Top 50 Sarah Cooper Quotes

Twitter is a cesspool but I find I can ignore most of the cess most of the time.

Men love explaining things. But when he’s explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say ‘I already know that.’ Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about out how to avoid him in the future.

People are like, ‘How did you get so funny?’ And I’m like, ‘Wait, am I funny?’

There’s no faster way to get on the good side of most engineers than making fun of product managers.

Black women usually don’t get the luxury of faking their way through life and still succeeding, but when a white guy does it, he may even get to be the president of the United States.

Stand up comedy can be a tough world to break into. It can take years of painful soul searching, disappointing performances, and pounding the pavement day in and day out with very little reward.

I can’t tell you how excited I was when I joined my first book club, but I can tell you how much I immediately regretted it.

Nothing makes everyone feel more like the meeting was worth it, than ending by saying it would be good to follow up when everyone’s in the same place.

Most people see a job offer from Google as a victory, and I should have seen it that way. I should have at least seen the salary that way.

Slide decks are only as great as their giant, useless appendixes, so make sure yours has a ton of useless, not even remotely relevant slides in it. You’ll look like you really did your research.

Engineers love pretending to be beer snobs.

Believe it or not, joining a video conference call from home doesn’t always have to make you feel like an idiot.

When something really affects you, it’s hard to find the humor in it sometimes. There’s are a lot of reasons why there are so many white male comedians, but I think part of it is that they are able to joke about a lot of things because a lot of things don’t affect them personally.

When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don’t want your male coworkers to think you’re getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just ‘thinking out loud,’ ‘throwing something out there,’ or sharing something ‘dumb,’ ‘random,’ or ‘crazy.’

I had been writing and performing stand-up comedy pretty much the entire time I worked at Google.

My advice for finding a literary agent would be first, put your work out there as much as possible and hopefully someone will find you, because I still have literary agents writing to me after they find my site. You want someone who understands your work and is going to be your cheerleader from day one.

I was a user experience designer for Google Docs.

Getting up and drawing a Venn diagram is a great way to appear smart. It doesn’t matter if your Venn diagram is wildly inaccurate, in fact, the more inaccurate the better.

I was born in Jamaica, my whole family’s Jamaican, and they always give me a hard time for being the least Jamaican member of the family. But I think it’s their fault for naming me Sarah.

I love book clubs. I just hate reading and talking to people.

When I finally accepted a full time job, I saw that as giving up on my artistic dreams. But three years later, I wrote a blog post based on life in the corporate world, which went viral and became the basis for my first book, which allowed me to quit my job to be creatively independent once again.

When you’re Jamaican, you don’t consider yourself African American even though everyone else considers you that.

Open mics are a great way to rework your material to see what punchlines land best.

My Dad doesn’t see limitations; he either sees hard workers or people who are lazy. As a result, despite any disability or obstacle, my siblings and I all lead relatively happy and successful lives. I believe a good deal of this is due to the fact that excuses were rarely tolerated.

I’ve been blogging since the 80s. Okay maybe not that long. But starting around 2004, I launched and abandoned many blogs, and would continue to do so over the next decade.

If we want little girls and young women and people of color to see they have a place in the tech world, it’s up to us to make that place for them.

Never, ever, ever show up to your office holiday party on time.

I love getting things done. That’s why I spend several hours a day reading productivity articles. And when the day is done, I bookmark the ones I didn’t get to for later. I learned that trick in a productivity article.

The only time my Dad ever said I might have not gotten something because of how I look was when I auditioned for Tyler Perry’s ‘Meet the Browns.’ My dad didn’t think I was ‘black enough’ for the show. My dad isn’t the most politically correct person.

Innovation at large companies is hard, but it doesn’t have to be.

I voted for Hillary Clinton.

When I was little, I always got so excited about learning – until I got to the actual learning part of learning.

Like everyone, appearing smart during meetings is my top priority. Sometimes this can be difficult if you start daydreaming about your next vacation, your next nap, or bacon.

20 or 30 exclamation points can go a long way to making the tone of your email excited and cheerful.

One of the best things you can do to get on an engineer’s good side is make him feel as much like a regular person as possible, without insulting his intelligence. Say things like, ‘You’re too cool to be an engineer,’ or ‘Nice kicks!’ or ‘You don’t seem lonely at all.’ Note: This only works on male engineers.

The best thing about going to a tech conference is that you can tell everyone you’re going to a tech conference. But while you’re there, it’s important you make a smart impression so people will remember you, or at least wait a few days before throwing away your business card.

Stealing something from Apple is the most innovative way to be seen as an innovative, digital-first company.

Satire makes people learn something more than being lectured.

I love how much people are drawn to my ‘impersonations’ of Trump because they aren’t really impersonations at all. I’m not trying to be Trump so much as I’m trying to make Trump me. In doing them, I simply ask myself, ‘How would I, Sarah Cooper, say these words?’

People really hate Trump – a lot. They hate his voice. They hate looking at him. They hate everything about him.

You know, as a comedian, that’s what you do. You speak truth to power by making people laugh.

My inability to stick with any journal or calendar has been a pattern for God-since-forever.

I guess a younger me would like that I tried acting? Although I swore that I’d actually go to L.A. and try to make it in movies and I didn’t do that. I did try, though. And I found that I didn’t like it.

The laugh track was invented to cue the audience to the jokes and encourage laughter in response. But it has another effect: if you hear people laughing and you’re not, you start to question if maybe there’s something wrong with you for not getting it.

I’ve always felt unsure of exactly what I wanted to do with my life, but I have these rare moments of total clarity where everything is perfectly clear.

I don’t want to spend my energy on people who don’t like me.

I used to think Medium was a pretty pure place and then the MAGA hats started showing up here too.

Nothing is more embarrassing than calling someone the wrong name, but nothing is harder than trying to pretend you know someone’s name when you don’t.

You can tell a lot about a woman by her email signature. Actually you can’t but for some reason people do anyway.

Engineers aren’t professional grammarticians, but they love correcting people. Even more, they love making you feel stupid.