audience doesn’t connect with them as much.

The most successful people in comedy do seem to be the most funny.