Top 60 Tom Green Quotes

All of my old videos and the things I did on MTV, my old public access show – it was sort of all made for the Web, even though they were made before the Internet was broadcasting video.

It’s nice to go skating in a parking lot and hang out with people who aren’t talking about their next movie role.

I really missed what I’d done on Rogers Cable, which was shooting and editing all my own stuff.

I don’t want to make fun of somebody because of the way they look, where they’re from, or their religion.

I used to love ‘The Late Late Show.’ It was nice to be able to be up late at night and see an extended conversation.

I tend to sit around with my friends a lot and rant and rave about things I think are ridiculous in the world, and I tend to make fun of myself a lot.

You might remember me from Eminem’s rap lyrics.

Everyone on ‘The Apprentice’ hates each other. They put you in a room, and they don’t give you anything to do. They leave you there for 10 hours… they don’t give you any food or water, and you start getting angry and arguing with each other.

I tend to find comedy in dark places. I also tend to find comedy in taking on the status quo – which has always been something I find important.

I want people to know that I’m not just this crazy person flailing around. A lot of thought goes into what I do.

Whenever I do something, I tend to focus on it and spend all of my time and energy on it.

After my show and others like it began airing on TV, network executives started to see that there was a market for outrageous, over-the-top content.

I always have gotten nervous before every show. But the second I step onstage, it’s all gone. It’s sort of like an adrenaline rush for me.

When you work in television, working for a big corporation, no matter who you are, you can always get cancelled. That sucks. Do you really want to work with an axe over your head for the rest of your life? Not me, not really, and not if you don’t have to.

I don’t watch a whole lot of television, to be honest, but I do miss music videos.

How can we be free when we are prisoners to social media, in a world without privacy? How can we be free when our every movement is tracked and every conversation is recorded and can easily be held against us? How exactly are we free if we are tethered to our cell phones?

If something becomes mean-spirited and hurtful, it’s not funny.

It’s so nice to be able to get up on stage and just say the most disgusting, ridiculous, outrageous, offensive thing, knowing it’s just between you and the audience.

It bothers me when people say ‘shock comic’ or ‘gross-out’ because that was only one type of comedy I did. There was prank comedy. Man-on-the-street-reaction comedy. Visually surreal comedy. But you do something shocking, and that becomes your label.

I’ve always tried to do things a little bit before they were being done by the mainstream. I challenge myself to do that in stand-up also, to talk about things that I’m not hearing anybody talk about onstage and in the media.

When I’m 65 and still performing every week, I’d like people to say, ‘You know, when that guy was a kid, he made these weird, crazy videos?’ And they’ll have to go look for them – rather than it being the first thing they know about me.

Yes, I worked hard to put together an experimental show on a budget of zero. But I was not being exploited by anyone. I was in charge.

I lived in my parents’ basement until the age of 25 while I was trying to get my TV show off the ground.

Steve Jobs is considered an amazing genius and made billions of dollars. Sure, we overlook that he didn’t pay his share of taxes and didn’t believe in charity. But other than these occasional rumblings of dissent, he is pretty much held in high esteem.

I think that young people – teenagers, college-age people, anyone under the age of 30 – know when they’re being pandered to.

Vegas is exciting, and it’s nice to be somewhere on a regular basis rather than just criss-crossing the country. It allows me to have a semblance of a life.

I’d love to interview Mark Cuban!

Performing on stage is addictive. The adrenaline rush is exhilarating. When I stop touring for a couple weeks, I get antsy.

I essentially have always directed everything on my TV show without using that title; I edited and wrote all my stuff.

I don’t really consider myself an actor, and I don’t know if I’m a comedian.

I could sit here and say, ‘What would have happened if I hadn’t made that crazy television show, if I hadn’t made those crazy movies?’ Well, I’d be back in Canada working at Dairy Queen.

If YouTube had existed in 1999, I wouldn’t have had a show. And if YouTube had existed in 1999, I wouldn’t have wanted to do the show, because I couldn’t imagine clips from it following me a decade later.

I assumed I’d never be divorced.

I was a huge fan of Tom Snyder.

I like to do something that gets a real reaction from people.

If I ever interview somebody, I make sure I listen to them. As a comedian, I’ve gone on so many shows, I’ve wanted to take things to a crazy place. Sometimes the hosts don’t like that.

I’ve got friends all around the world, but it still never ceases to amaze me when I come to a place on the other side of the planet that I’ve always imagined going to, and to get there and be meeting people all over on the street who know me – it’s very exciting and humbling.

Sometimes it’s nice when you go out on the road, and you come back, and your girlfriend’s left you. You have complete freedom at that point.

It was just a very short period of time that I had a brief marriage.

It would be a dream to perform at Radio City Music Hall.

I have so much more fun doing stand-up. I can’t even begin to explain.

I found myself trying to work within the Los Angeles system. I had an agent and a manager, which I still do, and going to meetings with networks about game shows and reality shows and projects that weren’t mine. It was fun, but it wasn’t what I’d set out to do.

I’ve always found success in sort of separating myself from the pack mentality things.

I’ve always really enjoyed sounds and alliteration and funny words and funny melodies.

When I started doing stand-up again, a lot of it was coming from an angrier place, and I quickly learned that doesn’t spell a good time in a comedy club.

I first met the ‘Trailer Park Boys’ when they did my web television show, and since then, I’ve hung out with them a few times.

I’ve always liked outrageous comedy and pushing the envelope.

I grew up practically getting into this business because of David Letterman. I wanted to do comedy-based interviews.

The easiest way to win the competition for eyeballs in the digital age is to broadcast bad behavior. People like watching train wrecks.

I’m a little bit of a techie.

I knew at an early age that I wanted to pursue comedy.

When I started my show, it was a public access show in Canada, and I was a broadcasting student in the early ’90s, years before I was on MTV. We were kids sort of experimenting and trying to take on the system – you know, the media machine.

I think somebody getting repulsed is a positive reaction. Any reaction is positive.

Comedy is delivered to people in the same form that music is being delivered: by YouTube. People are sharing music and comedy in the same way now.

You can’t let regret stifle your creativity.

When my first show was on MTV, and it was this outrageous persona, I think people certainly didn’t know what to think. But it was a performance. I’m sure people didn’t know that it was a performance; they thought maybe I was just nuts, but that was all intentional.

I’m incredibly proud to bring back ‘Tom Green Live’ for a third season on AXS TV. AXS TV’s commitment to unique, out-of-the-box humor, in a completely open and uncensored format, is unparalleled.

I have a different perspective on the world than the way I looked at the world when I was 20. I was kind of naive. I’m a cancer survivor, been working in this industry for a time, and older with more opinions, more experience.

I used to do stand-up when I was in high school. But I was also making beats for this rap group, and when we got a record deal, I sort of stopped doing the comedy and focused on the music instead. When that ended, I decided to go back to school, take broadcasting, and start my show on public-access TV.

The truth of the matter is, I worry about nearly every bit I’ve ever done. I’m very critical of myself.