I don’t think there’s anything they can say about me that I haven’t said about myself already. And I would be an absolute total liar, and my fans would not respect me, if I said that my life and my marriage are perfect. But we absolutely love each other; we have fun together – it’s great.
Words can be said in bitterness and anger, and often there seems to be an element of truth in the nastiness. And words don’t go away, they just echo around.
I have always said that everyone is in sales. Maybe you don’t hold the title of salesperson, but if the business you are in requires you to deal with people, you, my friend, are in sales.
In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.
A lot of truth is said in jest.
I was looking at my Instagram, and someone said to me, ‘Who manages your Instagram?’ I would never let anyone manage my Instagram! I enjoy it.
A lot of people have said I’d have probably done better in my career if I hadn’t looked so cheap and gaudy. But I dress to be comfortable for me, and you shouldn’t be blamed because you want to look pretty.
Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.
My friends have said, ‘Wait, you’re pretty, and you sing? What do you mean you’re interested in science?’ I have to just hold my head and go, ‘Do you hear yourself?’ By no means should you ever limit yourself because of what others think or because of their perceptions of what someone looks like in a certain field.
I owe my whole acting career to the fact that I’m a singer. I went out to Los Angeles and auditioned for a TV show called ‘Fame L.A.’ The original role was for a comedian, but they said I wasn’t very funny, so they asked me, ‘What else can you do?’ So I played a singer.
With optimism, you look upon the sunny side of things. People say, ‘Studs, you’re an optimist.’ I never said I was an optimist. I have hope because what’s the alternative to hope? Despair? If you have despair, you might as well put your head in the oven.
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
And then she finally said yes. And we have been married, I want you to know, for 51 years.
My father once said, ‘If you’re in the desert and you’re dying of thirst, are you going to drink a glass of blood or are you going to drink a glass of water?’ I think what he was trying to say, interesting coming from my blood father, is sometimes there are people in your family that can be toxic.
I just try to love and serve everyone, and bring everyone water, and lend an ear; that’s what Jesus said to do.
Angling may be said to be so like the mathematics that it can never be fully learned.
I’ve always acknowledged my debt to Hammer. I’ve always said I’m very grateful to them. They gave me this great opportunity, made me a well known face all over the world for which I am profoundly grateful.
I would write 100 jokes a day. Most of them were terrible. But I just said, ‘I’ll write more than everybody else, and that’s how I’ll get better.’
Jesus said, ‘Blessed are the peacemakers.’ And I think a lot of people don’t understand that there’s a difference between a peace lover and a peacemaker. Everybody loves peace, but wearing jewelry around your neck and saying ‘I love peace’ doesn’t bring it.
There’s an examination for young people to go to university. I failed it three times. I failed a lot. So I applied to 30 different jobs and got rejected. I went for a job with the police; they said, ‘You’re no good.’ I even went to KFC when it came to my city. Twenty-four people went for the job. Twenty-three were accepted.
Somebody said they threw their copy of Dungeons and Dragons into the fire, and it screamed. It’s a game! The magic spells in it are as real as the gold. Try retiring on that stuff.
For all my friends in the media who like quotes, mark this quote down. From this day on I’d like to be known as ‘The Big Aristotle’ because Aristotle once said, ‘Excellence is not a singular act; it’s a habit. You are what you repeatedly do.’
I have said this before. Donald Trump is very popular in Pennsylvania. We cannot afford to underestimate his popularity in our state. And I have emphasized that continuously.
I’ve always said the rubber duck is a yellow catalyst.
I have often said that the lure of flying is the lure of beauty.
I said I was ‘The Greatest,’ I never said I was the smartest!
I’m somebody who tries to remain positive and looks forward to setting goals and reaching them. But that’s easier said than done.
Years ago I went into my laboratory and said, ‘Dear Mr. Creator, please tell me what the universe was made for?’ The Great Creator answered, ‘You want to know too much for that little mind of yours. Ask for something more your size, little man.’
If Galileo had said in verse that the world moved, the inquisition might have let him alone.
Machines were, it may be said, the weapon employed by the capitalists to quell the revolt of specialized labor.
I’m not devastated over a baseball game. If somebody came to me and said, ‘Your wife is terminally ill.’ Or, if my kids and wife get on a plane and I got a call that said, ‘Something happened with the plane,’ that’s devastating.
Dr. Seuss said, ‘No one can be you-er than you,’ and Oscar Wilde said, ‘Be yourself because everyone else is taken.’ So I just try to continue to be who I am and don’t change that. And I’m a little chameleon, so I can fit in wherever I am.
Too often, stories about Afghanistan center around the various wars, the opium trade, the war on terrorism. Precious little is said about the Afghan people themselves – their culture, their traditions, how they lived in their country and how they manage abroad as exiles.
I was about to meet Beyonce, and I had a full-blown anxiety attack. Then she popped in looking gorgeous, and said, ‘You’re amazing! When I listen to you I feel like I’m listening to God.’
My hats did give me an identity. In fact, if I had a dollar for every time someone has seen me bareheaded and said, ‘I almost didn’t recognize you without a hat on’, I could have bought the Cowboys myself.
It’s difficult for me to really temper my personality, but I am trying to be a little more sensible about it. If I really lose my temper, I go to my room and scream and shout, but I try not to lose it on people any more. I’ve never said something mean just like that. I’ve only said things in retaliation.
As a kid, I said, ‘I want to write for movies.’ When I finally had that opportunity it was like I was able to exhale. ‘Wow, I’m finally doing this for real.’
Every man has the right to risk his own life in order to preserve it. Has it ever been said that a man who throws himself out the window to escape from a fire is guilty of suicide?
I never regret or sit back and think that I shouldn’t have said something. There are a lot of people who tell me that you shouldn’t say this or that or should keep quiet, and I really think that I can either be true to my conscience or can live a fake life by staying quiet.
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’
When people say, you know, ‘Good teacher,’ ‘Prophet,’ ‘Really nice guy’… this is not how Jesus thought of Himself. So you’re left with a challenge in that, which is either Jesus was who he said he was or a complete and utter nut case. You have to make a choice on that.
Nearly all institutions, it might be said, are based on signs, but these signs do not directly evoke things.
American history is longer, larger, more various, more beautiful, and more terrible than anything anyone has ever said about it.
I saw this cool interview with Amy Adams from when she did ‘Enchanted’ and played a princess, and when kids came up to her with no make-up and ripped jeans on, she said, ‘I’m off duty. I’m an off-duty princess’, and I thought that was quite sweet.
Lincoln said you cannot be President without spending some item on your knees. I have repeated that and a bunch of Atheists got all over me. Wait a minute. Does that mean that you cannot be President if you are an Atheist? I say yea that does mean that.
When a thing has been said and well, have no scruple. Take it and copy it.
The turning point was when I hit my 30th birthday. I thought, if really want to write, it’s time to start. I picked up the book How to Write a Novel in 90 Days. The author said to just write three pages a day, and I figured, I can do this. I never got past Page 3 of that book.
My grandmother always said, ‘when you receive a paycheck, you always have to put a certain amount to your savings, and 10 percent right away to charity.’
Benito Mussolini created the word ‘fascism.’ He defined it as ‘the merging of the state and the corporation.’ He also said a more accurate word would be ‘corporatism.’ This was the definition in Webster’s up until 1987 when a corporation bought Webster’s and changed it to exclude any mention of corporations.
I’ve said it before: War brings out the patriotic bullies. In World War I, they went around kicking dachshunds on the grounds that dachshunds were ‘German dogs.’ They did not, however, go around kicking German shepherds.
I went to the doctor last week. I said: ‘Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife?’ He said: ‘Why?’ I said: ‘She’s woke up.’
