Top 60 Jim Breuer Quotes

As a kid, we were outdoors as much as possible.

Brian Johnson is the reason I became a Bon Scott fan.

Everywhere I go, I feel the city out. I walk around and get there early, and I go off the cuff with whatever’s going on in town.

Hannibal Buress keeps popping up. His delivery cracks me up. He’s smart and funny.

I really enjoy being in the rock world. They’re funny, 90 percent of them are funny. And they’re guys that you would just hang out with and it’s awesome.

I started out in 1989 doing open mic nights. The first 10 years, I was literally all about I’m going to be a star. I want leather pants, I want a kangaroo, I want to be on ‘MTV Cribs,’ I want to go to the mall with a pet monkey and I want everyone to go, ‘Wow, that guy’s huge, he’s successful.’

I have been fortunate enough to have a diverse career – appearing on TV, touring the country and meeting tons of celebrities, even hanging out with rock stars – and it has been a blast.

I was very blue collar, and I had a great upbringing.

I was hoping for big TV, film, and this and that, but stand-up was the only thing I knew.

I have a weird fan base, people from all over the place for some reason.

I was a very naive kid. I didn’t know there were people living in closets in Hollywood.

I really look up to any relationships that last for years, and people tough it out and fight it out.

The faith world to me is like a radio station. It’s there. And if you want to plug in and listen to it, kind of tune into it, it can definitely be helpful. I don’t know if it’s an energy? I don’t know what it is, but it fascinates me.

SNL’ and ‘Half-Baked’ came and certainly brought me a bigger audience. But I lost the perspective of being a real good comedian.

You can’t judge people for what you see for two seconds.

Most of the time I write visually. I get a visual of me in the audience watching the concert. I usually come up with the hooks first. Like with ‘Old School.’

I realized I don’t want anyone to control my destiny, whether it’s a network TV show or not. I would rather invest in my own projects and if they fail, they fail on their own merits, not because somebody else mangled it.

Obviously, being a diehard Mets fan, my passion is a given, but I also love playing baseball. I hadn’t been able to participate since high school, when the game became a little too fast for me.

People are surprised that I’m married.

I wanted to travel and I was fascinated with stand-up and I just knew nothing was ever going to stop me from doing it. My mom tried to, she’d say ‘You need to go to school and have a back up.’ Nah, mom, this is it.

When you have three teenage girls, and you’re married 21 years, and have a mother who’s blind in one eye and has dementia who lives with you, and your dad has worse dementia, and you’re into metal, and your wife is born again, you’re never running out of material.

I grew up an ’80s metal guy.

When you’re in this business, you’re chasing false identities, chasing money and stardom, which is nothing you can hold onto.

I’m a family guy who grew up with metal, and even though I’m domesticated I still have this in me.

I never left my street until I was 16 years old. I didn’t have to. I was entertained on that street forever. We were outside all day. The only reason to go inside was to sleep and eat.

Kids are like roosters, up at the first sign of dawn.

I’m the corner street storytelling guy. I’m the guy in the garage that the neighbors come over to talk to and I keep you entertained for hours.

I learned more about my father in his last 5 to 6 years than I ever did my whole lifetime.

I wanted nothing to do with Hollywood. It’s everything I’m against. I’m all for one and one for all, and there, it’s ‘All for me and I will do anything to get it.’ And that is not a way of living for me.

If you can step back and laugh at yourself and at a situation, it’s healing.

Humility is one of the key aspects of spirituality, and along with comedy, a key component of healing.

One of the things I did, I would go, ‘Dad, I know you don’t know how to work YouTube, but wait until you see this concert. I found Hank Williams in 1940. And look at this.’ Then that brings on memories and it brings happiness and it gives him a little extra breath in life.

I came from a blue-collar family where we busted each other’s chops and found the funny in tragedies.

My dream was to be the biggest comic with the biggest band, touring together.

I’m a die-hard Metallica fan, I know the guys.

Caregivers need humor not only for the healing aspect but also to lift our spirits and inspire us to keep doing what we are doing.

I’m clean but I’m not Disney.

So I started as a comic at 18 and got really into it by the time I was 21, 22, so I was on the road a lot. I lived everything I needed to live like a rock star.

I grew up Valley Stream until my parents moved to Florida when I was 20. I graduated from Valley Stream Central High School in 1985. It was the best childhood anyone could ever ask for.

To me, those three are the revolutionaries. Richard Pryor was honest, raw. George Carlin was brilliant. He was also deep, fearless. And Sam Kinison was another one who went deeper and he revolutionized the angle of tackling humor with the whole rock star element of yelling and screaming, which was hilarious.

Me and my wife started with absolutely nothing.

I know I’m not a rock star.

I started a family and I didn’t ever want to be away from them. I’m sure it hurt my career, but I didn’t care.

I have a deep respect for life in general; just a huge, deep respect for life. And I have definitely grasped onto the fact that every minute, every moment, to be grateful and thankful for. Because we really don’t know what’s two seconds away. We really don’t. It’s so unpredictable.

Before I even got ‘Saturday Night Live,’ I was already known as the furthest thing from a goat boy. I had a stand-up routine, which I was all ready to do on HBO, before ‘Saturday Night Live,’ so if my routine was dependent on being a goat, I would want to quit.

The Mets represent life and the reality of life, the winning, the losing, the hope, the faith. You stick with them through the ups and the downs, the heartbreaks. Every year you always have hope. You always have faith, even when they break your heart. You get mad, but you stick with them. They’re humbling.

I’ve got a very wide sense of humor.

I like old-school, riff-driven, hard rock music with big hooks!

Twenty years is what it takes to become a marriage warrior.

There’s a lot of dynamics that can really break a human down.

Laughter is what connects pretty much all pain.

When the energy is really high, I feed off it. Those are the nights where I really take a left turn and we just go.

Marriage is work. Get it out of your thick skull that marriage is, ‘Oh, we got married and now we just live forever wonderfully.’ It’s work. It’s just like starting a business: You’re going to bicker with your business partner, but you don’t leave the business partner. You work it out.

Volbeat is one of those bands, where as soon as I hear them, I know who it is. It sounds like Elvis – backed by a Metal band.

I’ve been around comedians that try their bits around you. I hate that.

I make my own schedule, I control my destiny, I get what I work for, and the money is great.

Don’t ever underestimate someone’s ability to live for the moment. At the end of the day everyone has a ‘Mr. Rock n Roll’ in them.

If there are kids in the crowd, I try to be more animated for them. It does change a little bit each show. There’s a lot of improv.

I find myself laughing at a lot of things, from slapstick to dark humor. I’m pretty much all over the place.

If I can bring you to the point where you’re almost in tears one minute and laughing so hard the next and you’ve healed a bit at the same time, that’s when I get to use the gift I was given.