Top 55 Gretchen Rubin Quotes

Working is one of the most dangerous forms of procrastination.

Putting myself into categories is fun, and I think it also gives me insight into my own nature. When I see myself more clearly, I can more easily see ways that I might do things differently, to make myself happier. Categories can be unhelpful, however, when they become too all-defining, or when they become an excuse.

One major challenge within happiness is loneliness. The more I’ve learned about happiness, the more I’ve come to believe that loneliness is a terrible, common, and important obstacle to consider.

People often assume that the same approach will work for everyone, that the same habits will work for everyone, and that everyone has the same aptitude and appetite for forming habits, but from my observation, that’s not true.

When we’re trying to form and keep habits, we often search – even unconsciously – for loopholes. We look for justifications that will excuse us from keeping this particular habit in this particular situation.

People are powerfully moved by imagination, belief, and knowledge. They can consider the past and future. They can make changes in their behavior out of reason in a way that animals can’t do.

Whenever I’m trying to decide how to spend my precious time, energy, or money, I ask myself a series of questions. ‘Will this broaden or deepen my relationships?’ ‘Will this contribute to an atmosphere of growth in my life?’ ‘Is this a way to ‘Be Gretchen?’ and ‘Will this help connect me to my past?’

One of my ‘Secrets of Adulthood’ is: Somewhere, keep an empty shelf. I know where my empty shelf is, and I treasure it.

One of my most important ‘Secrets of Adulthood’: Outer order contributes to inner calm.

I love cunning containers as much as anyone, but I’ve found that if I get rid of everything I don’t need, I often don’t need a container at all.

As goofy as it sounds, I try to sing in the morning. It’s hard both to sing and to maintain a grouchy mood, and it sets a happy tone for everyone – particularly in my case, because I’m tone deaf, and my audience finds my singing a source of great hilarity.

Remember that although the distinction can be difficult to draw, loneliness and solitude are different.

The days are long, but the years are short.

I do better with routines and predictability. I don’t react well when there’s a sudden change in the schedule.

‘Potato-chip news’ is news that’s repetitive, requires little effort to absorb, and is consumable in massive quantities: true crime, natural disasters, political punditry, celebrity gossip, sports gossip, or endless photographs of beautiful houses, food, or clothes.

Some kind of clutter is difficult – letting go of things with sentimental value, sifting through papers – but some clutter I find very refreshing to clear. I drive my daughters nuts because I’m always wandering into their rooms to clear clutter.

I’ve always loved ‘Before and After’ stories, in books, magazines, and TV shows. Whenever I read those words, I’m hooked. The thought of a transformation – any kind of transformation – thrills me. And that’s the promise of habits.

Spending hours stressed out in front of the TV isn’t the same as volunteering or donating. Feeling a high level of personal distress makes people feel agitated and emotionally drained, to the point that they lack the energy or detachment to help – or the energy to manage themselves.

Keeping a habit, in the smallest way, protects and strengthens it. I write every day, even if it’s just a sentence, to keep my habit of daily writing strong.

For one person, organized files might be a crucial tool for creativity; another person finds inspiration in random juxtapositions.

Often, if there’s something that I want to do, but somehow can’t get myself to do, it’s because I don’t have clarity. This lack of clarity often arises from a feeling of ambivalence – I want to do something, but I don’t want to do it; or I want one thing, but I also want something else that conflicts with it.

An enormous amount of ingenuity and creativity goes into commercials, and they can be fascinating if you pay attention.

Take the perspective of a journalist or scientist. Really study what’s around you. What are people wearing, what do the interiors of buildings look like, what noises do you hear? If you bring your analytical powers to bear, you can make almost anything interesting.

Often, the more reliably you perform a task, the less likely it is for someone to notice that you’re doing it and to feel grateful and to feel any impulse to help or to take a turn.

A ‘treat’ is different from a ‘reward,’ which must be justified or earned. A treat is a small pleasure or indulgence that we give to ourselves just because we want it. Treats give us greater vitality, which boosts self-control, which helps us maintain our healthy habits.

If I can do something in less than one minute, I don’t let myself procrastinate. I hang up my coat, put newspapers in the recycling, scan and toss a letter. Ever since I wrote about this rule in ‘The Happiness Project,’ I’ve been amazed by how many people have told me that it has made a huge difference in their lives.

It’s hard to avoid ‘unconscious overclaiming.’ In unconscious overclaiming, we unconsciously overestimate our contributions relative to others. This makes sense, because we’re far more aware of what we do than what other people do. Also, we tend to do the work that we value.

In ‘Happier at Home,’ I write a lot about my struggle to create an unhurried atmosphere at home.

I collect axioms, paradoxes, maxims, teaching stories, proverbs, and aphorisms of all sorts, because I love to see complex ideas distilled into a few words.

Habit allows us to go from ‘before’ to ‘after,’ to make life easier and better. Habit is notorious – and rightly so – for its ability to direct our actions, even against our will; but by mindfully shaping our habits, we can harness the power of mindlessness as a sweeping force for serenity, energy, and growth.

I get such a buzz out of cleaning closets.

I love taxonomies, categories, ways of dividing people into groups.

A person with ‘oppositional conversational style’ is a person who, in conversation, disagrees with and corrects whatever you say. He or she may do this in a friendly way, or a belligerent way, but this person frames remarks in opposition to whatever you venture.

Children’s literature is one of my joys, and it’s also my mental comfort food.

Skillful conversationalists can explore disagreements and make points in ways that feel constructive and positive rather than combative or corrective.

One of the most important elements of my identity is my identity as a reader. I love to read – really, if I’m honest with myself, it’s practically the only activity that I truly love to do.

It was my interest in happiness that led me to the subject of habits, and of course, the study of habits is really the study of happiness. Habits are the invisible architecture of everyday life, and a significant element of happiness.

Superstition is the irrational belief that an object or behavior has the power to influence an outcome, when there’s no logical connection between them. Most of us aren’t superstitious – but most of us are a ‘littlestitious.’

No leader did more for his country than Winston Churchill. Brave, magnanimous, traditional, he was like a king-general from Britain’s heroic past. His gigantic qualities set him apart from ordinary humanity; there seemed no danger he feared, no effort too great for his limitless energies.

If you’d like to watch less television, try putting the remote away in a very inconvenient place and making yourself put it away every time you use it. If it’s a big pain to turn on the TV and to change channels, you might find yourself drifting to other activities that will be more satisfying in the long run.

Most people enjoy ‘potato-chip news’ from time to time – to track a presidential election or the Oscars. However, some are particularly drawn to material that makes them feel shocked, frightened, insecure, or indignant, and that’s what potato-chip news often provides.

Keep in mind that to avoid loneliness, many people need both a social circle and an intimate attachment. Having just one of two may still leave you feeling lonely.

We need to have intimate, enduring bonds; we need to be able to confide; we need to feel that we belong; we need to be able to get support, and just as important for happiness, to give support. We need many kinds of relationships; for one thing, we need friends.

If you’ve had something for more than six months, and it’s still not repaired, it’s clutter.

Happiness is a critical factor for work, and work is a critical factor for happiness. In one of those life-isn’t-fair results, it turns out that the happy outperform the less happy. Happy people work more hours each week – and they work more in their free time, too.

In ‘Before and After,’ I identify the sixteen strategies that we can use to make or break our habits. Some are quite familiar, such as ‘Monitoring,’ ‘Scheduling,’ and ‘Convenience.’ Some took me a lot of effort to identify, such as ‘Thinking,’ ‘Identity,’ and ‘Clarity.’

I always feel calmer when I exercise. In fact, that’s probably the main reason I exercise.