Top 60 Jason Alexander Quotes

I had gone to the doctor. The doctor said, ‘You’re healthy as a horse. You’ve got two weight problems – two health problems because of your weight. Please do something.’

Jerry Seinfeld made a puddle, I stepped in it, and wonderful things happened.

Jerry Seinfeld has an interesting theory. He goes, ’20 pounds up or down, and you lose your funny.’

I can get motivated seeing a kid at my son’s school overcome a learning disability.

Do you want to have a career that goes beyond, you know, 11 minutes in a 22-minute television show every week? Some people don’t. That’s fine.

Most stand-up comics relish performing ‘in one’ – solo. They like the autonomy.

Even when I was an actor in training, one criticism my teachers had was that I should think about directing instead of acting, because the best actors see the material they’re working on through blinders. They can’t see anything but their role. I could never really do that.

Every poker player, like every fisherman, needs to have a story in a box, and most poker stories are completely uninteresting.

Is it my end-all and be-all to become a standup comic? No.

Where are reliable journalism and reliable investigative voices going to come from? I love the days of old – the Walter Cronkites, the Dan Rathers.

Acting is not terribly important work, and I have always felt a bit of guilt about pursuing something that is so selfish. I love doing it, but it is never something that feels like it’s going to change or save the world.

Boston was a great town to go to college in. Maybe that’s why there’s so many colleges there. I love the town, and I loved Boston University.

I have always wanted to play Sweeney in ‘Sweeney Todd.’

One of the reasons I love acting is because I’m so interested in other people’s lives, and I often incorporate things I hear or observe into my work. I’ve become a bit of a ‘person addict,’ and so I like brushing up against lots of different characters.

I’m always more motivated by the pain of a funny character than by what makes him funny.

I find when somebody says to me, ‘I’m going to motivate you,’ more often than not, they’re not going to get me.

Poker is just a hobby I’m passionate about. It’s not supposed to bring glory.

I’m still bald, I just wear a toupee.

Do people absolutely need the arts to get by day-to-day? You can make that claim, but they also really need a lot of things before that.

Usually, characters that are doing something nefarious have some extra layers to them. The general rule is bad people don’t necessarily think they are bad.

I’m a singer and performer in a hybrid show that’s standup, music and audience participation.

But I didn’t know much about directing a movie.

I have no illusions about having another ‘Seinfeld’ in my life.

Directors get to fire on many more cylinders than an actor.

I went into performing for the community. Being backstage with your company of fellows is the best part of working in live theater. That energy, that combined focus, the synergy – it’s addictive.

I started balding at age 17 and after first being sad, I really embraced it.

I’m actually one of the more reluctant celebrities you will ever meet.

The thing about For Better or Worse is the only thing that made me an okay director for that is that I have a sense of humor, and it was supposed to be funny.

I would work with any one of them again in a heartbeat because it was joyous and incredibly easy.

I was a shy and insecure kid and didn’t know quite where I fit.

It’s a question of finding the right thing, if I’m going to be an actor… if I have to get up eight times a week for a number of months, I want to be excited and challenged from the day I start to the day I leave.

I know what it’s like to be in the closet! I know what it’s like to be bullied and attacked because someone or some group thought I was different or below them… so, I’m coming out of the closet as an ally of equality for everyone; as an ally to hope.

The pilot of ‘Seinfeld’ was made and dropped. ‘Seinfeld’ was not supposed to go to series.

You need to find the size of performance that’s appropriate to the material, appropriate to the shot, or appropriate to the scene.

Television, in particular, doesn’t look for talent; it looks for personas. You have a great persona? You can be a TV star.

I’m not a director to make an action or horror film. That’s not for me.

I guess the Reagan era is defined as the ‘I want it all for me, and screw everybody else’ era.

What is it about Iowa? I’m the shortest guy in the state.

There are always things that I’d love to do. As an actor, none of them are specific; all I’m looking for are things that are good quality, that are challenging for me to work on, and even better if I get to work with people that I respect and am excited to work with.

In New York, the theater is a destination point. In Los Angeles, no matter how provocative, how successful, how star-studded the theater event may be, it is, at best, a second-class citizen.

Most of the musical film work that I have done has been in this realm of what I think of as real family entertainment.

But one sets of grandparents lived on Davidson Avenue in the Bronx and one lived in Manhattan and I had an aunt and uncle in Queens, so in my heart I was a New Yorker.

Many people don’t know our famous ‘soup kitchen’ episode on Seinfeld was inspired by an actual soup restaurant off 8th Avenue in New York.

The downside of being a celebrity is that people kind of know about you, and you really don’t need them to know about you – you need them to know about your work.

The show is like an Edwardian play – emotional life gets stepped on for the sake of accepted manners, and that’s terrific for actors to play in.

When CNN does a story and then says, ‘Tweet us what you think’ – why? Why does it matter what I think? Why should my thoughts be broadcast on a national news program? It’s enough for me to just sit and listen and learn.

I’ve gotten a lot of compliments on the ‘Criminal Minds’ guy. I guess it’s because the look of that character is so different from what people expect of me.

The greatest part of the job was… that was for nine years it was a pleasure to go to work.

The necessity for ‘professionals’ in the entertainment industry is being constantly challenged.

I think with challenge comes a little more fun.

Comedy lives on in the web and TV, but nobody’s pressing comedy albums anymore.

You know, because of the lack of budget, we had to find neighborhoods where time had stopped – kind of stuck in the ’50s. And no place had that better than Staten Island.

Life and families and babies are all joyous gifts. But if we do not begin to truly account for our numbers, we will surely create an ecological crisis that will only lead to anguish and despair.

I am hard-core middle class.

Things that make me laugh range from a wonderful stand-up like Jerry Seinfeld, Louis C.K. and Chris Rock to my son Gabe, who does great improv work. I also look backwards to the great comedic actors like Jackie Gleason, Paul Lynde and Phil Silvers.

I do think that the days of gathering around a television set that functions merely as a television set, to receive a live broadcast of some networked programming, those days are probably numbered.

We made a deal that was acceptable to us. We got paid very handsomely for our final season.

If I could really move my career much more into predominantly directing, I would jump at that.

I love smart comedy.

I think that I have very few personal gifts to bring to real politics.