Top 60 Wanda Sykes Quotes

My wife asked me if I ever thought I would ever retire from stand-up. And I thought about it, and I was like, ‘No, because it’s my job; it’s what I do, and I enjoy it.’ It’s still the most challenging thing for me to do.

But sometimes the women writers will pitch something and I’ll hear it, but the men will keep talking.

People – I hate to use the word ‘fans’ – are very respectful. It’s not like I’m some pop idol or big movie star. I’m very approachable, and I love the people who enjoy me, because they react like they’ve run into a friend. Usually, it’s like, ‘Hey, Wanda! How ya’ doing?’

I have a very diverse crowd from old, young, black, white, straight, gay. It’s a little bit of everybody.

Actually, I majored in marketing and I have a bachelor of science.

My voice is distinctive: there’s a rhythm to it, and also, it’s funny. I was just blessed with a funny-sounding voice.

I knew I was outspoken when I was a kid because, whenever my parents had company coming over, they would pay me to leave. ‘Go see your grandmother. Get out of here.’ That was my first paying gig.

I’m always thinking of stuff; I just don’t sit down and write it. I come up with material more as I go along; if something funny happens, I’ll make a note of it on my phone.

What drives the creative person is that we see it all.

I work hard. The staff and crew see how much energy I put into this project, and it makes them step up.

Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.

I have problems with YouTube and things like that, when you catch it mid production. If I’m doing a show and I’m working on a bit and someone’s there with a phone, they record it and put it online – it’s not the finished product.

I had real big boobs, and I just got tired of knocking over stuff. Every time I eat, ‘Oh, Lord’. I’d carry a Tide stick everywhere I go. My back was sore, so it was time to have a reduction.

I love working with other actors and other people – you know, stand-up – it’s lonely; it’s just you out there and the audience. But it’s fun working with other actors. I love doing that, too.

But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you’re funny you will get over all of that.

I’m really funny now.

I guess because of my act, people think that I say things they want to say, and that they can just come up and say anything to me.

I tried snowboarding, and that scared the hell out of me.

My worlds collide. When one things happens, it just starts a domino effect – everything else goes on.

I don’t like doing the same material over and over again. It’s not fun.

In ’87, I used to do this awful, awful James Brown impression.

I noticed recently, in the last few shows I did, that I’m starting to get people – not a large group, but quite a few people – who come to see me because they love Curb Your Enthusiasm.

My shows and my material are grounded in reality. It’s pretty much something that’s either happened in my life or in the news, and I start there and give you my take on it.

The government shouldn’t be involved in this because it’s very simple. If you don’t believe in same-sex marriage, then don’t marry somebody of the same sex.

I remember, when I was a kid, my summers were pretty much running around, riding your bike, and then complaining about you were bored.

I’m here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.

I think it’s because my comedy is in your face, and it comes from a place that’s real.

I have to be socially aware; I feel like that’s my job.

Then you had people who wanted to get into comedy just to get a TV deal.

I tried theatre. I played Miss Hannigan for a short run of Annie at a regional theatre. That was fun. I enjoyed it! I enjoy theatre and have so much respect for theatre actors.

If I did a talk show, this would allow me to speak on what’s happening at that moment. I can be current, and I get to flex my stand-up muscle but stay at home without doing the traveling.

There’s so many good comedians in D.C. I started hanging out with those guys. Dave Chappelle was there. Actually, Dave was too young to be in the clubs, so when his mom couldn’t make it, he would ask me to pretend I was his aunt, so he could do open mike.

I’m here today because I hated everything else.

It wasn’t until after the reduction that in the lab work, the pathology, that they found that I had DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ) in my left breast. I was very, very lucky because DCIS is basically stage-zero cancer. So I was very lucky.

There’s obviously a group who enjoys what Tyler Perry is putting out there. And why fault them? And there’s a group that loves the things that Spike does. So they should enjoy that, too. Is it my taste? Maybe not, but I’m not going to fault anybody for doing what they’re doing as long as people are showing up.

Don’t bother me while I’m eating, or when I’m coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.

I’m finally just relaxed and comfortable with who I am.

And then also I think it’s harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.

I worked with people like Edward Snowden. Well, not people who took stuff home.

It’s not until you develop your own voice, your own persona onstage that you become your own comic, who you really are.

It wasn’t until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I’m just behind the jokes.

I enjoy stand-up because it has the biggest reward: instant gratification. You can hear the people laughing.

I love Costas. He’s knows too much, but he’s a good guy.

I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.

Usually, there’s nothing being thrown toward the stage or at me. Then I feel pretty good about it.

Men are dogs. Men are dogs. We got to stop it. Men are not dogs. Uh-uh. Dogs are loyal.

A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh.

I had breast cancer. Yeah, I know it’s scary.

I watch Jay. I watch ‘Letterman’. I flip back and forth between ‘Conan’ and ‘Letterman’, especially the top of the show for those guys.

It’s hard to get fired from the government. You have to, like, kill people.

I watched a lot of comedy growing up.

If a topic hits me, I’ll start going on it. But you can’t force it.

Stand-up, by far, is my favorite.

I really can’t pinpoint the one moment when I said I want to be a comic.

The first time onstage, a light went on. ‘OK, this is my thing. I’m comfortable here. This is my thing.’

I like doing a bunch of different things, being all over the place.

It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians.

When I’m not on T.V. or working on a movie, I’m on the road doing stand-up. That’s my roots.

I was working at the NSA. I don’t know, I was just bored. I just knew that’s not what I was supposed to be doing with my life.

That’s why I talk about the breast cancer: because I want women – and everyone – to stay on top of things and get checked. I know how scary it can be. When I dealt with it, I was like, ‘Oh my God.’ And I have so many other friends who have gone through it or have suffered a loss.