Top 55 Ray Romano Quotes

Doris Roberts had an energy and a spirit that amazed me. She never stopped. Whether working professionally or with her many charities or just nurturing and mentoring a green young comic trying to make it as an actor, she did everything with such a grand love for life and people, and I will miss her dearly.

I’m a 14 handicap. Anyone who golfs knows what that means. I shoot 90 to a hundred or, once in a while, 85.

I’ve always wondered, what am I going to do that’s important with these stupid jokes that I tell.

I don’t get sick.

The first time I played golf was in Flushing Meadows, Queens, when I was about 16 or 17. They had an 18-hole pitch-and-putt. My buddies and I would hop the fence and sneak on and play.

I don’t want to be a spokesman for family values, but that’s the way my standup is perceived.

I remember I did the movie ‘Eulogy,’ and there was a dramatic moment in it. It was pretty heavy, and I went for it. It was… I didn’t feel that comfortable doing it.

If my father had hugged me even once, I’d be an accountant right now.

I like doing film, you know, single-camera.

My kids are growing up and it’s hard to accept they are their own person and they’re independent.

My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning.

I live in L.A. Now.

It seems to be a common denominator with a lot of comics, this low self-esteem thing.

My favorite band – and Bobby Cannavale and Terry Winter have already made fun of me for this – is Chicago.

I married a saint – well, a saint who curses.

When you’re in the living room every week for nine years as one character, it’s hard for some people to see you as someone else.

My career has been my craziest adventure.

My joke used to be about my father and Peter Boyle: that anything you see Peter Boyle do on TV, my father has done in real life without pants on.

I never want to give up stand-up. Because I still get a thrill out of it.

I would get my student loans, get money, register and never really go. It was a system I thought would somehow pan out.

As successful as it may appear I am, I don’t really feel that. It’s like, you know you’ve achieved some level of success, and you know what you’ve done, and yet you still feel you have more to do and more to prove.

If golf wasn’t enjoyable and there wasn’t a lot of humor and enjoyment, even though the game is so frustrating, you would wonder why you put yourself through it.

I feel like this is a dream – and I apologize for how I dressed some of you.

I’m a little different from the average dude because I’m on high-def TV now.

I just don’t want to play the same guy again over and over.

I can’t complain about my career, that’s for sure.

The successful golfers – they’re like astronauts or pilots. They have that demeanor that they can focus and stay within that one moment and nothing distracts them. That’s not me.

It’s my insecurity that makes me want to be a comic, that makes me need the audience.

I’m at an age where crying is easier for me now. I like it. I can cry at a poignant commercial; I can cry at a – this is a running joke in my house, but… a good ‘Star-Spangled Banner’ can make me cry. I’m not kidding.

I still got my hair, I’m not fat.

If I’m really considering doing film from now on then that is the smart thing to do, or you can go either way. You can just do the same character over and over again and make a different comedy like over and over again.

The best comedy, I feel, comes in a drama because it balances each other out.

I just go to work, come home. And my wife lets me throw my clothes on the floor, and she doesn’t say anything, so I must be making some money.

I do still get intimidated by certain things.

I’m from New York.

I think that as actors age, the work becomes more organic to them.

I don’t think men talk as much as women, but when we have something on our minds we’ll get it out.

Right after ‘Raymond’ I had a world-is-my-oyster attitude, but I found out I don’t like oysters. I had this existential emptiness. ‘What is my purpose? Who am I?’ I had a big identity crisis.

I love standup and I haven’t given it up.

I see the bad in everything I do.

I have the show because I’m insecure. It’s my insecurity that makes me want to be a comic, that makes me need the audience.

You know, a TV show is a slow build.

My hair was long – in my high school year book, I looked like an ugly David Cassidy.

You know, before I would think, my cab driver hates me. Now I think my limo driver hates me.

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You’ll realize this as soon as they’re born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.

I go to Hooters for lunch every day. Then for coffee.

I didn’t want to have to follow ‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ with another sitcom. Let it be my sitcom legacy, and leave it at that.

In school, I wasn’t a very good student – I was very irresponsible and never did the studying but always liked to get the laugh.

I don’t want to say work is who I am, but some people feel more centered and more whole when they’re producing and creating.

I’m always giving myself the Alzheimer’s test. My shrink told me to do this. It takes one minute. You name every word that comes to mind that begins with the letter F.

The comics that are just conversing with you up there and drawing on their own life, yeah, I guess so. I guess some do political humor, some do topical humor, but the ones that I like, the ones that are appealing to me, were guys who were just talking to you about their life.

I want to do well and I want to fit in.

Well, I’m a 14 handicap. Anyone who golfs knows what that means.

In stand-up, there’s that idea that comedy comes from a dark place, but it’s not a rule.

Every backstory involves my father. I remember hearing Gary Oldman talking about backstories and saying, ‘I got to stop using my father…’ And I feel the same way. I don’t know. What I come up with always involves some element of this son trying to prove himself to his father.