Top 50 Carlos Mencia Quotes

People live in a place called Tornado Alley – and they’re surprised when they get hit by a tornado. I’m sorry when they get hit by tornadoes, but when you live in Tornado Alley you can’t really claim surprise.

I am frail like everyone else, and I take that into account when I talk about things.

I have 11 sisters and 6 brothers.

I am living in a world where I am happy and doing what I love and making others happy.

You can take my dirtiest, craziest joke, and I can break down in my head why there’s a good, honest, honorable reason for telling it.

When I was a kid, I was in love with one of the ‘Charlie’s Angels.’ I told my dad, ‘I’m going to marry somebody like Cheryl Ladd.’ My dad said, ‘You’re not that good-looking, mijo. You’re going to have to make a lot of money if that’s what you want.’ I went, ‘Well, I want that, so I’m going to make money.’

Well, the hard part about doing auditions is that the person reading you the lines, they’re not really into it. They’re just going, ‘Oh really, so why do you think that?’ And they’re just looking at a piece of paper.

I could always talk about being a Latino and having a Mexican mom and a Honduran dad and being from Honduras. That was always an easy go-to place. But on the other hand, it was a crutch.

Here’s the problem: People have completely and utterly forgotten one thing when it comes to communication – intent.

I’m just trying to be funny, trying to make people laugh, and trying to make the world a better place through some jokes. I don’t have words for it. It’s so overwhelming.

‘America is such a great country, we have fat poor people.’ It’s one of those jokes that doesn’t hit people right away, because it’s so prevalent that we don’t get it.

The easiest thing to do is put someone in a file of somebody you already know. ‘Hey, you remind me of Sam Kinison’ or ‘You remind me of Richard Pryor.’ That’s fine, because I know that’s the process. Eventually, my own file will be created.

It’s a pleasure to be doing a show for Comedy Central. Traditional networks would cast me as the head of a household with 16 children, which I find extremely offensive because there are 18 kids in my family.

If you’ve never seen me perform live, I’m a must-see. I’m very funny. I have a different perspective sometimes on a lot of what I do and the world itself, especially America.

On stage, I’m really, really tall. I’m five-foot-9, but on stage, I’m, like, six-foot-5.

My choices are made out of love. When I go on stage now, I want to make people happy. I mean, when I get hecklers now, I’m nice to them!

I know I’m funny.

I never want to forget that my job is to make people laugh.

When I was young and didn’t have money, I liked gambling because winning and losing was fun for the rush of it.

The beauty of comedy is, when people come to a comedy club, there is a certain veil of reality suspended.

I don’t think Latino; I think like me. If that happens to be Latino, then I guess that’s me. But it doesn’t affect my comedy in any way.

Nobody calls me a racist when I do redneck jokes. Jeff Foxworthy can do as many ‘You might be a redneck jokes’ as he wants, but I’m telling you as soon as a guy like that does a black joke or something – ‘How dare you!’ I totally think it’s unfair.

I am an extremist.

If I were to say that I grew up in East Los Angeles in the projects, poor, I assumed that everybody understood that it came with its own reasons for being the way I am. I didn’t get that people needed to understand where my comedy came from; I thought that they knew that.

I was a very cocky and unlikable young comic. But I came from the hood, and that’s what I learned.

You know what, I stopped doing ‘Mind of Mencia’ because it got hard, and there was a lot of fighting, and it was just time to move on.

The really funny thing is that most all of my friends who are priests have seen me perform, and they say, ‘I wish I could talk the way you do on stage. I wish I could reveal truth to my congregation the way you do.’

I am a product… I’m a comedian. I’m not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh.

One of the better moments in life is when you get your own car.

The beauty of not growing up middle class is that you don’t think like the middle class. You don’t have anything to protect, you know what I mean?

When somebody says that a comic steals jokes, it’s the ultimate betrayal of comedy.

I always knew I was going to lose weight.

I’m not good looking, but I’m not bad looking.

If I’ve got a black joke, and I can’t tell it in Oakland, then I shouldn’t tell the joke anywhere else.

When the comedy community turned on me, I had a lot of reflecting to do.

When I tell a joke, I immediately know whether it’s funny or not.

Here’s my questions to anybody when they talk about comedy. When you are with your friends, who don’t judge you, what do you say? And if that’s appropriate to say with your friends, why is it not appropriate anywhere else. Like, I hate those people who judge me and are hypocrites.

I was never one of those fat-victim people. I always have to address how much weight I lost, and people always realize then how fat I was.

My comedy is about, lift yourself. See reality. Change the reality if you don’t like it. But if you can’t, then deal with things as they are because crying about it isn’t going to change anything.

I hate being judged.

The fact that so many comics were waiting to jump on the bandwagon of hate toward me – what is it about me that engages this kind of behavior? I began to see it: My cockiness, my lack of hanging out with other comics. A lot of that wasn’t my fault.

Ten comics can say the same joke, and I’m the one who gets called a thief.

I believe that my part to play in this world is stand-up.

The cool thing about going to Vegas is that it’s kind of like visiting a bunch of cities all at one time. All the shows and great restaurants leave you with a lot of options.

I grew up Mexican.

I’m a teacher and a philosopher by nature… In the end, I’m trying to teach people to live a better life. And if I can do that on top of entertain, then I leave the world a better place.

I can’t imagine how unbelievable it would be to go to the Great Barrier Reef.

Just because my name is Carlos Mencia, don’t think my show is going to be about the difference between Mexicans and white people.

I don’t want to go on stage with anger. And that’s why I worked so hard to look within and change myself and evolve.

I’m afraid of being poor; I’m afraid of living in the projects… I’m afraid of being thought as unsuccessful.