Top 45 Chris Hardwick Quotes

I like listening to people talk about things that they love. They get to express things they don’t normally get to express.

Comment threads are the new therapy for people. They just go and post the worst things they can think of because they feel bad, and then other people start attacking them, and then they attack back.

Comedy has sort of been my life-long obsession. I literally obsessed over comedy. I really didn’t play sports – for me it was just comedy, computers and chess club; those were my big things.

You don’t need 30 million people to listen to your podcast. If 10,000 people listen to your podcast, which is not a hard number to achieve, then 10,000 people are listening, and you can build a community, and literally change the world just recording into a microphone.

The worst day ever was when I found out my grandfather was going to die.

Comedy club audiences pay up to $25 per person and another fistful of cash to cover a two-drink minimum, so when they don’t like something, they let you know – with silence.

Television and movies just take so long. If you pitch a show or develop a project, it can be a year before your show even gets on the air, if it gets picked up.

Just as someone who’s been interested in radio and programming for so long, I can usually tell when an interviewer is doing a segment just to fill a programming slot. They ask questions, but they don’t care about the answers.

When you first start working, you take whatever job is offered, because you have to build your resume. But you don’t think about what you’re building.

The ‘Hipster Nerds’ like stuff because they hate it. It’s like they ironically like it.

Bowling is all physics and energy distribution. It’s F = ma. So it is actually one of the most science-y sports, because it literally is just a ball and a surface and objects to knock down.

For podcasters, people are just being themselves in a public fashion. So when someone is attacking a podcast, they’re really attacking the person, because the person is the podcast. So I think that’s why podcasters take it to heart. It’s a very personal form of media, probably the most personal form of media.

In the ’90s, you couldn’t say the word ‘nerd’ to someone when pitching a show. They would have considered that too niche and wouldn’t have listened.

I think being an outcast is what sort of strengthens the nerd movement, because you’re isolated, so you have time.

American television constantly tries to co-op British comedy and create their own version of it. Most of the time it doesn’t work; obviously, in the case of ‘The Office,’ it did. But a lot of times, it doesn’t really work.

I am a freelancer. My services are available to anyone at any time.

I don’t really read reviews and comments that much. There just isn’t a lot to be gained from it.

In the end, all that time I spent in the ‘Star Wars’ universe fostered galaxies of creativity and made me a better person here on Earth, because it taught me that everyone counts. That’s why I can sincerely and with a straight face say: ‘May the Force be with you.’

Every year on my birthday, I start a new playlist titled after my current age so I can keep track of my favorite songs of the year as a sort of musical diary because I am a teenage girl.

While the liberal media elite depict the bowler as a chubby guy with a comb-over and polyester pants, the reality is that bowling is one of the most tech-heavy sports today. Robotic pinsetters and computerized scoring were just the beginning.

I probably get one or two days off every five or six weeks.

Any nerd who grew up around the time that I did, BBC programming was a treasure chest for us.

Like lycanthropy, the nerd gene can skip a generation. My maternal grandfather was a technophile.

I played tournament chess from fifth grade up into high school.

Videogames make you feel like you’re actually doing something. Your brain processes the tiered game achievements as real-life achievements. Every time you get to the next level, hot jets of reward chemical coat your brain in a lathery foam, and it seems like you’re actually accomplishing stuff.

I think for a lot of people, bowling is sort of a joke. But I love it, and it means a lot to me, so any chance to help promote it or celebrate it or not make the hackiest jokes – ‘Bowlers are like plumbers and they wear the craziest shirts!’ – I’m way into.

The podcast movement was really a creative survival mechanism for standup comics.

I’ve been out of work so many times in my life that relying too much on just one job is terrifying.

What’s more unnerving than magnetism, ghosts, and unpurified water? Gadgetmongers who purport to protect us from metaphysical monsters that go bump in the New Age night.

Traditionally nerd-based culture is now a big sector of pop culture.

It’s funny: when I first started getting vocal about how much I liked ‘Doctor Who,’ I didn’t realize how deep the fan base was.

With stand-up, there’s a little bit of an exaggerated reality because things have to be manipulated to create comedy, to create jokes.

Real philosophy is like trying to read an alarm system installation manual in Korean.

If I wasn’t acting or doing stand-up, I would be in animation. Or if I had the discipline I might studies physics.

If you do a joke that’s really old, then what happens is people on Reddit and Twitter just go, ‘Real original, you’re just doing old jokes!’ But bands do it all the time.

The lifeblood of YouTube is sharing.

I think when I look out and I see there’s so much negativity in the world and a lot of people are unhappy and a lot people are anxious, it just feels like that’s one view of the world. But you don’t have to always focus on that view of the world.

Don’t tell television, but there is some superior programming being made on the Interwebz.

I feel like so much of why I sort of want to work in television is so that people know to come see me live.

Any time you’re lucky enough to get on a show people watch, it’s a good thing.

If you can build your career around your passions, then you’re winning in life; that’s one of the best things you can ask for.

Nerds get caught up in minutiae, because there is a tremendous and fulfilling sense of control in understanding every single detail of a thing more than any other living creature.

Steve Martin said that philosophy is good for comedy because it screws up your thinking just enough, and I agree with that. Being forced to see life’s metadata is good training for looking for interesting angles on a topic.

The goal of almost every comic is to find a comedy voice – a specific point of view that an audience can latch onto.

Comic-Con is interesting because there’s so much going on at once, it’s literally impossible to do everything. You need clones and some sort of hoverboard so you can surf over the crowd of packed-in nerds.